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    (Original post by SamTheMan)
    Nice idea but profoundly wrong. Culture and upbringing have everything to do with sexual desires.

    If it wasn't so, then we'd have similar sexual practices in every country, which simply isn't the case.
    Not to sound like some sleazebag who goes around Europe bedding women, but from experience, I can confidently claim that sexual practices and preferences vary immensely from country to country.

    Your statement doesn't surprise me as people don't naturally accept the idea of how much their culture and upbringing shapes who they are. We all like to believe that we are free individuals void of any external influence that would prevent us from being who we really are.
    i actually was talking about in the UK, as if you look at what i quoted someone called someone else 'snobby' as if upper class people shouldnt do things like that.
    i am aware that it was a generalisation but i was talking within the uk, and before you pick faults with that and say there are of lots of religions, i mean you bog standard person on the street.
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    (Original post by Polly1101)
    i actually was talking about in the UK, as if you look at what i quoted someone called someone else 'snobby' as if upper class people shouldnt do things like that.
    i am aware that it was a generalisation but i was talking within the uk, and before you pick faults with that and say there are of lots of religions, i mean you bog standard person on the street.
    So you mean anyone who's "normal", like you.. It doesn't work that way unfortunately. Everyone thinks they're the norm. Someone made a point about oral sex not being the norm in certain social circles. I think they're wrong but they have a point that sexual practices vary a lot from one social group of people to another. It's quite well-known that young people reassure themselves that they're normal by comparing themselves to peers: if their best friends do it, then it's got to be normal... (totally flawed logic however)

    Even within the UK, we are all culturally different whether it's our taste in music, the books we read, the people we hang around.

    Actually when it comes to oral sex, there is no natural desire to perform it. The popularity of oral sex in the Western world is very much a cultural thing.
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    (Original post by evantej)
    In most cases girls will give oral sex before having intercourse. If you have had sex with her then you can safely assume that she will probably not give you oral sex - ever. Things might change but neither of you sound particularly mature so I would not count on it.
    Why?

    You can't really speak for everyone; sex isn't that predictable.
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    Don't expect your girlfriend to do anything she feels uncomfortable with doing. Some people don't mind giving head, others do. She said she didn't want to give you a blowjob, not that she didn't want to have sex with you.

    Two years is a long time, though. Does she believe in sex before marriage? How old are you both?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)

    ive talked and talked, even begged.
    Just fold now. The damage is long done. Stop throwing away your dignity and manhood (that you already haven't ceded to her anyways)
    Simple tip for next time though: How you start is how you finish


    i dont think shes interested in sex 1 bit and gives stupid excuses, wot to do now?
    Trust me, if she had that great desire for you, (and this is the REAL issue here, don't listen to anyone that says otherwise) this thread wouldn't exist and you would be swimming in blowjobs. Doesn't the fact that after TWO YEARS she doesn't really care about your pleasure worry you?
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    #1

    yep, it does worry me a lot, she says she isnt willing bcos she doesnt trust me (had sme problems previously)

    even when we was strong and good nothing really happening in the bedroom dep. even right now i try to make arrangements to have a free house ect.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yep, it does worry me a lot, she says she isnt willing bcos she doesnt trust me (had sme problems previously)
    She's playing you like Nintendo here.

    Assuming you are 18 (and you still haven't told us how old you guys are), it's time to let this one go. Not just because she won't give you oral (which is just symptomatic of why she has to go). But because she doesn't respect you as a man, and she never will. Thus, it's time to be single for a while (read: a year or 3), have some fun with some other women, become a man and THEN, when you have a more solid idea of what you want in i) women, and MUCH MORE IMPORTANTLY ii) life, you can make better choices.

    Out of interest how did you guys meet/get together? It might answer a few questions as to how/why you ended up in this situation...............
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    #1

    i am 20 years old, she is 19, we met in college/6th form. we are not kids, im very much an adult and behave like one, therefore id like an adult relationship,

    and she doesnt like sex related things, all she likes is hugs and kisses, if i stop tht then ders no point of going out lol.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm glad I read through this thread. I am in perhaps a similar situation. My girlfriend and I have been in love for over 2 years, she's my best friend etc etc and I never want to leave her, and she feels exactly the same way. However, the lack of physical intimacy is so frustrating- she never 'wants' me physically, I always have to ask her, and although she tells me she does desire me, it feels like she doesn't. I am always having to plead with her, and she always says no. We have been semi-naked together (which always requires much begging), and kissing her on the breasts is the most intimate we've been. She says she likes this, but I think she just says that to make me happy. Whenever we talk about sex, she says she wants to, but "one day". It's not a marriage thing- we both don't believe in marriage. It is extremely frustrating given that I am madly in love with her and have been with her for over 2 years! Sometimes I think she must be asexual or something! And yet I know she is in love with me. Any advice?
    Hey, how old are the two of you ?
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    (Original post by Jinxy)
    Hey, how old are the two of you ?
    We are both 20, and it hurts me a lot, because I love her beyond words, and I know she loves me, and we want to spend the rest of our lives together. But she seems to have no sexual desire for me, or anyone else for that matter. She says I'm beautiful etc etc, but just..oh I don't know.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i am 20 years old, she is 19, we met in college/6th form. we are not kids, im very much an adult and behave like one, therefore id like an adult relationship
    As I may or may not have already said, your main problems are:
    i) you fear the end of the relationship more than she does
    ii) you have not established any leadership in the relationship
    iii) she doesn't want to **** you that much. If she did she had two years to get some.

