boyfriend chooses exercise over me

hey guys. basically my boyfriend and i are long distance. he works very long hours atm so only has a short period of time where he can talk to me properly like on the phone or msn before he goes to sleep. i'm not a very demanding girlfriend but i'd like to have a proper conversation at least a couple of times a week rather than just survive on a few quick texts that he manages to sneak while he's at work. i understand that in this time he also has to catch up with friends and family and generally just chill. so please don't make me out to be clingy because i'm NOT and i don't need to talk to him constantly.

but alot of the time, he chooses to exercise for a couple of hours before he goes to bed. occasionally he will call me for the first time in a week for five minutes then say he has to go because he HAS to exercise :confused:

when i say he doesn't HAVE to, he gets annoyed and says he does.

i'm going on holiday at the weekend. and i asked him to occasionally check facebook while im away so we can send messages on there. i'm away for two weeks and would like a bit of contact with him in that time. and his response was weeell. i'll try. but you know, i'm in work all day then i'll need to exercise when i get back. as if exercise takes priority over his girlfriend?? surely he should WANT to talk to me sometimes because, oh you know, he might actually miss his girlfriend? men :mad:

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Reply 1

watermelon sugar

er what the hell, you really need to talk to him about that. possibly in person? how often do you get to see each other?

Reply 2

BillV3

Are you sure he doesn't use 'exercise' as a sort of euphemism?

Reply 3

inksplodge

Unhealthy obsession? Lol.

Reply 4

Singh_2

Is your boyfriend Adonis by any chance?

Reply 5

Missmeem

My boyfriend chooses to relax at home after work instead of even suggesting i go see him at home. I've gotten used to it. It's a man thing.

Reply 6

voudreau

Anonymous

so please don't make me out to be clingy because i'm NOT and i don't need to talk to him constantly.

Ok chill, no one is accusing you :p:

Talk to him about it. You should be pretty high up on his list of priorities and Im sure he could skip his workout once in a while to talk to you.

If he doesn't listen then maybe you are better off with someone that values your company and time?

Reply 7

unikq

Singh_2

Is your boyfriend Adonis by any chance?

this.

Reply 8

hermy

Singh_2

Is your boyfriend Adonis by any chance?

lols soooooooo true.....freaky veiny arms arghhhhhhhhh!!!!

Reply 9

Chumbaniya

Smart priorities. In the long term, exercise is much better for you than a relationship.

Reply 10

Yawn11

Your mut be bad in bed

Reply 11

mrselfdestruct

at the end of the day guys can be just as insecure about their bodies as women, he could have a personal goal to become an ideal weight.

On the other hand, has he ever heard of hands free?

Reply 12

Philosoraptor

Singh_2

Is your boyfriend Adonis by any chance?

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

lol he is pretty built, which i can't say i mind :P but it does annoy me that he has this thing that he HAS to exercise every night. i don't see him very often atm, haven't seen him for a month and won't see him for another month. but in september we'll be together all the time and i think he's taking me for granted because he knows we'll be together whenever we want soon.

he's an otherwise generally lovely boyfriend, especially when we're together. when we're not together he gets caught up in other things such as work and exercise. i know he will message me when i'm on holiday and i know they'll be nice, long messages. but it pisses me off that he would even think that exercising takes priority over me every single time.

Reply 14

Laurahhz

he could possibly think that him saying that he is exercising may make you think that that's a good thing, and want you to think he's 'improving his looks' or whatever. he may just be trying to impress you..

Reply 15

Tombola

Just a guy habit.
When it comes to the crunch. He'd rather be with you.

Just don't ever ask him: If you had to give up one which would it be. >.>

Reply 16

Georgiahoneybee

To be honest, I can see why you would be annoyed! Especially when its a LDR, I think its really important to make time to talk. You don't sound clingy at all, and I understand what you're saying- you just want him to choose to talk to you sometimes, not always, but if talking to you means he spends half an hour less exercising then I don't think you're being unreasonable asking him to do so.
How have you tried bringing the subject up? Obviously if you go in all guns blazing (not that I'm saying you do) he'll get defensive. Just explain you're finding it hard enough having a LDR and you appreciate you'll be together come September but until then you'd appreciate him making more of an effort to talk to you. Discuss it calmly and hopfully he'll start to see where you're coming from!

Reply 17

Malkmus

He sounds like a prick. It's not like he's going to spontaneously combust if he gets to the gym 30 minutes later, once or twice a week, because he's been on the phone to you. Tell him that.

Reply 18

tom//

you said yourself he works long hours

people like to unwind in different ways, his is probably exercising, let him do it without feeling guilty

Reply 19

Impreza18

I think you should leave him to it. Fair enough if he wants a better body. It has so many benefits. More attaractive to girls, better strength, more confidence, longer life expectancy etc etc. Its a good thing to get into, or would you rather him smoke some weed in his free time, whilst eating junk and getting a gut on him?