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    Hey guys, not posting this for any particular reason just wanting people to chat to
    Just feel a bit down in the dumps right now, not got any huge major problem (unlike some people so i know am lucky)
    Thing is, my boyfriend of 9months, is just getting at me for the time being. I cant talk to him about anything without him turning it on me and then I eventually accept and start to believe its my fault and say Sorry!
    He is all I think about and all i care for but I just feel like I am not that big a thing on his agenda.
    To be fair, hes a great guy and am lucky to have him at all, its just wee niggly things that are constantly upsetting!
    I have changed a lot for him and dont see why he wont change wee things for me!
    Just wanting some people to chat to and maybe some advice!
    Thanks guys xox
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    I think you need to explain the situation a little clearer.

    I have changed a lot for him and dont see why he wont change wee things for me!

    Like what?
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    What have you changed for him?
    He doesnt seem to be treating you very well. how long has he been like this for? Try talking to him about it, if he just acts like an idiot and things dont change then dump him and find someone who appreciates you for who you are. Good luck
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    (Original post by cindloz)
    Hey guys, not posting this for any particular reason just wanting people to chat to
    Just feel a bit down in the dumps right now, not got any huge major problem (unlike some people so i know am lucky)
    Thing is, my boyfriend of 9months, is just getting at me for the time being. I cant talk to him about anything without him turning it on me and then I eventually accept and start to believe its my fault and say Sorry!
    He is all I think about and all i care for but I just feel like I am not that big a thing on his agenda.
    To be fair, hes a great guy and am lucky to have him at all, its just wee niggly things that are constantly upsetting!
    I have changed a lot for him and dont see why he wont change wee things for me!
    Just wanting some people to chat to and maybe some advice!
    Thanks guys xox
    Things like what? He sounds like a bit of an arse. Is there anything going on with him causing him a lot of stress that might change him? What's he usually like? :console:

    It's kind of bad when you start believing you're lucky to have someone and change to keep them.
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    Sorry, I see why I have been unclear!
    Well things were quite messed up with me at the start, I was very immature and didnt really want a serious relationship, I didnt make any effort to see him, I didnt tell my mum and didnt go round to his unless it was after a night out and things but now because he wanted so much I have grown up a lot, became completely committed, its a serious relationship with both parents knowing, I make a big effort with his parents. It all seems like silly stuff but I just feel I tried really hard for things to work as I knew how much he wanted it. I now want it equally as much, I know that I am falling in love with him which makes it harder!
    Its silly things like him not phoning or texting and waiting on me to make the effort to talk. He used to be very affectionate and now it just seems that he doesnt care about me.
    Hes now very stubborn and wont accept anything I say.
    A new trick of his is saying things to hurt and upset me to get me to stop ranting!
    We never seem to sort things anymore,he just sweet talks me and I say sorry and so does he and thats us!
    Theres nothing that I know of, I feel like I am to blame and scared he doesnt like me anymore.
    Another thing that niggles away is the fact that a lot of my friends boast about how there boyfriend doesnt let them pay for anything but he always makes me pay my way and stuff which I know is a bit blunt to be bothered about such a thing but I just feel as if sometimes he doesnt want to spoil me etc
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    Things like what? He sounds like a bit of an arse. Is there anything going on with him causing him a lot of stress that might change him? What's he usually like? :console:

    It's kind of bad when you start believing you're lucky to have someone and change to keep them.

    Sorry Sakura Chan forgot to quote first time, hopefully this will make you notice
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    (Original post by cindloz)
    Sorry, I see why I have been unclear!
    Well things were quite messed up with me at the start, I was very immature and didnt really want a serious relationship, I didnt make any effort to see him, I didnt tell my mum and didnt go round to his unless it was after a night out and things but now because he wanted so much I have grown up a lot, became completely committed, its a serious relationship with both parents knowing, I make a big effort with his parents. It all seems like silly stuff but I just feel I tried really hard for things to work as I knew how much he wanted it. I now want it equally as much, I know that I am falling in love with him which makes it harder!
    Its silly things like him not phoning or texting and waiting on me to make the effort to talk. He used to be very affectionate and now it just seems that he doesnt care about me.
    Hes now very stubborn and wont accept anything I say.
    A new trick of his is saying things to hurt and upset me to get me to stop ranting!
    We never seem to sort things anymore,he just sweet talks me and I say sorry and so does he and thats us!
    Theres nothing that I know of, I feel like I am to blame and scared he doesnt like me anymore.
    Another thing that niggles away is the fact that a lot of my friends boast about how there boyfriend doesnt let them pay for anything but he always makes me pay my way and stuff which I know is a bit blunt to be bothered about such a thing but I just feel as if sometimes he doesnt want to spoil me etc
    Why did you go out with him in the first place if you wernt that serious about a relationship with him?

