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    (Original post by Yawn11)
    I dunno prefer one off's, just keeping it casual, really uncomfortable with anything more. Because obviously if I can get sex easily from a girl, I don't have any respect for her. Never bin in a serious relationship before, maybe it will be different then. But then again I'd already be attached, cause I'd never go out with a girl I can hit after a few days.
    Really why don have respect what if they really nice.
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    for me it depends on what the guy is like..i met a really good looking guy on a night out and he had a great personality,we had a 1night stand, but then texted each other quite often and sort of became f*** budies.. but then we sort of drifted apart n didnt txt anymore,i think i was starting to fall for him but knew he didnt feel the same,to him it was just casual sex..

    but then other guys ive got with when drunk i havent expected anything more than 1 night stands and havent felt any emotions towards them at all. i think it is to do with personalitys as guys ive got with have been really good looking but dont have great personalities so i wouldnt want anything more than 1night stands.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you expect a guy to be intrested after a one night stand/casual sex?


    Im wondering wheather like me people get automatically attached after having sex with somone new for the first time as I am find myself disappointed when after giving my self and having had sex,lads tend to just leave it therefore and dont intiate any friendship/relationship.
    Nah, thats the point of casual sex! I do feel bad for you though! :sad: It can be hard to read the other persons mind. I try and be clear about what I'm offering... I would hate to make girls feel like this.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you expect a guy to be intrested after a one night stand/casual sex?


    Im wondering wheather like me people get automatically attached after having sex with somone new for the first time as I am find myself disappointed when after giving my self and having had sex,lads tend to just leave it therefore and dont intiate any friendship/relationship.
    Sigh...

    You do not get attached after having sex with someone new; your feeling of satisfaction comes from the validation the sex brings. Your disappointment is not because your partner did not reciprocate emotionally; your disappointment comes from underlying issues concerning the inability to form meaningful and satisfying relationships.

    You have confidence issues, and use sex to validate your own self-worth; a depressive gains a sense of satisfaction from knowing they are depressed. Your problem is not the fact you connected the physical to the psychological but the fact you fail to appreciate that the two are not connected at all when it comes to casual sex. You did not give this man anything he did not reciprocate. Unconsciously, you wanted sex with a partner (who respects and loves you) but used casual sex to stimulate the same sort of psychological response you would receive from a relationship, knowing you would inevitably fail to receive this, and thus validating your resentment towards yourself.

    It is you who is failing to initiate relationships properly.
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    (Original post by evantej)
    Sigh...

    You do not get attached after having sex with someone new; your feeling of satisfaction comes from the validation the sex brings. Your disappointment is not because your partner did not reciprocate emotionally; your disappointment comes from underlying issues concerning the inability to form meaningful and satisfying relationships.

    You have confidence issues, and use sex to validate your own self-worth; a depressive gains a sense of satisfaction from knowing they are depressed. Your problem is not the fact you connected the physical to the psychological but the fact you fail to appreciate that the two are not connected at all when it comes to casual sex. You did not give this man anything he did not reciprocate. Unconsciously, you wanted sex with a partner (who respects and loves you) but used casual sex to stimulate the same sort of psychological response you would receive from a relationship, knowing you would inevitably fail to receive this, and thus validating your resentment towards yourself.

    It is you who is failing to initiate relationships properly.
    I am failing to initate relationships properly, are you suggesting that having sex with them wouldnt be appropraite? what are you saying. How can I intiate further relationships? Obviously to have sex with someone you are atracted to them
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    If you put out on the first night, what is there to work for?

    A girl who puts out on the first night is a girl too easy in my opinion, and I wouldn't feel compelled to try and ignite a relationship with her.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    for me it depends on what the guy is like..i met a really good looking guy on a night out and he had a great personality,we had a 1night stand, but then texted each other quite often and sort of became f*** budies.. but then we sort of drifted apart n didnt txt anymore,i think i was starting to fall for him but knew he didnt feel the same,to him it was just casual sex..

    but then other guys ive got with when drunk i havent expected anything more than 1 night stands and havent felt any emotions towards them at all. i think it is to do with personalitys as guys ive got with have been really good looking but dont have great personalities so i wouldnt want anything more than 1night stands.
    Yea he is very attractive and good looking tend to be. Thats why it happens lol
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    Suppose thats true however its just one of those things tha happens really its not planned. I would not plan to have a one night stand although lads may but that wouldnt be my cup of tea. You expect to at least get to know new people. Its different meeting somone in a club on a night out.
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    (Original post by addylad)
    The thread title reminds me of when I had sex and accidentally used No More Nails instead of lube.
    I read the last part of that sentence and my soldier shrivelled up.
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    (Original post by snipex)
    I read the last part of that sentence and my soldier shrivelled up.
    You think yours was shrivelled?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am failing to initate relationships properly, are you suggesting that having sex with them wouldnt be appropraite? what are you saying. How can I intiate further relationships? Obviously to have sex with someone you are atracted to them
    I am not saying that casual sex is inappropriate; it is useful to those who are prepared to accept what it entails: positive and negative. But you fail to accept that. You will never get an emotional response from a one-night stand because of the limitations of casual sex itself: it is based completely on physical appearance, and generally a one-off.

    Why do you expect a friendship or relationship to come from casual sex? Or more importantly - why do you get upset when there is no emotional reciprocation? Do you think because you slept (“gave yourself”) with someone you are entitled to more than just sex? If so stop sleeping around. Would I enter into a relationship then moan that my girlfriend does not let me sleep around? No. I accept what a relationship entails: positive and negative.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Really why don have respect what if they really nice.
    Cause they're easy making them ****s lmao
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    Well maybe there's a difference between sleeping together on the night you first see each other, and meeting up say 3 or 4 times (I think that's what I did) then doing so, as you already start to get an idea what the other person is, yet the proper spark is still there.
 
 
 
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