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Don't know how to be around him anymore Watch

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    Basically, a friend of mine confessed a couple of days ago that he had feelings for me. I had absolutely no idea he thought of me as anything other than a friend and at first I thought it must just be a crush. However, he poured his heart out to me and it’s become pretty clear that he’s somehow convinced himself that he’s in love with me. As I don’t feel the same, this is something of a problem. Anyway, I’ve done my best to do the right thing by telling him firmly that it’s never going to happen and making it clear how much I value him as a friend. He’s upset obviously but made it clear too how much he wants us to remain friends and says he would hate for our friendship to change at all.

    The problem is that I’ve thought about it a lot and I’m just not sure I can be around him anymore. We’re supposed to be meeting up with our group of friends soon but I really don’t want to see him. I thought I could handle the situation but I don’t think I can. I just don’t know how to act around him anymore. It will just be like “hey, you’ve admitted that you’re in love with me and I’ve turned you down. How was your weekend?” It makes me feel really uncomfortable that he’s thought about having sex with me and he feels really strongly about me. I don’t want any of my friends to view me in that way.

    He’s also the kind of person who takes ages to get over someone and I can’t stand the fact that every time I’m around him I’ll be wondering what he’s thinking about me. It’s hard to know that I’ve hurt someone I care about and that I’m quite possibly going to hurt them for a long time just by being around them. I’m so frustrated by the whole situation. Should I just leave him to cool off for a while, or try to pretend everything is normal? Either way it seems to me that our friendship is going to be very awkward for a long time. Any advice would be helpful.
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    Yes your relationship with him will be akward but time is a healer and it will pass over, you have been good to him don't mention anything what he said to other people unless he does.
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    (Original post by Gibb~)
    Yes your relationship with him will be akward but time is a healer and it will pass over, you have been good to him don't mention anything what he said to other people unless he does.

    Yes, I've told him it's going to stay between ourselves. I'm not interested in making him feel any more embarrassed than he already does.
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    Cameacross this situation myself except i was in your friends position - liked my mate for ages but being a girl i had told my mates like the whole story (they got sick of hearing bout him lol)
    Then eventually plucked up the courage to tell him but he didnt see us as being anymore than friends was gutted but we both decided that it wouldnt change our friendship. I still thought it would be really awkward between us tho, but it wasnt coz we just acted how we had before i said anything and neither of us brought it up.
    That was over a year ago and now we're still really good mates!
    So just act as if hes said nothing and everything should be fine
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Cameacross this situation myself except i was in your friends position - liked my mate for ages but being a girl i had told my mates like the whole story (they got sick of hearing bout him lol)
    Then eventually plucked up the courage to tell him but he didnt see us as being anymore than friends was gutted but we both decided that it wouldnt change our friendship. I still thought it would be really awkward between us tho, but it wasnt coz we just acted how we had before i said anything and neither of us brought it up.
    That was over a year ago and now we're still really good mates!
    So just act as if hes said nothing and everything should be fine
    Thanks, I'm hoping this will be the case.
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    ahahahahahahahaha reminds me of the time I drunkly admitted to fancying a very close friend who I didn't actually fancy AT ALL in reality. I have no idea why I said I liked her when I was drunk, thinking of being a couple makes me cringe now as it did the morning after (she's lovely/ attractiv etc, but I just could never see her like that!). She rejected me and I proceeded to get off with four people that night (it was valentines day and everyone who was single was at the club), then I remembered in the morning and thought everything was going to be so awkward with her, but we never mentioned it again and our friendship is now as close as ever. I did think of saying I don't actually fancy you and ridding ourselves of the awkwardness, but then I figured it might be nice for her to think that someone did as she's been single for ages and the only guys who have shown any interest have been complete creeps who were obsessed with her.

    So it might not actually be at all awkward with him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ahahahahahahahaha reminds me of the time I drunkly admitted to fancying a very close friend who I didn't actually fancy AT ALL in reality. I have no idea why I said I liked her when I was drunk, thinking of being a couple makes me cringe now as it did the morning after (she's lovely/ attractiv etc, but I just could never see her like that!). She rejected me and I proceeded to get off with four people that night (it was valentines day and everyone who was single was at the club), then I remembered in the morning and thought everything was going to be so awkward with her, but we never mentioned it again and our friendship is now as close as ever. I did think of saying I don't actually fancy you and ridding ourselves of the awkwardness, but then I figured it might be nice for her to think that someone did as she's been single for ages and the only guys who have shown any interest have been complete creeps who were obsessed with her.

    So it might not actually be at all awkward with him.

    I would love nothing better than for this to be the case. I would really rather he didn't like me. Unfortunately he has talked with me about it on two different occasions, he wasn't drunk and now that I know what he thinks about me I can see that he's been trying to make it increasingly obvious for weeks.
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    maybe when he goes off of you, you'll start liking him. it's the h&r way.
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    (Original post by Frannnnn)
    maybe when he goes off of you, you'll start liking him. it's the h&r way.
    Trust me, that won't happen. It's not even because we're friends. We're not at all suited and I'm just not attracted to him.
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    Act normal/casual around him. It will only be awkward if you make it so (or if he continues). Don't overthink it.
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    In cases i've seen when the guy admits it to the girl and she rejects him he either won't speak to her again, or just won't talk about it as he is to hurt.

    Give it time and see how things go.
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    POOR guy...

    Cool off you know what to do ...
 
 
 
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