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Stuck in China with a skint friend Watch

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    (Original post by Shayke)
    If you were friends, you'll help her out with the money, and you wouldn't have any doubts whether she'll pay you back.
    If we were friends, she wouldn't take my money, thenuse it to buy crap that she doesn't need instead of paying it back when she doesn't have a job or any way of getting it back to me.
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    Make her get a flight home and you continue.
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    (Original post by Terryw)
    Make her get a flight home and you continue.
    Tempting
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    Don't push her to pay the money back while you're on holiday, that's just going to ruin it for you both. Let her live on £9 and get her to pay it back later.
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    (Original post by Vulpix)
    Tempting
    I don't see any other viable solution, she has to go home. She has ran out of money. You can't travel without money.

    Don't let her ruin your holiday.
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    I would sit down with her, ask her how she thinks to pay for her expenses after her 9 pounds are spent, and make perfectly clear that from that moment on, you yourself will set the rules. You will probably have to sleep at very basic hotels, eat at dodgey restaurants and travel with run down buses (to me that sounds interesting ^^). I wouldn't give her any money but I would pay for her hotel/food/travel (which doesn't have to be expensive). I would also make clear that you will get the money from her as soon as you're both back home. And most importantly: Try and enjoy the rest of your stay in China!
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    Hi, I'll have to agree with everybody else. Your friend sounds like an unreliable spoilt child and is probably not the kind of companion you would pick again for another journey.

    I would suggest for you to not give her any more money as she doesn't seem to have much common sense re what to do with it...However, you are still bound together as long as you are on your trip, so just make sure you have enough food for both of you and try to enjoy this experience as much as you can as it really is a rare opportunity.

    Once back in the UK, I would suggest for you to speak to her parents directly and explain the situation. Don't forget to mention any additional money you may have spent on food for her.

    Good luck and I hope you do have some good time.
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    You can reallly see how this friendship will turn out after the trip.
    A friend would lend the money and trust that she will get the money by some means. But since you don't seem to be that close of friends *shrugs*
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    (Original post by Vulpix)
    She got an email off her mother the other day saying "If she's giving you hassle, just ignore it. You'll get it back to her eventually"
    I wasn't trying to read her emails- she left a laptop open on the side.
    And I made it clear before I gave her the money that I wanted it back as soon as her mum sent her the 300 pounds through. She still hasn't
    Don't give her any more, you're not her bank. Let her parents sort her out or let her fend for herself, if that means she has to go home directly then fair enough, you've been more than generous enough already. Don't bother to match her spending and don't change your plans to fit round her. It's your holiday, enjoy it. If she's too stupid to deal with money then screw her.

    As for getting the money back I'm not sure, you could make it clear to both the mum and her daughter that 'eventually' is no good, if you need the money for something specific. If you can manage it (ie you don't need the money yourself for travelling) I wouldn't hassle her any more while she's on holiday. Maybe email the mum with a nice email, tell her you understand etc and that you can wait til you get home. Puts you on the moral high ground.
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    I would ask her to get her parents on the phone (with you sitting down with her) and get her to say the following:
    I owe *** £150 and I only have £9 left to last the remaining 9 days of our holiday. I'm really sorry but could you possibly put the £150 in ****'s bank account as she couldnt really afford to lend me it and could I also ask for a little more for myself...?'


    At least you will get the gist of her parents' reaction to her owing you money (cos to be honest they sound like they don't care in the email) and it underlines the fact that you need the money back ASAP
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    How close are you? If you're quite close then you could pay for her BASIC essentials and carry on, but tell your parents about it and see if they can help with their arsey mum.

    If you're not that close then tell her to get on a plane.
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    (Original post by Vulpix)
    She got an email off her mother the other day saying "If she's giving you hassle, just ignore it. You'll get it back to her eventually"
    I wasn't trying to read her emails- she left a laptop open on the side.
    And I made it clear before I gave her the money that I wanted it back as soon as her mum sent her the 300 pounds through. She still hasn't
    That's out of order. Call her out on it
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    (Original post by FiveFiveSix)
    Bin the silly bint.
    This....
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    OP where are you right now? I'm in China atm. :awesome:
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    Sounds like she expected a holiday, not travelling.
    Just rough it bigtime?

