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So my mum called me fat...
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Dumdedoobie
I know they can be called fags.
But that doesn't make her a fag hag.
But that doesn't make her a fag hag.
What the hell are you talking about?
Bubbles*de*Milo
What the hell are you talking about?
Oh, nothing.
cdloanio
fag =cigarette
Yeah, no **** Sherlock...
Dr Zeuss™
you're pretty 
if you're happy the way you are then stay the way you are. being slightly overweight is hardly going to cut 30 years of your life off.
if you're happy the way you are then stay the way you are. being slightly overweight is hardly going to cut 30 years of your life off.
Being obese shaves as many years off life expectancy as smoking. It's not a non-issue.
kates:)
The BMI indicator is flawed though remember! Doesn't take into account muscle mass/weight which weighs more. Just a wee point out
If your BMI is over 25 then your muscle mass isnt going to be significant. If it is then youre gonna know about it at that BMI. Generally High Muscle Mass = Low Fat Mass and High Fat Mass = Low Muscle Mass.
Both the losing weight and giving up smoking are personal choices. They should only be made by the person whom it involves, without pressure from the outside (yes, advice, but not pressure).
So basically, tell your mother how you don't like her smoking and why, and tell her that you'll lose weight if you are unhappy with your current weight. If she keeps calling you fat then what you have to do is ignore it.
So basically, tell your mother how you don't like her smoking and why, and tell her that you'll lose weight if you are unhappy with your current weight. If she keeps calling you fat then what you have to do is ignore it.
cdloanio
whats your issue then?
Go read the relevant part of the thread, and use your amazing powers of comprehension to work it out.
13ecca
I know it is still overweight. But it's better than the 29.7 that it was.
When I lost weight last time, I did do it for my mum, but I also did it for me because I knew I had to do something about it. Which is why I stuck to it and lost 2 stone.
However, I know I am still overweight, but I am happy like this.
Yes it is.
When I lost weight last time, I did do it for my mum, but I also did it for me because I knew I had to do something about it. Which is why I stuck to it and lost 2 stone.
However, I know I am still overweight, but I am happy like this.
Yes it is.
You are beautiful, and dont look exactly fat, just a little bigger than the 'average' whatever that is. I dont think you should change for anyone but yourself, and like i said you are beautiful the way you are...imo anyway.
So, my mum said Im a loser, an ugly mess cause of my spots and that guys don't like girls who wear big jumpers with hoods.. and that most people think 'oh well at least she has a nice personality' but she said I don't even have that lol. She also said once that if she was me she would slit her wrists.
You will never able to lose weight, and keep it off, until you are properly motivated. And that means doing it for YOU, not for your mother.
It's the same for your mother and smoking. I'd put money on the fact that doesn't expect/want you to lose weight, because then she couldn't blame you for her smoking. If she wanted to give up, she would.
It's the same for your mother and smoking. I'd put money on the fact that doesn't expect/want you to lose weight, because then she couldn't blame you for her smoking. If she wanted to give up, she would.
EEmperor
Both the losing weight and giving up smoking are personal choices. They should only be made by the person whom it involves, without pressure from the outside (yes, advice, but not pressure).
I completely agree, what a good way of putting it!
If you don't want to lose weight (although having seen that thread someone posted earlier this is debatable) and your mum doesn't want to stop smoking, ultimately neither of you can do anything about the other's issue. No I don't think it's nice what she says to you, but maybe she thinks it will motivate you- has she tried different ways of suggesting you slim down?
I think you need to decide if you really are happy with the way you are and if you're not, why are you not. If you are, brilliant, as others have said, you look really pretty and I know most girls (myself included) would love to be happy in their own skin. But the thread you created entitled "I need to lose weight" and in your profile where you say something about losing 2/3 dress sizes suggest maybe you do want to lose a little weight- so is this because you yourself think you "need to lose weight" or your mum thinks you "need to lose weight" and so you do.
If you're only doing it for your mum then chances are, it won't work. Losing weight requires a lot of motivation and dedication and if you don't have that, it's not likely to happen. So explain this to your mum. Ask her why she is so insistent you lose weight and does she understand how this is making you feel. Obviously if she brings up any health concerns I would find it difficult not to bring up the smoking thing, but try not to let it turn into a big argument!
ViolatedTreason
is that you in your profile pic btw?
i was wondering that myself - your hardly unnattractive OP
you are beautiful.
saying this I can see where your mum is coming from, a size 14 is a little chubby, i used to be one, and your BMI is overweight she just wants you to reach your full potential, becausr she loves you ,its a mum thing. maybe say to her that you'll lose weight if she quites smoking because they're both damaging your health, it'll be tough but you can help each other out in the bad times, it might help you two get even closer.
but if you're happy then stay as you are
saying this I can see where your mum is coming from, a size 14 is a little chubby, i used to be one, and your BMI is overweight she just wants you to reach your full potential, becausr she loves you ,its a mum thing. maybe say to her that you'll lose weight if she quites smoking because they're both damaging your health, it'll be tough but you can help each other out in the bad times, it might help you two get even closer.
but if you're happy then stay as you are
13ecca
The thing is, I have always been a big girl and i know I could do with losing a few pounds here and there. But I am not too bothered about it. And if it upset me that much then I would do someting about it. The thing that upsets me is when my mum calls me fat. I know she is only trying to help, but she just doesn't know how to get it across to me, so just uses the bluntest way.
I've tried dieting before and lost 2 stone but that was because I did it for my mum.
I recently tried dieting again for her but gave up after a week because I didn't want to. Then last night she said to me "so what you just want to stay fat forever?"
