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Worried about my boyfriend's weight. :( watch

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    Hi everybody,

    Basically, my boyfriend is 19 years old, 5' 8" and weighs a mere 7 and a half stone. He's ridiculously thin and knows he's very underweight, yet he seems to make no effort to put on weight. His BMI is 16.

    He's also the fussiest eater in the world, which doesn't help. He won't touch vegetables, seafood, legumes, or anything new for that matter. When I tried making him spaghetti with tomatoes and bacon he had one bite, nearly vomited and refused to touch the rest. (It's the tomato he hated) He survives on bread, cheese and junk food. When we're together I try to get him eat twice a day, but most of the time he gets mad at me and says he's not hungry. And if he does agree, all it ends up being is fried foods with bread (sausages or bacon). He'll eat fruit, but only if I buy it for him.

    The sad thing is that when he's back at home he'll barely eat again. Sometimes he'll just eat a portion of chips for the entire day. He drinks fizzy drinks all day, and when I told him to cut back a bit he practically threw a tantrum. His theory is that if it tastes good, that's all he'll eat. He told me he's had eating problems in the past and he's ended up going to hospital, and he says he has a disorder now. He won't go to the doctor's about it, and doesn't want me to do anything about it.

    It's the one thing we argue about and I'm just worried about him. I don't really know what else to try.

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    Sounds like manorexia. You need to get him to the doctors one way or another. 16 as a BMI is REALLY unhealthy.
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    manorexia sounds about right
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    You should try to get him to a doctors.
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    He sounds like my bf
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    Do you think he really does suffer from "manorexia" then? He told me his eating disorder isn't about wanting to lose weight, but rather, the "sickness" he feels when eating different foods. I'll try and convince him to go to the doctor one way or other, whatever it is.
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    sounds like a ******* child tbh.

    Ok, Thats a bit harsh considering it could very well be an eating disorder, but the thing with mental issues is that they can only be solved if the person wants to solve it, the fact that he doesnt want to, and pulls a tantrum at the tought of eating anything good for him just sounds like a 9 year old wanting dessert before the main course
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you think he really does suffer from "manorexia" then? He told me his eating disorder isn't about wanting to lose weight, but rather, the "sickness" he feels when eating different foods. I'll try and convince him to go to the doctor one way or other, whatever it is.
    No, he doesn't.
    He probably doesn't have an eating disorder either.
    He has a problem, but I don't know what it is.

    Is he taking any vitamins? He really should be.
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    Manorexia. Tell his parents and get clinical intervention if he refuses to eat.
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    Well fizzy drinks are full of sugar ... and if he drinks them ALL DAY?

    I overload on food. I stuff my plate with meat, have fizzy drinks atleast once a day, have sugary stuff (cookies etc), do almost no physical excercise, but until a few months ago i used to have a BMI under 20 (it's 20.6 now). I think i'm "blessed" with a quick metabolism.. I can't stand onions either :awesome: I'm 5'8 and weigh 66 kilos or something (only 16).

    I went through a phase where i didn't really feel hungry and i didn't eat much. For me personally, the first meal after a few days of basically starving is the hardest because you don't feel that hungry. After that it becomes easier and easier to eat more and more (until you start overloading like me :p: ). I'd start ramping up the size of his meals (slowly but surely) if you can manage that :unsure:
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    i thought he was going to be like me and eat everything in sight and not gain any weight. you should really get him to go to the docs
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    (Original post by AnonyMatt)
    No, he doesn't.
    He probably doesn't have an eating disorder either.
    He has a problem, but I don't know what it is.

    Is he taking any vitamins? He really should be.
    I doubt he has anorexia because he knows he's thin. He refuses to go to a doctor because "they couldn't help me then, they won't help me now. No one can talk me into eating foods I don't like."

    And nope, no vitamins either. ¬¬ He can't swallow tablets.

    My only option is to just convince him to take liquid vitamin supplements.

    Thanks everyone for the advice.
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    Feed him Lots and lots of Cookie Dough I wish my BMI was 16!

    It's 25.7 and Rising, It's a good job I don't really care actually.
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    Call up Freaky Eaters.
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    Hi, I felt I should reply as I have had a similar experience.

    When I first met my boyfriend he was fairly underweight (not as much as yours, but still rather skinny) and would only eat white bread, breaded chicken (nuggets, dippers etc), pizza, chips (and similar fried potato), cheese and occasionally mash. No veg, no fruit, no beef, or pork or turkey or fish. It was ridiculous. He also only seemed to eat max two meals a day. Often 4 slices buttered toast for breakfast and then a plate of junkfood for tea. He too was against trying new foods, and wouldn't let me push him.

    I put up with this for about a year. It was awful as I love food, love cooking, and have a really varied diet and was very worried about his health. I talked to him though and he said it kinda stemmed from being a picky eater as a child and then his parents gave up on making him try new things. After so many years of not being made to try anything new, he was genuinely fearful of new foods.

    Think of something that terrifies you, like heights. That feeling you get in your stomach. The tingly fingers. The lightheadedness. The nervousness, anxious trepidation that you will have to do something you are **** scared of.