    Stupid girl.
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    (Original post by Tombola)
    You can reallly see how this friendship will turn out after the trip.
    A friend would lend the money and trust that she will get the money by some means. But since you don't seem to be that close of friends *shrugs*
    As I've said, a friend wouldn't borrow money that she knows I need and that she can't pay back, and as for the trust issue, she's let me down more times this month than I care to think about.
    And since she's still 1300 pounds in debt with her mum, I think my douts are valid, don't you think?
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    (Original post by Vulpix)
    As I've said, a friend wouldn't borrow money that she knows I need and that she can't pay back, and as for the trust issue, she's let me down more times this month than I care to think about.
    And since she's still 1300 pounds in debt with her mum, I think my douts are valid, don't you think?
    They are valid. But if she promises to get back the money to you then I reckon you should believe in her. How much money does she owe in total? Her mother will be able to back her up, unless they come from a poor family.

    There's a huge difference between borrowing money from family, and borrowing money from friends. With family there's not really a time limit to give back and it's essentially unlimited. But perhaps I'm just talking from a chinese family perspective.

    You talk about her letting you down, did she actually agree that she would return the money straight away as soon as she receives it from her mum? Or is that you just imposing on her, as valid as it may be?
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    (Original post by MancStudent098)
    Don't give her any more, you're not her bank. Let her parents sort her out or let her fend for herself, if that means she has to go home directly then fair enough, you've been more than generous enough already. Don't bother to match her spending and don't change your plans to fit round her. It's your holiday, enjoy it. If she's too stupid to deal with money then screw her.

    As for getting the money back I'm not sure, you could make it clear to both the mum and her daughter that 'eventually' is no good, if you need the money for something specific. If you can manage it (ie you don't need the money yourself for travelling) I wouldn't hassle her any more while she's on holiday. Maybe email the mum with a nice email, tell her you understand etc and that you can wait til you get home. Puts you on the moral high ground.
    Best piece of advice so far. I hate lending money out that's not just a couple of quid that I can expect back in time - £150 is a huge amount of money to 'lose'. Just a lesson to learn: don't lend out more money than you can afford to lose; if you can't lose any don't lend any (the last part of that wasn't intended for the OP in this situation).
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    (Original post by Dropdeadfred2)
    I would ask her to get her parents on the phone (with you sitting down with her) and get her to say the following:
    I owe *** £150 and I only have £9 left to last the remaining 9 days of our holiday. I'm really sorry but could you possibly put the £150 in ****'s bank account as she couldnt really afford to lend me it and could I also ask for a little more for myself...?'
    This. It is not your responsibility to give her more money - tell her that you simply do not have enough for the both of you and that, in fact, you are a little short from lending her the £150. Her parents will have the money (unless they are in severe financial difficulty) and to be honest, I can't believe they encouraged her to borrow from you in the first place.
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    Three options:

    1. Email your dad, get him to sort it out on the UK end and hope your friend's parents have the sense to force your friend to give you back the money ASAP.
    2. Tell her to take a hike, preferably onto the nearest plane out of Shanghai back to the UK, with a phone number for the nearest agency so she can sign up and get a job to pay back your money.
    3. Hand her over to the Chinese authorities, and tell them either:
    a. She wants to join the PLA because she firmly believes in the Chinese cause. She wishes to be exempt from any rules that do not permit foreign women from joining, and wants to start immediately.
    b. She was actually in China on a mission to bring it down from the inside. You found it strange when she suggested the plane straight to Shanghai when you had more than enough time to see China, so you're handing her over to the proper authorities. She is highly trained and will lie so well, even the lie detectors won't pick it up - sit back, and prepare for the lulz of an international incident.

    But, in all seriousness: if option 1 or 2 don't happen to work, sit her down, and use the magical phrase: "Look, I've lent you £150. I asked for it back as soon as you had money from your mum. I'm letting it slide until we get back to the UK, but, as soon as we hit that Land of Hope and Glory, you've got to pull your finger out of your arse, get your hands on that £150 (I don't care how - get a job, sell your body, rob a bank, kidnap the Queen), and get it back to me. I will keep asking for it every week, until it drives you insane. Kai? As for the rest of the holiday - go **** yourself. "

    [I'm in debt to a mate also, but it's only £40. I get paid in August, and he knows that, so I shall be handing over £40 of my pay to him, August 16th. I could pay him back tomorrow, but, I have £80 going in which I have to live off for a month, so I think he can see my dilemma - while August will be closer to £150].
 
 
 
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