    The worst thing (from your perspective) is that if she meets a man she truely desires she will give up the pussy at a speed that would make even Usain Bolt say "Even I couldn't catch that up!"

    and she doesnt like sex related things, all she likes is hugs and kisses, if i stop tht then ders no point of going out lol.
    EXACTLY. Now you are getting it. You are still young, so I don't know why you fear the end of THIS relationship. As long as you learn something from this experience, and have a clearer image of what you want from a woman in the future, and don't compromise, and have something to offer, this won't arise again.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We are both 20, and it hurts me a lot, because I love her beyond words, and I know she loves me, and we want to spend the rest of our lives together. But she seems to have no sexual desire for me, or anyone else for that matter. She says I'm beautiful etc etc, but just..oh I don't know.
    Maybe she's just not ready? Maybe she wants to wait till she's married? Maybe she's afraid because she's never done it before?

    Have you tried having a proper conversation about it, where she can really open up to you maybe about why she's afraid of doing it? I'm sure she finds you attractive it's just not what all girls want. some people never want anything sexual in a relationship. If thats how she feels at the end of the day you have to ask yourself can you cope without any sexual contact, i know i couldnt.
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    (Original post by Jinxy)
    Maybe she's just not ready? Maybe she wants to wait till she's married? Maybe she's afraid because she's never done it before?

    Have you tried having a proper conversation about it, where she can really open up to you maybe about why she's afraid of doing it? I'm sure she finds you attractive it's just not what all girls want. some people never want anything sexual in a relationship. If thats how she feels at the end of the day you have to ask yourself can you cope without any sexual contact, i know i couldnt.
    No, it's not about marriage. We both share the belief that marriage in itself is just a piece of paper, it's love and commitment that counts, and we love each other and are committed to each other, forever. Of course we have discussed it and we always open up to each other about everything. But she just says she doesn't know what the reason is, she can't explain it, and she hopes things will improve in the future. She finds my sexual desire strange, even though it's of course perfectly normal. I don't understand.
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    (Original post by 02mik_e)
    lol no offense or anything, but you should kinda respect her decision as giving a blow job isn't exatly the norm. Though I could possibly sympathise with you if she said she would never give you sex.
    Lol it kinda is. The girls givin the bj are in loving relationships(chris rock):rolleyes:
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    You'll have to do a Ron Jeremy.

    8========D:ahee:

    Catch my drift?
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    If she doesn't want to give you a blow job, tell her to find a man who doesn't want blows jobs....

    basically, leave her.
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    lol some good answers there, um il see what happens, but yeh otherwise u guys are right, il have to leave her, relationship isnt working. every man has some needs, however big or small, right!
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    Would you respect her as much if she had given into similar requests with some previous guy, despite really not wanting to do it? Or if she just did everything ANY guy had ever requested or will we request?

    It doesn't sound like you're really seeing your relationship as serious so in that case, if you're not getting what you were expecting out of the relationship/agreement, don't bother continuing. You are indeed wasting your time.

    But unfortunately, when it comes to proper relationships, you have to accept that girls do have their own preferences/principles/rules. I've done my fair share of complaining, asking for this and that, but ultimately, you realise that you respect your girlfriend more for only doing what she's comfortable with.

    There is only one word for a girl who does things because she feels "obliged to", despite really not wanting to.
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    Blowjobs can be brilliant. But they can also be really bad.

    If your impression is that they "aren't that good" then something is wrong. Anyway.. I dunno what to say to your girl

    I would hope nobody would have that predicament... don't girls like pleasing their boyfriends and vica verca?
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    (Original post by mr-breaker)
    The worst thing (from your perspective) is that if she meets a man she truely desires she will give up the pussy at a speed that would make even Usain Bolt say "Even I couldn't catch that up!"
    I disagree with much of what you said but this I do agree with.

    The OP is obviously not in the kind of relationship he wants to be in. His girlfriend's attitude towards the relationship seems to be a lot closer to a close friendship than a fully-sharing boyfriend-girlfriend thing. If she's not trusting you then you're obviously not right for her.

    My advice would be this: It's unfair to the both of you to continue in a relationship where you're both wanting something from your partner that they're not happy about. You want a full sexual relationship and she wants somebody who's content to just be a cuddly boyfriend-figure. At the moment things are going "her way", obviously if they were going "your way" this would be a much worse situation. Some people commenting here might see this as "you should threaten to dump her if she doesn't do it" advice but honestly I think you've already pushed this too far. I think you should break it off before somebody's feelings get more seriously hurt.
 
 
 
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