It really upset me.
I know really I shouldn't do it for her, I should do it for myself, but we have been through so much together, I just wanted to try for her.
The other thing that annoys me is my mum has always said I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.
If I diet for my mum, then I want her to stop smoking. Whenever I have talked to her about this she always goes off in a stress.
She has had cancer twice and I am only thinking of her health. I don't want to lose my mum young.
Am I being selfish in not losing weight because she wont give up smoking? Or am I right to do so?
How do I talk to her and tell her this? I usually don't have a problem talking to her as we are quite close. But last night my dad was like a messenger going from room to room, telling each other what we had said.
I've tried dieting before and lost 2 stone but that was because I did it for my mum.
I recently tried dieting again for her but gave up after a week because I didn't want to. Then last night she said to me "so what you just want to stay fat forever?"
It really upset me.
I know really I shouldn't do it for her, I should do it for myself, but we have been through so much together, I just wanted to try for her.
The other thing that annoys me is my mum has always said I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.
If I diet for my mum, then I want her to stop smoking. Whenever I have talked to her about this she always goes off in a stress.
She has had cancer twice and I am only thinking of her health. I don't want to lose my mum young.
Am I being selfish in not losing weight because she wont give up smoking? Or am I right to do so?
How do I talk to her and tell her this? I usually don't have a problem talking to her as we are quite close. But last night my dad was like a messenger going from room to room, telling each other what we had said.
It sounds like she's trying to detract the attention from her own weakness and failure in giving up a horrific habit by having a go at you. If you do the exercise you say you do, then that is fine. BMI is bull. My friend is in the army and is the size of a tank in terms of physical strength. Not an ounce of fat on him! But his BMI is 28!!! Her inability to give up smoking is her fault, not yours. Her 'giving up' should not be down to you and it sounds like she's looking for someone to blame. It's so hard criticising your parents, but she needs to know that she is responsible for her own actions. Where her health is concerned it shouldn't be 'you scratch my back'. Because that is looking for a reason not to. If you don't want to diet, she knows that, and can then use it as an excuse not to try giving up smoking.
kates:)
The BMI indicator is flawed though remember! Doesn't take into account muscle mass/weight which weighs more. Just a wee point out
Size 14 isnt exactly a good size to be at especially if you have been even more overweight before.
i am speaking from experience.
Yeah I know - but even bone will only account for 2/3 kg not much.
Plus whats the harm in losing half a stone.
Stay at that weight, you still get comments such as "should you really be eating that?". Its harsh, but the fat jokes dont stop do they? You still get bullied for it. Come on if oyur mum is saying that you need to lose weight then it probably is something you should do.
Worst time of my life, like it was horrible. I never ever want to be overweight like that ever again.
Being the right weight is important, it affects everything, your confidence, your mindset, your relationships...
Being size 18 to size 8 the biggest life changing thing I have ever done.
So OP- think to lose the weight asap, your health is at stake also. Diabetes, high blood pressure etc...
Bubbles*de*Milo
Errrm.
British fag is not the same as American fag.
British fag is not the same as American fag.
Even in this lovely land I've only ever heard the term "fag hag" being used in the way Dumdedoobie described, even by people who normally only use fag when talking about cigarettes. I've never heard it being used the way you did, referring to someone who smokes. It is a homonym though, so whatever.
To the OP: you look amazing in your profile pic, although it only shows your face, but if you want to lose weight then do so. If you're healthy and happy with the way you look then don't bother, regardless of what your mum said.
13ecca
The thing is, I have always been a big girl and i know I could do with losing a few pounds here and there. But I am not too bothered about it. And if it upset me that much then I would do someting about it. The thing that upsets me is when my mum calls me fat. I know she is only trying to help, but she just doesn't know how to get it across to me, so just uses the bluntest way.
I've tried dieting before and lost 2 stone but that was because I did it for my mum.
I recently tried dieting again for her but gave up after a week because I didn't want to. Then last night she said to me "so what you just want to stay fat forever?"
It really upset me.
I know really I shouldn't do it for her, I should do it for myself, but we have been through so much together, I just wanted to try for her.
The other thing that annoys me is my mum has always said I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.
If I diet for my mum, then I want her to stop smoking. Whenever I have talked to her about this she always goes off in a stress.
She has had cancer twice and I am only thinking of her health. I don't want to lose my mum young.
Am I being selfish in not losing weight because she wont give up smoking? Or am I right to do so?
How do I talk to her and tell her this? I usually don't have a problem talking to her as we are quite close. But last night my dad was like a messenger going from room to room, telling each other what we had said.
I've tried dieting before and lost 2 stone but that was because I did it for my mum.
I recently tried dieting again for her but gave up after a week because I didn't want to. Then last night she said to me "so what you just want to stay fat forever?"
It really upset me.
I know really I shouldn't do it for her, I should do it for myself, but we have been through so much together, I just wanted to try for her.
The other thing that annoys me is my mum has always said I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.
If I diet for my mum, then I want her to stop smoking. Whenever I have talked to her about this she always goes off in a stress.
She has had cancer twice and I am only thinking of her health. I don't want to lose my mum young.
Am I being selfish in not losing weight because she wont give up smoking? Or am I right to do so?
How do I talk to her and tell her this? I usually don't have a problem talking to her as we are quite close. But last night my dad was like a messenger going from room to room, telling each other what we had said.
Just out of curiousity - what's your height? 'Cause i'm a size 12/14 and I carry most my weight round my bum/thighs (Hourglass
), but i've got a BMI of 22..?Related discussions
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