You know, the whole "everyone else is doing it" doesn't seem to apply.
In my experiance people are a lot of talk, or there is a certain "group" who excudes so much energy it seems like everyone is having sex.
I never read into the idea of sex being sacred, sometimes I wish I felt that way, but I'm happy not being a virgin. If anything it has made me more confident in myself, knowing what I want and don't want, and not having that "fear."
Honestly I think it's something a mistake for two virgins to never have sex before they're married.
People proud of their virginity Watch
- 13-07-2009 17:42
- 13-07-2009 17:54
I reckon, like has been said, its ok to be "proud" of it when you are waiting for the right time/ person. Example, I'm 15, and I could have sex with my boyfriend any time, but i'm pretty sure I want to wait ages because I would regret it in the future. I know thats because of the law.. but I would be proud if I got to 18 and was still a virgin just because I would have survived peer pressure and society expectations =). I am however, pretty sure I wont last until then. Damn it!
- 13-07-2009 17:57
It depends on why they are a virgin. If it's because they are religious or because they believe sex before marriage is wrong and they have actually had to make a concious effort to resist and stick to their beliefs, then I think it makes sense to be proud. I would be proud of that, because it takes effort.
If they're just proud because they like to feel smug, then that's just pointless and silly.
- 13-07-2009 18:00
I don't see why you need to be proud of it or ashamed of it. Far as I'm concerned, your private life is private. Only people that it concerns have to know about it, like a (potential) partner or whatever.
- 13-07-2009 18:20
To me, 3/4 times being proud of being a virgin is just an excuse for virgins who really want to lose it but have never had the opportunity. I think its better to say you dont mind being a virgin rather than being proud.
(Original post by ßlαcksωαn)
- 13-07-2009 18:27
Maybe they mean they are proud to be a virgin instead of the opposite...ashamed and/or embarrassed for never having sex.
(Original post by emmie19)
- 13-07-2009 19:55
How come? Not to be biased... but you're a girl as well.. And I thought anon was about other problems, not just losing virginity?
Tbh, I don't mind I am a virgin tbh, but don't feel the need to boast about it (though I've mentioned it on TSR, because you know, some of the convos...)
I just got sick of the social stigma attached to being a virgin. People at college would talk about virgins and laugh. The girls were just as bad as the boys. TV programmes would poke fun at virgins. No matter how much people say it doesn't matter I couldn't help but feel depressed about it. (I'll admit though that there were other things in my life which were getting me down at the time and that I had a problem with my confidence in general.) If you can put up with the social pressure then I have nothing but respect for you but I took the easy option of getting it over and done with and it felt like a weight off my shoulders.
There's also the fact that I was quite sexually frustrated. It's not as though I didn't want to have sex. But it was the things that people said that made me feel embarrassed.
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- TSR Support Team
- 13-07-2009 20:19
Yes but is there really that much societal pressure to have sex? Remember TSR is part of society and a large but anonymous section here think it's cool and worthy of respect to delay the natural process of becoming sexually active.
From my experiences of uni, no one really cares if you're a virgin. A girl asked me once, and that was it. My course mates or flat mates or general mates couldn't care less. There was one guy who, when drunk did things that didn't best please people and some people speculated that he might be a virgin, but no one really meant it in a negative way. If you weren't having sex no one cared or asked. If you were, again no one cared, as long as you weren't noisy when doing it in the middle of the night. There was a lot of sex going on, and the vast majority of people were not virgins, but I certainly didn't get the vibe that apparently there is huge societal pressure to go out and have sex.
- 13-07-2009 20:29
im not proud to be a virgin, but it doesn't bother me that i am, i just havnt been in a serious enough relationship yet. i dont understand people that really want to lose their virginity, how could you be that desperate that you have to start making threads about it?
- 13-07-2009 20:39
Its more proud to not feel that you have to have sex to be cool.
- 13-07-2009 21:24
Being gay is a part of who you are. Its like being proud of your Swiss heritage or whatever. Thats understable because its who you are and you're <i>proud</i>.
With virginity, you can be proud that you haven't given into temptation, that you haven't fallen prey to pressure and that you, unlike many teens, are actually going to wait for someone you really like/love before you do it.