    Maybe hes got alot on his mind and hes taking out his anger on you because of stress or something or maybe hes unhappy with the relationship. If hes not treating you right you deserve better anyway. The only thing i can suggest is to talk to him calmly about the way you are feeling and see what he says. If things dont change, get rid of him. Hope this helps
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    ok here's a guys point of view..... and there are several possibilities
    1) he cheated, guys tend to redirect guilt towards their partner often appearing to be a ass to make you dump him and relieve the guilt
    2) he feels crowded by you, try to limit the number of txts u send and times u ring
    3) he's simply bored, u may want to try spicing things up
    4) he's stressed and needs some time to worry and time to sort his worries.
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    Thanks blondyx
    I did like him, I was not long out a serious relationship so didnt want to go straight back into one but i liked him
    Yeah thats just my worry that hes not happy with the relationship because hes not telling me and I am soo scared to lose him
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    Thanks mrselfdestruct! Nice to hear from a guys point of view. Yeah my main worry is the cheated thing cos I think it could be a possibility. I think it could be the crowded idea, not sure about the stress or the boredness but I should maybe ask him
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    (Original post by cindloz)
    Its silly things like him not phoning or texting and waiting on me to make the effort to talk.

    He used to be very affectionate and now it just seems that he doesnt care about me.
    Hes now very stubborn and wont accept anything I say.

    A new trick of his is saying things to hurt and upset me to get me to stop ranting!

    We never seem to sort things anymore,he just sweet talks me and I say sorry and so does he and thats us!

    Theres nothing that I know of, I feel like I am to blame and scared he doesnt like me anymore.

    Another thing that niggles away is the fact that a lot of my friends boast about how there boyfriend doesnt let them pay for anything but he always makes me pay my way and stuff which I know is a bit blunt to be bothered about such a thing but I just feel as if sometimes he doesnt want to spoil me etc
    How long have you been together?

    Refuse to pay for things for him and he'll soon learn. And don't let him get away with playing mind games with you, it'll just get worse.

    If my boyfriend was anything like what you've described, I'd have dumped him long ago.
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    asking him may make things worse, the best thing to do is give him a little space first and if things dont improve then subtly bring it up in conversation, being to forward can sometimes just make us uncomfortable if we're unsure how 2 respond.
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    How long have you been together?

    Refuse to pay for things for him and he'll soon learn. And don't let him get away with playing mind games with you, it'll just get worse.

    If my boyfriend was anything like what you've described, I'd have dumped him long ago.
    About 9months.
    Nah I dont pay for his stuff, just my own which is why its kinda selfish!
    I have thought about it, I cant bring myself to it
    Even like if he had to see my thought on this, he would say I was overexaggerating and make me feel bad
    Its just really getting me down but I dont want to lose him
    Am so worried about the fact he may have cheated and is lying to me and also t he fact about him not wanting to be with me, I dont think I could tkae it
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    I'll just add one final thing..... Men are just as insecure as you, sometimes all we need is a little possitive attention
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    Dont always think the worst. Trust ur man and it may just pay off
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    (Original post by cindloz)
    Thanks blondyx
    I did like him, I was not long out a serious relationship so didnt want to go straight back into one but i liked him
    Yeah thats just my worry that hes not happy with the relationship because hes not telling me and I am soo scared to lose him
    I have been in a sitution like yours before. Unfortunately you do need to talk to him though or things will get worse. You may find out hes just acting like this because of something else and its not actually personal towards you. I hope things work out. You seem like a nice enough girl :-)
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    (Original post by mrselfdestruct)
    I'll just add one final thing..... Men are just as insecure as you, sometimes all we need is a little possitive attention
    :ditto:
    haha mine and i havent talked about it in the sense that we both worry sometimes, but i (and my friends even sometimes) can just tell
    we're both much happier after a good talk that settles our relationship issues in one go, clear the air for a couple weeks and restart...it's the key (that we've only figured out after having been broken up for a year)
    you're welcome
 
 
 
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