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    Pleassee keep anon or delete.

    I'm 19, and never had a boyfriend. Before you write this of as 'one of those' posts, please hear me out.

    I know where I am going wrong- I don't really like going out, have the tendancy to shut myself away a little too much (especially at uni), not very attractive, a litle on the fat side yadda yada yadda.

    Part of me is like 'I really don't have time for a bf right now, 'I've got a 1st to get in my degree', but sometimes it does get me down a bit, especially when relatives bring up the eternal quation of 'soooo...do you have a beau yet...awww...why not?' And I think I'd quite like to experience what it feels like but at the same time I don't, I think I would be embarrased to admit I did have a bf, if I ever did have one, especially to my family.

    I know loads of people are older than me and have never had a relationship and people on TSR say 'nooo, you're not weird' but...in my eyes, I kinda am, yet I do nothing to change it.

    Part of me I think is scared to get into a relationship and any guys that have even come slightly close to even suggesting a relationsip, I get scared and run a mile or ignore their texts etc.

    Sorry for such a random, rambling rant. I just wanted to get it out of my system.
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    Honestly, it is pretty weird in my eyes to have not had any form of relationship by 19. It sounds like you've gotten scared of it though, maybe next time some guy shows any interest try get a bit closer to him. Talk to him about it, confide this in him and see how he copes. If he runs a mile then he isnt the one for you but if he sticks around and supports you how he should then Id say go for it?
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    Head up. You will meet someone when you least expect it, and are not looking. Have you thought about joining a society?

    PM me if you fancy a chat, I'm quite good with this kind of thing.
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    I don't know if you're looking for advice but I am going to give you some anyways

    Firstly, you say that you don't consider yourself attractive - there is nothing you can really do about genetics BUT if you are a little on the chubby side and not happy about it it would be good for you to lose some weight and do some excercise. I don't know if you have the money or are somewhere where you can excercise outside but excercise if good for fitness and self esteem. Then once you've lost some weight and what not just start looking after yourself more. Don't tell yourself you aren't attractive, I know it's cliched but confidence really does get you quite far.

    Do you think you're scared of a relationship because of your lack of experience? Do you think that might put boys off?

    Maybe if you don't have much time you could just look for a casual relationship where you wouldn't have to be totally committed to spending loads of time with them.

    I think the key is more self esteem though. Obviously I don't know you but it sounds as though you put a lot of pressure on yourself (the working for a 1st which is obviously a good thing but I imagine it can also make you stressed and unhappy) and that you also don't consider yourself good enough for a relationship which is why you get scared when someone gets close to you.

    Do what makes you happy. If you think working hard and getting a first will make you happy and you really don't feel you could balance that with a more active social life then carry on as you are. You're the one who's in control though.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Pleassee keep anon or delete.

    I'm 19, and never had a boyfriend. Before you write this of as 'one of those' posts, please hear me out.

    I know where I am going wrong- I don't really like going out, have the tendancy to shut myself away a little too much (especially at uni), not very attractive, a litle on the fat side yadda yada yadda.

    Part of me is like 'I really don't have time for a bf right now, 'I've got a 1st to get in my degree', but sometimes it does get me down a bit, especially when relatives bring up the eternal quation of 'soooo...do you have a beau yet...awww...why not?' And I think I'd quite like to experience what it feels like but at the same time I don't, I think I would be embarrased to admit I did have a bf, if I ever did have one, especially to my family.

    I know loads of people are older than me and have never had a relationship and people on TSR say 'nooo, you're not weird' but...in my eyes, I kinda am, yet I do nothing to change it.

    Part of me I think is scared to get into a relationship and any guys that have even come slightly close to even suggesting a relationsip, I get scared and run a mile or ignore their texts etc.

    Sorry for such a random, rambling rant. I just wanted to get it out of my system.
    yeah I know what you mean there. You shouldn't be forced into having a boyfriend. Have a relationship when YOU want a relationship.
 
 
 
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