i've lost my best friend because he confessed his feelings :( Watch

TommyWannabe
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#61
Report 9 years ago
#61
(Original post by silverbolt)
or maybe contact him once more saying i realise what your doing and i understand and il be there when youve sorted yourself out
That's just about the worst thing you can do.

Just leave him alone, you're never going to talk to him again.
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Anonymous #1
#62
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#62
(Original post by Zedd)
This is the problem. You and him were acting like a couple, so you can't blame the guy for developing feelings for you. You telling him that you don't want it to go anywhere with him but you want to continue being close friends is like saying you want to have your cake and eat it.

He's decided to cut his losses, simple as that. Leave the poor bloke be to live his life.
we weren't acting like a couple :confused: we were acting as friends. and if he was a girl too then people would never see it as being more than friends. i have a boyfriend who means everything to me. i didn't need my friend as a kind of replacement
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Hello_Kitty
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#63
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#63
He is probably taking this time back home as an opportunity to get over you, and then at the end of summer you can get back to being the best of friends.
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seether
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#64
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#64
wow. Exact same thing happened to me
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BrianGretzky99
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#65
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#65
Asking a guy who liked you to be your friend after you rejected him is so emasculating. What you're basically saying to him is, 'I see you as some asexual being who I can unload all of my problems onto when my bf doent want to listen to me. I think the real question you have to ask is if you love your bf so much why do you crave talking/hanging around with this other guy? Now that he has realized that he has no chance of bedding you he has moved on. IF you dont understand this read this: www.laddertheory.com
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Delta Usafa
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#66
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#66
If one more person implies that all he wanted was sex, I'm going to explode! Men are perfectly capable of having emotions and wanting more than just a screw, you all know.


(Original post by Anonymous)
we weren't acting like a couple :confused: we were acting as friends. and if he was a girl too then people would never see it as being more than friends. i have a boyfriend who means everything to me. i didn't need my friend as a kind of replacement
I don't cry on my friends' shoulders, or hold their hair back when they puke, or tuck them into bed. :confused:
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MagicNMedicine
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#67
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#67
(Original post by Delta Usafa)
Why would you assume that all he wanted was to have sex?
Because he was being friendly until the girl told him she wasn't interested and now he seems to have lost interest.....something tells me he wasn't in the game of making friends
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Anonymous #1
#68
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#68
(Original post by Delta Usafa)
If one more person implies that all he wanted was sex, I'm going to explode! Men are perfectly capable of having emotions and wanting more than just a screw, you all know.



I don't cry on my friends' shoulders, or hold their hair back when they puke, or tuck them into bed. :confused:
i do. have you never had to help a drunken friend after a night out? or console them when they're upset about something? that's pretty weird imo
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Delta Usafa
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#69
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(Original post by MagicNMedicine)
Because he was being friendly until the girl told him she wasn't interested and now he seems to have lost interest.....something tells me he wasn't in the game of making friends
Er... or he genuinely liked her and wanted a relationship with her. And fyi, sex =/= relationship.

If all he wanted was sex, he wouldn't have said he was in love with her. Instead, he would have tried to seduce her in some way or another. The intended result when you confess your love for someone who is taken is for them to drop their current relationship to pursue a closer one with you. That would be FAR too complicated of a situation for someone who just wanted sex.

(Original post by Anonymous)
i do. have you never had to help a drunken friend after a night out? or console them when they're upset about something? that's pretty weird imo
Must be a girl thing. With guys, we basically watch each other puke to make sure we don't drown in the toilet bowl or our own vomit, but we're not really into physically comforting each other. It's all just supervision and not much more. As for consoling, yeah, but there's still a bit of distance that stays in place.
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Anonymous #1
#70
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#70
(Original post by Delta Usafa)
Er... or he genuinely liked her and wanted a relationship with her. And fyi, sex =/= relationship.

If all he wanted was sex, he wouldn't have said he was in love with her. Instead, he would have tried to seduce her in some way or another. The intended result when you confess your love for someone who is taken is for them to drop their current relationship to pursue a closer one with you. That would be FAR too complicated of a situation for someone who just wanted sex.


Must be a girl thing. With guys, we basically watch each other puke to make sure we don't drown in the toilet bowl or our own vomit, but we're not really into physically comforting each other. It's all just supervision and not much more. As for consoling, yeah, but there's still a bit of distance that stays in place.
tbf if it's someone know then i'll always help if i can. even if its just getting them a glass of water and just sitting with them like you said. so maybe that wasn't a great example of closeness. the point is, i would do the same for any good friend of mine, boy or girl. it's a characteristic of friendship, not a relationship.
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Delta Usafa
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#71
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#71
(Original post by Anonymous)
tbf if it's someone know then i'll always help if i can. even if its just getting them a glass of water and just sitting with them like you said. so maybe that wasn't a great example of closeness. the point is, i would do the same for any good friend of mine, boy or girl. it's a characteristic of friendship, not a relationship.
Eh, I suppose.

But then there's the tucking him into bed part. :p:
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Anonymous #1
#72
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#72
(Original post by Delta Usafa)
Eh, I suppose.

But then there's the tucking him into bed part. :p:
lol i never said tucked in :p: it usually consists of directing him to his bed, putting a bin next to it, telling him to use it if he needs it and throwing a cover over him. im rarely sympathetic enough to make sure he's got a pillow, never mind tuck him in lol
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brunsidebilsi
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#73
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#73
(Original post by Anonymous)
ugh anon or delete please

i met this guy in the first couple of weeks at uni and we clicked instantly. we had a big group of mutual friends that we spent all our time with but we were always very close. people noticed it and there was much gossiping about us liking eachother and being together (though nothing ever happened). i have a boyfriend that i love to bits and i have never thought of this guy as anything other than a friend or a kind of brother. when i found out that our friends were thinking like this i decided to back off because i didn't want to give anyone the wrong impression.

my friend noticed me backing off and in what seemed to be a now or never kind of action, confessed that he loved me. he said he'd liked me since the moment he met me and had fell hard for me over the past few months. he didn't seem to think i felt the same way but said he just needed to tell me. i told him as gently as i could that i was in love with my boyfriend but i still wanted to be good friends with him.

he seemed to accept this and we carried on as friends for a while, though admittedly not as close as before which was understandable. but since we went home for the summer (he only lives a 30 min drive away from me) he's hardly contacted me at all. He gives short replies to texts whenever i've sent him a chatty hey how are you text (which has only been about three times). He generally seems uninterested in talking to me or spending time with me anymore. I've seen him once since we left uni and that was only because it was a mutual friend's birthday. I don't understand what i've done wrong i thought we were getting back on track but now he's virtually ignoring me. my boyfriend thinks maybe he's taking the summer as a time to get over me because at uni we saw eachother every day because of our friends and where we lived. but i thought he got over it already because he's slept with so many girls recently, i thought he'd forgotten about me anyway. Can anyone explain this to me?

Ive had similar experiences (ie im in a similar position ) and, because this was more than two years ago, wondered how it worked out? Did you guys reconcile and continue being friends or did you move on and it was never the same?
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OMGWTFBBQ
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#74
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#74
(Original post by brunsidebilsi)
Ive had similar experiences (ie im in a similar position ) and, because this was more than two years ago, wondered how it worked out? Did you guys reconcile and continue being friends or did you move on and it was never the same?
Please don't resurrect threads from 3 years ago.
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