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    (Original post by TheWoodsman)
    keep your chin up and although it may take a few numptys to cause paranoia, it only takes one special guy to bring everything back up to normal.
    If i ever find one :-(
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    its not a rush.
    be yourself and a certain guy will love you for you!
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    (Original post by TheWoodsman)
    keep your chin up and although it may take a few numptys to cause paranoia, it only takes one special guy to bring everything back up to normal.
    This. And really I'm sure many people can be insecure and paranoid in relationships... but it's sometimes better to be slightly on the weary side because people can be serious jerks. I think with some people you just know you can trust them... hmm but I don't know, I am the same.
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    you're totally right in how you feel OP

    i can fully relate, i am drastically paranoid

    being treated poorly in past relationships makes you well paranoid

    ermm, i wish i wasn't and i'm working on it but i just wanted to say that youre not on your own there

    i struggle with feeling that my relationship is as valid as the next persons and i feel guilty when i worry that other girls are getting a better time and feel more wanted than me

    not good and i wanna get better but yeah, youre not alone
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    (Original post by laurakate1988)
    you're totally right in how you feel OP

    i can fully relate, i am drastically paranoid

    being treated poorly in past relationships makes you well paranoid

    ermm, i wish i wasn't and i'm working on it but i just wanted to say that youre not on your own there

    i struggle with feeling that my relationship is as valid as the next persons and i feel guilty when i worry that other girls are getting a better time and feel more wanted than me

    not good and i wanna get better but yeah, youre not alone
    What do you mean im totally right in how i feel? amke it sound like i should feel how i feel lol

    Its a curse, its horrible. I don't know if you get this too, but it makes me feel really uneasy and unable to relax, im very self conscious about my actions and what i say.

    What are you doing to try and stop?
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    #1

    anyone else?
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    #1

    please?
    • #4
    #4

    STOP!

    Listen OP, this is exactly how I am with my boyfriend and it has hurt me so much inside. Even when he hasn't even done anything, I get completely paranoid that i'm not good enough, if he doesnt reply to texts quickly i think that he is bored of me or is texting another girl who is more interesting. I'll then sit around the whole day unable to focus on anything because i'm feeling like such a boring, ugly person etc... then he sends a text back saying his battery was running low. Then i feel like an idiot.

    This way of thinking will do you no good, its brought me nothing but agony over things that have only happened in my head. I still feel like this but im fighting it. And the harder and longer you fight it, the easier it will get to block out, as well as help your relationship.

    - Try doing other things outside of the relationship (hobbies, gym, etc), it will keep you busy, give you a better social life and stop you from sitting around worrying.

    - Focus on YOU. Do things to make yourself look and feel better, when you feel more confident in your own skin, you will start caring less about all these insecurities and you'll feel much better about yourself by realising that yes, you ARE good enough. He's lucky to be with you as much as youre lucky to be with him. It will also improve his impression of you too, he will see youre looking after yourself and becoming more confident and that's very attractive to guys.

    - Hang around with friends / make more friends, trust me, getting a social life outside of the relationship does you wonders. Youll have less time to think and more time to enjoy yourself, you'll feel more confident and realise that you are worth it.

    I've been doing these things and let me tell you, theyve worked for me so far. Whenever i start feeling scared or paranoid or not good enough, i remind myself that i'm likable, i have friends and people to be with, i look after my appearence, i have my own life... and he's with me for a reason. If he didnt want me he wouldnt still be here.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    STOP!

    Listen OP, this is exactly how I am with my boyfriend and it has hurt me so much inside. Even when he hasn't even done anything, I get completely paranoid that i'm not good enough, if he doesnt reply to texts quickly i think that he is bored of me or is texting another girl who is more interesting. I'll then sit around the whole day unable to focus on anything because i'm feeling like such a boring, ugly person etc... then he sends a text back saying his battery was running low. Then i feel like an idiot.

    This way of thinking will do you no good, its brought me nothing but agony over things that have only happened in my head. I still feel like this but im fighting it. And the harder and longer you fight it, the easier it will get to block out, as well as help your relationship.

    - Try doing other things outside of the relationship (hobbies, gym, etc), it will keep you busy, give you a better social life and stop you from sitting around worrying.

    - Focus on YOU. Do things to make yourself look and feel better, when you feel more confident in your own skin, you will start caring less about all these insecurities and you'll feel much better about yourself by realising that yes, you ARE good enough. He's lucky to be with you as much as youre lucky to be with him. It will also improve his impression of you too, he will see youre looking after yourself and becoming more confident and that's very attractive to guys.

    - Hang around with friends / make more friends, trust me, getting a social life outside of the relationship does you wonders. Youll have less time to think and more time to enjoy yourself, you'll feel more confident and realise that you are worth it.

    I've been doing these things and let me tell you, theyve worked for me so far. Whenever i start feeling scared or paranoid or not good enough, i remind myself that i'm likable, i have friends and people to be with, i look after my appearence, i have my own life... and he's with me for a reason. If he didnt want me he wouldnt still be here.
    thank :-) that was very helpful. I would rep you
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    Yeah, she's absolutely right. You have to just sort of mentally shake yourself and think, why would he stick around if he thought HALF the terrible things I think about myself?
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    (Original post by christinaxx)
    Yeah, she's absolutely right. You have to just sort of mentally shake yourself and think, why would he stick around if he thought HALF the terrible things I think about myself?
    he didn't stick around, i got dumped.
    It's kind of strange... ultimately me being insecure/paranoid/questioning because i worry people arn't into me or happy with me is the reason people arn't happy wih me and then dump me. Talk about self fulling prophecy!
    In a way it makes things worse, its sort of proof that my paranoia wasn't just paranoia, making me more likely to believe paranoia thoughts. I guess i just got to remember, its only the insecurities that puts people off me
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    he didn't stick around, i got dumped.
    It's kind of strange... ultimately me being insecure/paranoid/questioning because i worry people arn't into me or happy with me is the reason people arn't happy wih me and then dump me. Talk about self fulling prophecy!
    In a way it makes things worse, its sort of proof that my paranoia wasn't just paranoia, making me more likely to believe paranoia thoughts. I guess i just got to remember, its only the insecurities that puts people off me
    I'm so sorry hun!

    But don't let this keep you down, first you have to better yourself and find your own self worth (by improving your self esteem and then confidence) before you can fully move on to another without these things happening all over again.

    Look at it this way, you're single now. This is your chance to work on YOU. You'll meet another guy, a good guy who deserves you and when that happens you wont have all these thoughts hurting you when you're with him.

    :console:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm so sorry hun!

    But don't let this keep you down, first you have to better yourself and find your own self worth (by improving your self esteem and then confidence) before you can fully move on to another without these things happening all over again.

    Look at it this way, you're single now. This is your chance to work on YOU. You'll meet another guy, a good guy who deserves you and when that happens you wont have all these thoughts hurting you when you're with him.

    :console:
    aww thanks :-) would rep you but your anon lol
    • #5
    #5

    I find that improving ones self esteem and confidence after a breakup the hardest
 
 
 
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