(Original post by Yawn11)
- 13-07-2009 21:25
When I was a virgin, I didn't really talk about it. I had no problems getting girls or anything, but for some reason, i never went that far. But I surroudnded by guys who did it regularly, and one day I was the joke being the only virgin in the circle. So i was like screw you, i'm gonna do it to shut you up. Now I'm not a virgin... hmm... yeah nothing more to add lool
Anyone who's saying it's easy not to give in to peer pressure is talking shyt. We all know what it's like at that age, some get it worse than others, but it's usually anything but easy.
I think virgins use the word 'proud' in a non-literal sense anyway, whereas gay people use it in a literal sense, like many black people do, with little to no reasoning behind it.Last edited by gazzab; 13-07-2009 at 21:27.
- CV Helper
(Original post by strawberry)
- 13-07-2009 21:36
I think being proud to be a virgin is just being proud of the fact that you're not like the masses (though there are a growing number of virgins apparently)
(Original post by la fille danse)
- 14-07-2009 01:30
The number of virgins can only grow, at most, at the rate of general population growth.
(Original post by Lizia)
- 14-07-2009 11:25
It's pretty easy. If you don't want to do it, don't. It's only difficult if you're the sort of loser who cares more about what other people think about them than what they want from life. If you know for certain you want to wait for someone special, it isn't that hard to remain a virgin. Remaining a virgin until marriage would be a challenge, I admit, but simply waiting for someone you like quite a lot isn't.
The point is: you still turned it down. Of course alcohol makes it more difficult, but that's not "society's pressure", that's you being pissed and wanting to do things you wouldn't do sober. If a randomer came up to you when sober and offered, you'd turn them down I presume, since you want it to be with someone special. So that's clearly just the influence of alcohol, not society telling you that you must **** or you're a loser. And, if they're decent mates, it's just the influence of alcohol making them root you on, it's hardly society bearing down on you.
Like I said, if you're happy with . I don't know anyone who had sex because "society told me I must" or "sex is everywhere". If you really want to resist it, it isn't difficult. It's only difficult if you're unsure about what you want in the first place. If you know 100% you want to lose it to someone special, I'd say you were exceptionally weak-willed if "society" made you lose it elsewhere.
Not to mention, those friends who have sex also make fun of you for not having sex, and make efforts to get you laid. And then some of those movies include American Pie, Sex Drive, and The 40 Year Old Virgin and their whole premise is a mockery of virginity.
Society is a big pressure. It's not a conscious thing, either. When you encounter a sex opportunity you obviously don't go "oh, society would really want me to do this!" However, it boosts your subconscious desire to lose your virginity, because of the stigma associated with virginity.
(Original post by strawberry)
I meant that there are a growing number of people who choose not to have sex before marriage.
(Original post by AnonyMatt)
- 14-07-2009 14:06
I saw this reply in one of the other, ever popular "y am i still virgin" threads.
What does it mean?
Is it like when gay people say they're proud to be gay, in that it makes no sense whatsoever and is a silly thing to say?
How can you be proud of:
1) Not having the sexual urge to have 'sexual flings'. You can hardly control this, so where does the pride stem from?
2) Having not found, or been accepted by any partner you wish to have sex with as an act of love.
3) Waiting for *some event*.
Are there any other possible reasons for pride that I can't think of?
I would like to know why some virgins would rather be virgins than not. Unless of course this isn't what pride means in this sense.
Here I am discounted such cases where virginity is lost due to rape. I would like to define loss of virginity here, only in consentual cases.
This thread has been spawned by my puzzled reaction to the thread(s) mentioned above, and my sleep deprived state.
Also note, I am both gay and a virgin so this is not an attack on either groups of people.
Is there any absolute reason why a person should be desperate to lose it?
- 14-07-2009 21:23
I'm a virgin and I'm proud to be one!
I'm only 14, but its shocking how many people younger than me have just thrown it away, I mean, it is a special thing, especially I think to girls, and I'd rather save myself to someone I'm truly ready for and that I love, rather than thrown it away and be meaningless, there is that old saying that whoever you lose it to- you belong to them!