Was I too clingy?

Well I recently broke up with my girlfriend and it's been quite hard to get over her but I think slowly I am and now I'm at a stage where I'm thinking about how I was in the relationship. This was my first which obviously didn't make it any easier and throughout I thought that I was a bit clingy but I don't know just how much (nothing to compare it to) so I was wondering how you guys would feel if say your girlfriend or boyfriend were like me.

So, basically, I usually texted her maybe once or twice a day unless we began a proper conversation texting each other. I don't think that's a lot to be honest but some people do so I was wondering what some other people thought about it. We saw each other only maybe once a week yet we lived 5-10 minutes away from each other (I did want to see her more though) and we didn't really used to call much.

The problem of the relationship was that it was getting very one-sided. I felt like I was putting in all the effort and that wasn't a good feeling. I did try to relax more and let her come to me but it was hard to because I was afraid of finding out she wouldn't. In the end, I did try it for a while and she pretty much didn't really come to me so for me that was a sign she didn't care as much. However, I'm worried that what I wanted was too much and that this will not be a good trait to have whilst in a relationship.

Reply 1

forever_dreamer

I've heard of a lot clingier (yes, i know that's not a word). Sounds like maybe you wanted different things from a relationship.

Reply 2

unikq

hey hey... slow down there buddy.
i know it depends on the relationship... but 1 or 2 texts a day?! you saw each other once a week?! LIVING 5-10 MINUTES AWAY FROM EACH OTHER?!

i used to text at least 30 times a day, have 2+hour phone conversations, and for the last couple of weeks, been seeing her almost EVERY day.

really, what you expected from her was NOT too much.. but as a guy, you have to be a bit more open about it. a guy is SUPPOSED to be putting in all the effort.

Reply 3

Irrelevance

I don't think you were clingy. I think it ended simply because the relationship fizzled out as they do. It's common for people to start asking questions after a break up, in fact, it might even be good for you since the other option is being constantly down on yourself.

Reply 4

inksplodge

Definitely not clingy, she sounds like a crap girlfriend tbf and I'm sure you'll find someone more suited to you :smile:

Reply 5

Missmeem

Nah you weren't being clingy. It just wasn't meant to be :smile:

Reply 6

ILoveOrangeJuice

unikq

sorry i disagree sometimes girls put in a LOT of effort and guys do nothing at all......

Reply 7

Singh_2

No that's not too clingy. It was her fault, should have put in much more effort. Wasn't meant to be, just move on.

Reply 8

unikq

ILoveOrangeJuice

sorry i disagree sometimes girls put in a LOT of effort and guys do nothing at all......

eh? what do you disagree about? i agree with you. a lot of the times, girls put in all the effort. i'm just saying to OP that if it were the other way round, as a guy, you have to be a bit more open minded about their lack of effort, and still accept them

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

unikq

Yes but to me the lack of effort suggested she didn't really care or wasn't too bothered about being in this relationship and I was, very much so and I wasn't going to stay in a relationship where I really cared whilst she did not.

Throughout the relationship (or at least for the most part) I was ALWAYS the one asking her out so we could meet up. I was always the one to initiate calls and texts (at least 95% of the time anyway).

Reply 10

ninaaaaaa

If she's not calling you, if she's not sleeping with you, if she's not marrying you… then maybe shes just not that into you!

Anyway lol yeah you wernt doing anything wrong, she does sound like a crap girlfriend :smile:

Reply 11

AprilMay88