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Sad/Loner now - wait for uni? watch

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    im not a complete loner, i talk to a lot of people and i go out at least twice a month?! at school im quite sociable, but outside of school im not that much, i dont see many other people

    i feel im a bit sad compared to others in my year, who go out once a week and meet girls and get drunk (not bothered about that last bit!)

    am i quite sad for waiting to do all this at university, because im trying to work hard now and then really have fun at uni and be much more social

    do a lot of people do this? or are doing this now?

    basically, in short, i'm waitin for university to make lots of friends and go out etc. and right now i'm quite a sad person!
    (jam today, jam tomorrow? i.e. study now and be lonely, to have fun later at university)
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    I think you have to find a healthy balance between a social life and studying. university is about studying after all, but it doesn't mean you can't have fun at the same time
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    I'm a bit like that.. if I stay at 6th form for year 13 I won't have much of a social life because I don't have that many friends and I can just work really hard for one year and go to Uni and make loads of new friends.. or I can move to college for a year or two and make loads of new friends there then go to Uni happy. I think if you stay like you are now you will get miserable in the time between now and Uni if you are not socialising a lot and may find it harder to make friends by the time you get to uni.
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    Me too!!!!!!

    I'm just waiting for uni.
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    I can see where your coming from but like forever_dreamer said you need to find a healthy balance between studying and socialising. Is there any particular reason why you don't like socialising with people from school? If you don't get on with certain people then I understand why your waiting for uni, to meet new people and start afresh, but yeh don't take studying too seriously have some fun too !!
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    If your a 'loner' now, then sadly the chances are that you will continue that trend in Uni.
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    Hmm same i feel like everyone else is goin out having fun even the clever ones.

    while i seem to never get invited to a night out or a party and is always stuck inside studying -.-
    Im not saying i dont have friends im one of those people who they will talk to but thats about it.

    lol maby im just a loner or a dont want to go out.

    im waiting for university for a fresh start maby .
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    I spent most of high school studying rather than partying- I just kinda decided early on that it was more important to get my grades for med school than get hammered. The key is to do stuff outwith school and push your comfort zone- if you go to uni open days, go alone and stay in halls of residence there if they let you etc, so you're forced to go meet new people. That's when you see the real you come out and I'm pleased to report from experience you'll probably surprise yourself!
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    i'm sort of in the same situation however im forced to be inside cos all my friends r on xbox live whoring halo3/gears of war 2 all day . The only time i ever get out is when i go to the gym.
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    (Original post by BabyGirl92)
    I'm a bit like that.. if I stay at 6th form for year 13 I won't have much of a social life because I don't have that many friends and I can just work really hard for one year and go to Uni and make loads of new friends.. or I can move to college for a year or two and make loads of new friends there then go to Uni happy. I think if you stay like you are now you will get miserable in the time between now and Uni if you are not socialising a lot and may find it harder to make friends by the time you get to uni.
    What makes you think a different college / uni will be any different.
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    Take it from someone experience (read: me), waiting is not a good idea. I did exactly what you're describing, and whilst it all turned out ok in the end, I still look back on my GCSE and college years and wish I had done a lot more socialising and gained a lot more experiences rather than sacrificing a large portion of my social life for my studies. It is the only regret I have in my life.

    Don't sacrifice one for the other, instead do what forever_dreamer said and find a balance between the two - you'll need to do that if you plan on socialising more at Uni anyway.
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    (Original post by ILoveOrangeJuice)
    I can see where your coming from but like forever_dreamer said you need to find a healthy balance between studying and socialising. Is there any particular reason why you don't like socialising with people from school? If you don't get on with certain people then I understand why your waiting for uni, to meet new people and start afresh, but yeh don't take studying too seriously have some fun too !!
    nothing stopping me from socialising, and im quite sure i could start to integrate more into groups that do go out
    its just that these groups have been established and i cant just worm my way into circles of friends, i have many friends that i do go out from time to time, i just dont socialise with people out of school much and being a boys school, meeting girls and stuff is what the other people are doing and going out etc. whilst my friends are different, i am an all round person, i hang out with pretty much everyone and get along with everyone

    im mainly putting my education first, because its very hard for me to get my A grades to get into uni without hard work!

