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    The thing is, I have always been a big girl and i know I could do with losing a few pounds here and there. But I am not too bothered about it. And if it upset me that much then I would do someting about it. The thing that upsets me is when my mum calls me fat. I know she is only trying to help, but she just doesn't know how to get it across to me, so just uses the bluntest way.
    I've tried dieting before and lost 2 stone but that was because I did it for my mum.
    I recently tried dieting again for her but gave up after a week because I didn't want to. Then last night she said to me "so what you just want to stay fat forever?"
    It really upset me.
    I know really I shouldn't do it for her, I should do it for myself, but we have been through so much together, I just wanted to try for her.
    The other thing that annoys me is my mum has always said I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.
    If I diet for my mum, then I want her to stop smoking. Whenever I have talked to her about this she always goes off in a stress.
    She has had cancer twice and I am only thinking of her health. I don't want to lose my mum young.
    Am I being selfish in not losing weight because she wont give up smoking? Or am I right to do so?
    How do I talk to her and tell her this? I usually don't have a problem talking to her as we are quite close. But last night my dad was like a messenger going from room to room, telling each other what we had said.
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    Truth hurts .
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    If you don't want to lose weight then don't, but if you do don't do it just for your mum.

    You're mum shouldn't be smoking but I'm guessing its bloody hard to stop after you've been doing it for years.
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    You should want to do it for yourself and for your own health. I dont see why you wouldnt want to :dontknow:
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    (Original post by co_co_vogue)
    You should want to do it for yourself and for your own health. I dont see why you wouldnt want to :dontknow:
    To be honest I don't see myself as "that fat".
    I happily fit into a dress size 14.
    I have an hourglass figure - it's just larger.
    I horse ride, walk and bike alot. So I am active and fit.
    And my BMI is only like 26.5
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    do what i'm going to do. find yourself a feeder and live diabetically ever after.
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    (Original post by 13ecca)
    To be honest I don't see myself as "that fat".
    I happily fit into a dress size 14.
    I have an hourglass figure - it's just larger.
    I horse ride, walk and bike alot. So I am active and fit.
    And my BMI is only like 26.2

    It's still overweight. If you dont want to though and you are happy being your weight, you shouldnt have to because of your mother.
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    is that you in your profile pic btw?
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    My friends mum also calls my friend fat, and shes not obese or anything, like you said, just needs to loose a few pounds here and there, and she gets quite upset about it,
    i think as long as your eating a balanced diet and do enough exercise, then dont worry about dieting, unless your GP says u need to of course
    tell your mum ur happy and thats what she should want the most!

    its hard to quit smoking, and for some people they just cant, just support her, and try to nudge her in the right direction

    not sure if that helps
    but
    good luck
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    To be honest... if your happy the way you are... then stay like that! (:
    Don't change for no-one. And tell your mum that what she is saying is hurtful and tell her to stop.
    As long as you are happy in yourself.. who cares? (:

    Hope this helps xD
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    (Original post by co_co_vogue)
    It's still overweight. If you dont want to though and you are happy being your weight, you shouldnt have to because of your mother.
    I know it is still overweight. But it's better than the 29.7 that it was.
    When I lost weight last time, I did do it for my mum, but I also did it for me because I knew I had to do something about it. Which is why I stuck to it and lost 2 stone.
    However, I know I am still overweight, but I am happy like this.


    (Original post by ViolatedTreason)
    is that you in your profile pic btw?
    Yes it is.
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    Get your BMI to 25 or below. Then you can tell your mum that the NHS says you're not fat.
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    (Original post by 13ecca)
    Yes it is.
    tell your mom to go **** herself then, cos i honestly wouldnt say that you were fat, not from the photo anyway.
    your BMI isnt that much off "healthy" anyway, and size 14 is good IMO
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    The problem with this is, you both think you're right. Your mum thinks she's right about you being 'fat' and that you should lose weight. And you think you're right as you want her to stop her vice, which is smoking.

    The annoying thing about this, is that both of these issues (weight, and smoking) the only way to cure them, is by own will power and the motivation to do it. Smoking is something you have to WANT to give up - much like being overweight - you've got to WANT to lose weight or it won't work.

    The only compromise I can see, is if you talk it out, tell her your worried about her smoking, she'll tell you she's worried about your weight and then make an agreement to do something about them, but ONLY when you both want to.
    You'll never force a smoker to give up, and you'll never force an overweight person to lose weight. All you can do is accept that you're 2 different people and make allowances for the fact that you're both as stubborn and pigheaded as each other
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    My mums calls me fat everytime she sees me...I think it's a Mum thing... *Shrugs shoulders* :rolleyes:
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    you're pretty :yes:

    if you're happy the way you are then stay the way you are. being slightly overweight is hardly going to cut 30 years of your life off.
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    I looked at your profile pic and you are beautiful! Honestly, don't listen to your mum or anyone else for that matter, if you are happy as you are then thats the main thing. You are active, you exercise and as long as you eat well then I don't see the problem. This world is too full of women worrying about their weight and being on constant crash diets.

    Just do what makes you happy, if your mum wants to carry on smoking then there isn't really much you can do about it (aside from hiding her cigarettes of course!)
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    Well from what I can see, your pretty damn hot!
    Sounds like you do alot of exercise and that too,
    Honestly, If you don't want to don't.. Find a nice lad
    who likes you for who you are
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    See... just look at all these nice comments!
    Just be happy in yourself m'dear and you'll be fine!
    Don't listen to what anyone has to say! x
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    You are gorgeous in your profile picture so and you have no need to lose weight unless it is making you, personally, unhappy.
    If you are happy with your weight, then there is noone that can tell you otherwise.
    But if it is upsetting you, then talk to your mum, you're her daughter, and she even though she doesn't want to stop smoking, she can at least listen to you.
 
 
 
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