    That is how your boyfriend feels when you put something new in front of him. That's how my boyfriend explained it to me so that I could understand. Everytime he tried to try something new thats how he felt. If he knew he would be going out for a meal in the evening, that feeling would start in the morning, getting worse throughout the day. If he put a new food in his mouth, he would often be physically sick, not because he didn't like the flavour but because he'd worked himself up so much.

    Imagine having to feel like that 3 times a day. Its awful and such a shame.

    Eventually though, he decided that he wanted to try and get better, if I would support him and understand his limitations. I said of course.

    The first step you have to understand is most 'healthy' and 'normal' food tastes rubbish to them. This is because their diet of what they call 'tasty' food is heavily laden with salt, sugar and fat. They will have withdrawal from this for between 2-4 weeks until their tongue relatively 'resets' itself and finds things more palatable. They may want to add salt to 'normal' foods in order to eat them at first. This is ok. Its less salt that they are used to eating anyway.

    Take it slow, don't push, understand their limitations and remember the fear they are feeling. Find a chewable vitamin (Bassets chewable ones taste like gummy sweets), replace fizzy drinks with squash, and try and start with foods that aren't so far removed from what they already eat. E.g. make homemade potato wedges instead of chips, or homemade pizza, or chicken goujons. Use strong flavourings such as garlic, chilli, spices, vinegar as this is what their tongue is used to.

    Don't be put off. My boyfriend thought he hated beef. He didn't. He hated mince and still does, but he loves steak. So don't be worried if your bf won't eat chicken one way, because he might another way, just like people who eat 'normally' have preferences.

    Don't try and throw a plate of veggies at him. Start with first expanding the range of meat, fish and carbs he eats. Replace chips with pasta and so on. Then, after a while, move on to 'safe' common veg such as peas and carrots.

    This process can take ages, and generally goes through waves. If you make progress one week, don't push it for a couple of weeks. Let the new foods settle into your diet before trying to try anything new. Make sure you also try new foods. I was adamant I didn't like mushrooms. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, and I went to tolerating them, to loving them. Don't expect him to like everything you like, or the way you like it and buy foods that you both might not like to try. Try and eat out more often, building up from once a month. Generally people who are this faddy don't eat for pleasure but eat for fuel, and need to learn to enjoy food again even if it isn't healthy (learning they like chocolate fudge cake is still a new taste even if you wouldn't eat it everyday).

    Good luck, take it slow. If you can get help from the NHS, great, but I'm not sure how much it exists. 5 years on, my boyfriend now eats a much more varied diet though still doesn't like fruit all that much, but eats a fair amount of veggies, and eats lots of different meats and 'normal' dishes. He is also now 2-3 stones heavier and looks much healthier! It can happen, but don't expect it to happen quickly. Hope I've helped, and if you have any questions, do ask.
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    That's too skinny!

    People call me skinny because I'm 10.7stones and 6'0"!!!
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    Obviously he has a very unhealthy attitude to food; surving on 'bread, cheese and junk food' is not good. Talk to him, convince him to go to the doctors, and see if they can refer him to a councellor or something.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi everybody,

    Basically, my boyfriend is 19 years old, 5' 8" and weighs a mere 7 and a half stone. He's ridiculously thin and knows he's very underweight, yet he seems to make no effort to put on weight. His BMI is 16.

    He's also the fussiest eater in the world, which doesn't help. He won't touch vegetables, seafood, legumes, or anything new for that matter. When I tried making him spaghetti with tomatoes and bacon he had one bite, nearly vomited and refused to touch the rest. (It's the tomato he hated) He survives on bread, cheese and junk food. When we're together I try to get him eat twice a day, but most of the time he gets mad at me and says he's not hungry. And if he does agree, all it ends up being is fried foods with bread (sausages or bacon). He'll eat fruit, but only if I buy it for him.

    The sad thing is that when he's back at home he'll barely eat again. Sometimes he'll just eat a portion of chips for the entire day. He drinks fizzy drinks all day, and when I told him to cut back a bit he practically threw a tantrum. His theory is that if it tastes good, that's all he'll eat. He told me he's had eating problems in the past and he's ended up going to hospital, and he says he has a disorder now. He won't go to the doctor's about it, and doesn't want me to do anything about it.

    It's the one thing we argue about and I'm just worried about him. I don't really know what else to try.

    I was going to say that he has been allowed to refuse food by his parents as he was growing up, until I read the part that says the bit about him nearly throwing up after he tried your food....I"m not knocking your cooking. So taking on board that, I really do think he has a food phobia. He needs to unlock his feelings about food and why he is nearly sick when he tries something new to eat. I know nothing about eating disorders but I do feel that he still has one TBH.

    Hope you can help him
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    Wasn't there a BBC 3 show called 'freaky eaters' or something where they got people who wouldn't eat anything and made them using various psychological techniques? You should get him on that show. He'd change if he knew the nation was watching.


    If not - get him to at least talk to a doctor. Or maybe even a school nurse?
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    A BMI of below 17 is one of the diagnostic criteria for anorexia nervosa. The other criteria are a fear of gaining weight and a distorted body image ( i.e he thinks he is fat when he is thin ) and behaviours that involve calorie restriction e.g vomiting, exercising alot etc. Of course the differential diagnosis includes any cause of weight loss from stress to cancer! Bottom line he needs to see a doctor asap. Hope it works out
 
 
 
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