    (Original post by Redefined)
    If your a 'loner' now, then sadly the chances are that you will continue that trend in Uni.
    highly generalised, i see what you mean, i might have come across a complete loner in my OP, but its not the case, im just not making the effort, and dont wish to at the moment

    there is an element of me not liking some of the people at my school, a lot of them do things i dont want to do and then i would get called a saddo, or loner or p***y for not joining in, so sometimes that is a problem, but there are plenty of people i could be going out with, its just hard to join their group because they are already so close, and adding another person is just easier if they invite me to things

    infact, i was part of a very good group of people who go out a lot and meet other people and go to clubs etc.
    but during gcse, i went my own way and didn't keep much contact with the, ,they were very clever and didn't need much work and most of them did exceptionally well at gcse whilst going out quite a lot
    since then i haven't hung around with them a lot and and thats cut me off from going out to clubs and stuff, because its easier when your friends go aswell... but, saying that, if i kept those friends tight and went out with them, i would have flopped my gcse's so badly, im not naturally clever like them and i need hard work


    hopefully i'll have a lot of confidence when i get to uni to socialise, im not sure if i have the confidence at the moment, im concentrating on my studies and sadly im working in the summer aswell! ... althought im going to actively make the effort to go out this summer on days im not working, i'll organise it because if i left it to others, i'll be sitting at home all day in the holidays

    i think i will wait until university, and if i am a loner at uni, then it smore a of problem!!
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    (Original post by Redefined)
    If your a 'loner' now, then sadly the chances are that you will continue that trend in Uni.
    this x 2

    alot of people seem to think that they can be a totally different person when they go to uni and turn into some super popular person, its very unlikely tbh
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    (Original post by Chiko 1001)
    I spent most of high school studying rather than partying- I just kinda decided early on that it was more important to get my grades for med school than get hammered. The key is to do stuff outwith school and push your comfort zone- if you go to uni open days, go alone and stay in halls of residence there if they let you etc, so you're forced to go meet new people. That's when you see the real you come out and I'm pleased to report from experience you'll probably surprise yourself!
    great advice, thanks!

    (Original post by Wenzel)
    Take it from someone experience (read: me), waiting is not a good idea. I did exactly what you're describing, and whilst it all turned out ok in the end, I still look back on my GCSE and college years and wish I had done a lot more socialising and gained a lot more experiences rather than sacrificing a large portion of my social life for my studies. It is the only regret I have in my life.

    Don't sacrifice one for the other, instead do what forever_dreamer said and find a balance between the two - you'll need to do that if you plan on socialising more at Uni anyway.
    i think i might regret it in future, but if my uni life is amazing because i go to my first choice (dream) uni, then i would rather work hard now and reap the benefits later

    from experience i am quite social, i have so much in common with people in general, i watch a lot of TV that others watch, i like to go and see films, i like popular music, i always have things to talk about when i see people randomly in the street that i know, and online i always have stuff to talk about
    its just a matter of putting this into practise at university, when im on my own is not a proble, its if im at the right uni for me and there are people i can relate to and enjoy hanging around with

    at school i feel people are your friends for what they can do for you, a lot of the time i see that one guy is friends with another guy because one is popular with the girls, similarly people are friends because they know you're nice and will give work to you anytime, or similarly you're friends because you're rich and have a lot of stuff people like more than they like the actual person!
    i hope at uni it's different, im on my own like everyone else and we're starting out new!
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    my theory is that you can go to uni and wipe the slate clean, start a'fresh, you know?
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    Same, when I go I want to completely change my image!
    And don't go calling me a fake!
    Because you're a penagina!
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    (Original post by dan_s91)
    this x 2

    alot of people seem to think that they can be a totally different person when they go to uni and turn into some super popular person, its very unlikely tbh
    but why?
    the only thing constraining me now from goign out a lot and making more friends, getting drunk etc. is that fact im determined to get into a good uni and my choice of uni, which requires all A's and is very competitive, so im trying to work hard

    is this wrong? should i aim lower and socialise more now?
    or is this right? should i aim high/to my capability and socialise with new and more people later?
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    (Original post by nikki-77)
    my theory is that you can go to uni and wipe the slate clean, start a'fresh, you know?
    i hear ya! and i want this to be the case
    wipe clean my unsocial self and be set freee!
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    (Original post by dan_s91)
    this x 2

    alot of people seem to think that they can be a totally different person when they go to uni and turn into some super popular person, its very unlikely tbh

    i disagree. my sis used to be an unsociable "loner" but when uni came around she turned into a party freak and is now a completely different person. I think lots of people "successfully" change when they get a fresh start at uni
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i hear ya! and i want this to be the case
    wipe clean my unsocial self and be set freee!
    yeh, although it depends where your going really, and if your stayin at home. if your livin in halls of residence, making new friends will become easier because your forced to. keep and open eye for new friends once september comes, alot of people will be in the same boat so dont turn your back on anyone looking a chat. try not to turn down nights out etc, and keep your bedroom door open on the first day! just get out there!
 
 
 
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