The Student Room Group

How does a homosexual know when they have lost their virginity?

Please do not laugh I am bein serious!

I really do not know how a gay man or a lesbian will know if they have lost they virginity.

Cos think about is penetrating a man loosing your virginity or being penetrated loosing it? So supposing there were two gay virgin men having sex and one was being penetrated and they didnt get the chance to return the favour...who truely lost their virginity????

Lesbians just bloody confuse me...what do they have to do?!?!

I am sorry the answers to these questions are not obvious to me, I'm just curious :o:

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
If it counts as sex in your mind, then you're not a virgin.
Strap-on!
Hmm im not sure about it being just in your mind...some people have very strage ideas about exactly what contitutes sex.
Its questions like these that bring up further questions like....why does it matter?
Reply 4
i think it's sort of the same as heterosexuals

like ok first time i did it, the whole thing was in there but it was like really quick and i dunno... i just didnt feel like i "lost my virginity" or whatever at that point

i mean i just think for me there's a point in my life where i was clearly a virgin and a point where i was clearly not and there's more of a certain period of time in between those points as opposed to some "event" and i guess maybe that's the same for homosexuals, at least dykes anyway.

i dunno wtf what im talking about here
Reply 5
Definitions of sex vary from person to person. A straight girl might have anal sex and consider herself not a virgin even if she hasn't had actual intercourse (which would be a bit weird but you get my drift).

Similarly, a gay guy might think of being penetrated as the definition of losing virginity, another might think penetrating a guy counts. As a lesbian I view full-frontal nudity during sexy times to be tantamount to losing my virginity, whatever actually happens. To me its about being completely trusting with a girl and allowing myself to be completely vulnerable around her.
Reply 6
Bit of a paradox rly. Hetero friends of mine indulge in anal sex with their gf's before losing their virginities, they don't think anal counts as 'sex'.

Furthermore, figures show that members of the Christian abstinence group 'the Silver Ring Thing' infact have anal sex as youngsters before getting married and having what they consider as 'sex' for the first time.
Reply 7
Rocious
i think it's sort of the same as heterosexuals

like ok first time i did it, the whole thing was in there but it was like really quick and i dunno... i just didnt feel like i "lost my virginity" or whatever at that point

i mean i just think for me there's a point in my life where i was clearly a virgin and a point where i was clearly not and there's more of a certain period of time in between those points as opposed to some "event" and i guess maybe that's the same for homosexuals, at least dykes anyway.

i dunno wtf what im talking about here


I don't think it's the same for heterosexuals at all.

In hetero relationships, it's the penetration which counts as losing your virginity. Lots of gay men and women choose not to have penetretive sex, but still engage in plenty of other sexual activities, so it would be silly to call them virgins.

That's why I said whatever counts in your own mind. It doesn't really matter whether other people agree with what you think.
Taking a stab in the dark here (excuse the pun), but could it be when one has had sex?
Gay men tend to have a sore arse as an indicator of lost virginity.
Reply 10
tom_pinnock54
Taking a stab in the dark here (excuse the pun), but could it be when one has had sex?


I think the real question was about what "counts" as sex in a same-sex relationship.
Spanghew
I think the real question was about what "counts" as sex in a same-sex relationship.


cock up the bum
Reply 12
Spanghew
If it counts as sex in your mind, then you're not a virgin.


This :smile: x

+rep x
Reply 13
Spanghew
I don't think it's the same for heterosexuals at all.

In hetero relationships, it's the penetration which counts as losing your virginity. Lots of gay men and women choose not to have penetretive sex, but still engage in plenty of other sexual activities, so it would be silly to call them virgins.

That's why I said whatever counts in your own mind. It doesn't really matter whether other people agree with what you think.


Surely either way...if you get penetrated or penetrate in a hetero or homo relationship...then you have lost your virginity...

A woman can't penetrate a man....so does that mean they haven't lost their virginity? no. LOL, this thread is funny.
Reply 14
Pezza18
Surely either way...if you get penetrated or penetrate in a hetero or homo relationship...then you have lost your virginity...

A woman can't penetrate a man....so does that mean they haven't lost their virginity? no. LOL, this thread is funny.


A woman can't penetrate a man, but the being penetrated is what usually counts as her losing her virginity in a hetero relationship.

And you can't apply the same penetration rule to same-sex couples, because plenty of gay men and lesbians choose not to have any form of penetration.
When your sphincter breaks.
Spanghew
A woman can't penetrate a man, but the being penetrated is what usually counts as her losing her virginity in a hetero relationship.

And you can't apply the same penetration rule to same-sex couples, because plenty of gay men and lesbians choose not to have any form of penetration.


Well, if you don't have vaginal or anal intercourse, you don't lose your V do you? What was the question again? -
BossManSingh
When your sphincter breaks.


What an attractive and pleasant thought...
Reply 18
Rocious


like ok first time i did it, the whole thing was in there but it was like really quick and i dunno...
i dunno wtf what im talking about here

This made me laugh. :smile:
Reply 19
tom_pinnock54
Well, if you don't have vaginal or anal intercourse, you don't lose your V do you? What was the question again? -


..... this was the whole point of the question. S/he was asking when it does count as "losing your V", if you can't apply the same rules about anal/vaginal penetration.

Are all lesbians virgins unless they've slept with a man?