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Sad/Loner now - wait for uni? watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    but why?
    the only thing constraining me now from goign out a lot and making more friends, getting drunk etc. is that fact im determined to get into a good uni and my choice of uni, which requires all A's and is very competitive, so im trying to work hard

    is this wrong? should i aim lower and socialise more now?
    or is this right? should i aim high/to my capability and socialise with new and more people later?
    Is that just an excuse though?

    What happens when you have worked so hard to get to Uni, are you just going to relax then so you can socialise? I doubt it, and you'd be stupid to do so.

    I hope it works out for you, I do. But for it to work, you need to put work into it - hiding away and saying it is due to study isn't going to help.
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    (Original post by butthead7)
    i disagree. my sis used to be an unsociable "loner" but when uni came around she turned into a party freak and is now a completely different person. I think lots of people "successfully" change when they get a fresh start at uni
    I agree. Anyone can change from being a loner if they get themselves out there enough - depends on how much they want it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    im not a complete loner, i talk to a lot of people and i go out at least twice a month?! at school im quite sociable, but outside of school im not that much, i dont see many other people

    i feel im a bit sad compared to others in my year, who go out once a week and meet girls and get drunk (not bothered about that last bit!)

    am i quite sad for waiting to do all this at university, because im trying to work hard now and then really have fun at uni and be much more social

    do a lot of people do this? or are doing this now?

    basically, in short, i'm waitin for university to make lots of friends and go out etc. and right now i'm quite a sad person!
    (jam today, jam tomorrow? i.e. study now and be lonely, to have fun later at university)
    Mate you will be fine at uni :yes: It's a new start everyone is in the same boat and your willingess to have a good time will get you far, just remeber to study aswell. :p:
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    I said this at exactly this time last year. I feel that I am very satisfied with my social life, but nowhere near to the extent that I expected.

    It didn't come instantly, either. I was my reserved old self at first because it was a new experience for me. I also disliked clubbing this time last year. Now it's kind of an essential activity for me at least once a month.

    My advice would be to start going out a bit more before you get to uni: warm into it. Making friends will be fairly easy but it doesn't come without serious effort. If you put in a lot you will get out a lot and I probably couldn't ask for better uni friends. Good luck
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    You keep forgetting to anon yourself!

    Anyway, there's no point in doing what you're saying. I understand where you're coming from and why you think it's a good idea (I used to think the exact same way). But what do you plan to do at uni? Study less? Do you not want a first? The work isn't any easier than A levels, in fact it is harder in my opinion. You're better off getting used to balancing a social life with studies now, rather than waiting for university to start, it'll make life a lot easier. That's what I wish I did, even though I'm more than satisfied with my social life now and have some people who I think I'll be friends with for life, I still wish I had began earlier instead of waiting for university.
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    (Original post by Wenzel)
    You keep forgetting to anon yourself!

    Anyway, there's no point in doing what you're saying. I understand where you're coming from and why you think it's a good idea (I used to think the exact same way). But what do you plan to do at uni? Study less? Do you not want a first? The work isn't any easier than A levels, in fact it is harder in my opinion. You're better off getting used to balancing a social life with studies now, rather than waiting for university to start, it'll make life a lot easier. That's what I wish I did, even though I'm more than satisfied with my social life now and have some people who I think I'll be friends with for life, I still wish I had began earlier instead of waiting for university.
    woops..!

    this summer, maybe less, but definitly next summer im going to do as much as i possible can in terms of socialising pre-uni thats not the problem

    the problem is during the school term, i dont do as much as i would like to/people in my year do!

    im not against anything, if anything i enjoy clubbing, only been once in my life and loved it, i drink alcohol, not been drunk before (still testing my limits )

    i think from what people have said on this thread, i'll be ok, i worry too much
    i just want to know that i will for sure make good friends for life at uni, because at the moment its pretty much work or dont go to uni! and its not an excuse like someone above said, i take an extra subject in my spare time to try and secure an offer from my 'dream' uni! and otherwise i play tennis or am at school or doing school homework!
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    I really wasn't a social person before uni, but it didn't really get better til second year

    best advice I can give is find a club, or some kind of sport you'd enjoy and get involved with that, it's how I've made friends, that and being in halls
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    (Original post by LAL89)
    I really wasn't a social person before uni, but it didn't really get better til second year

    best advice I can give is find a club, or some kind of sport you'd enjoy and get involved with that, it's how I've made friends, that and being in halls
    yes, definitly, im planning to somehow live out all three years, if that means getting a flat in london, joingin halls of residence committee to guarantee 3 years halls, or going out of london then i will be doing that

    joining clubs will be a piece of cake, i play a sport near enough professionally, and there are many i would join at uni anyway
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    (Original post by JFJ)
    What makes you think a different college / uni will be any different.
    College would be different because I'd meet new people and make the effort to make friends.. not like 6th form when I didn't make the effort to make new friends cause I already had some and turns out they were **** friends anyway!
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    It's all well and good waiting for uni and a fresh start, but you've got to be proactive OP; make the effort and really put yourself out there!

    I guess club/societies would be a start
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    im not a complete loner, i talk to a lot of people and i go out at least twice a month?! at school im quite sociable, but outside of school im not that much, i dont see many other people

    i feel im a bit sad compared to others in my year, who go out once a week and meet girls and get drunk (not bothered about that last bit!)

    am i quite sad for waiting to do all this at university, because im trying to work hard now and then really have fun at uni and be much more social

    do a lot of people do this? or are doing this now?

    basically, in short, i'm waitin for university to make lots of friends and go out etc. and right now i'm quite a sad person!
    (jam today, jam tomorrow? i.e. study now and be lonely, to have fun later at university)
    I'm in the same situation as you (although, I'm going off to do post grad). I'm at home at the moment and am just going to work all summer and read up on my course. I have a couple of good friends, but I don't really like going out, mainly cos I'm trying to save up and don't really like the club scene here. I'm just getting exciting for Sept. Uni is good, but its what you make. You're not going to automatically make great friends and have loads of sex. You have to make an effort too.

    Just concentrate on your studies, although it seems like you have a pretty good social life. Try not to compare yourself with others. Everyone makes out they have more fun than they really do.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    im not a complete loner, i talk to a lot of people and i go out at least twice a month?! at school im quite sociable, but outside of school im not that much, i dont see many other people

    i feel im a bit sad compared to others in my year, who go out once a week and meet girls and get drunk (not bothered about that last bit!)

    am i quite sad for waiting to do all this at university, because im trying to work hard now and then really have fun at uni and be much more social

    do a lot of people do this? or are doing this now?

    basically, in short, i'm waitin for university to make lots of friends and go out etc. and right now i'm quite a sad person!
    (jam today, jam tomorrow? i.e. study now and be lonely, to have fun later at university)
    I was pretty much the same- then you realise you cant break old habits

    Uni make the best use of what you have
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    (Original post by dan_s91)
    this x 2

    alot of people seem to think that they can be a totally different person when they go to uni and turn into some super popular person, its very unlikely tbh
    yeh its true isnt it? i thought that but when push comes to shove...
 
 
 
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