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    Im 21 and I broke up with a really nice guy in February, it just fizzled out for me but he was devastated. I know this sounds starnge because I broke it off but it broke my heart too, I was devastated that I just stopped loving him, I genuinely thought It was 'it'.
    So im single and going to college in September, thing is I miss having someone and lets be frank I miss sex. I want someont to watch tv with and go to the cinema and sleep with but my lifes been difficult the last few years as Ive been ill, now its getting back on track and im scared that if something like this happens again it will wreck everything.
    what do I do, just have a casual thing or risk a relationship?
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    If you didn't even met the guy why are you already thinking about it? You'll know what to do when the time is right.

    Being afraid of having a relationship migh be wrong though.
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    Have a casual thing and take it from there because you obviosly sacred of going into a relarionship
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    Seems to be a thing with girls at this age - falling out of love with people - I'm not sure if it's just our age or the wrong person... would be interesting to know. I.e. if you met that person at 30 would you still love them now?
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    Good luck trying to keep your emotions at bay if you do just have a 'fling' though...
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    (Original post by Louloubelleb)
    what do I do, just have a casual thing or risk a relationship?
    It's not something you can chose like that, you can't pick who your going to be emotionally attached too. Just wait until you meet someone and see what happens.

    To steal a line from Tennyson "Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all."

    Whenever you start a relationship you're always going to be taking a risk that it might not work out and you might end up getting hurt. But the reward for when it works out makes up for it.

    If you could go back in time would you rather you never had the relationship with the guy ? - or does the happiness from the times spent together outweigh the sorrow of the break-up ?
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    (Original post by Louloubelleb)
    what do I do, just have a casual thing or risk a relationship?
    An analogy which fits your current mindset on relationships is, "Better not drive the car in case I crash". There's a risk in anything you do and being in a relationship is one of them. People get hurt, sometimes people don't care, it happens. Avoiding a relationship because there's a chance you'll get hurt is, to be frank, pretty paranoid.

    Casual sex by no means grants emotional carte blanche considering most casual agreements almost always end up with the scales tipping to one of, or both, people involved. Judging from what you've written, there's a good chance it'll be you seeing as you want more than just sex.

    Take your time in finding somebody decent. Anybody who's vageuly worth it will take their time instead of trying to shag you on the spot.
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    its not fair on your partner if you only want it to be casual and they dont....unless they want the same thing....but whats the point of a relationship if its 'casual'?
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    *cough* Sanction yourself
 
 
 
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