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    another student woe..the story goes like this (we're both girls btw)

    This is about my best friend in class. i'm an academic high achiever, so my friend is mostly shadowed in my academic achievements..

    recently i realised she was reluctant to help me do little things, like normal stuff a friend would help you do. eg. drop a book by the library. well she did it in the end, cos i was busy, but she grumbled a little. this left a bad aftertaste..

    but recently she topped class in a subject. so i thought it'd be a turn around.

    but then today i was sick, so she helped me collect my test paper. and she and another friend decided to not tell me my results saying i "ditched" them in school. (well yea, sometimes i skipped school to mug, or sort out important stuff. but today i really was sick) in the end she told me my rough grade.

    i've a feeling she's jealous of my academic achievements and life as a whole. one time she said "you are pretty, go get a boyfriend" jokingly. when i probed, she replied "nah im not pretty. no one wants me". i managed to turn the convo around, but her lack of confidence bugged me.

    and she's in the influence of another friend of ours who is a very goal driven guy. he admitted he would kill people to get a place in university. and would pay more than the 2008 US bailout to prolong his life for 10 years(i was asking after reading some articles about insurance plans).

    recently, i also lent her my harry potter book, and once she had it, she referred to it as "my book". when i asked to get it back for a while to finish reading it, she hugged it away from me, and (supposedly) jokingly said noooooooooooooooooo. she was so insistent i relented and gave up asking for my book back.

    so i was wondering if it's a problem of inferiority complex? (she didn't get along well with her secondary school classmates)

    and how do should you treat a friend like this? i want to help her gain more confidence, but how?
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    (Original post by eirelav_tan)
    another student woe..
    Then Wooooooooooooooooooeeeeee :yep:
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    right. thanks -.-
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    (Original post by eirelav_tan)
    so i was wondering if it's a problem of inferiority complex? (she didn't get along well with her secondary school classmates)

    and how do should you treat a friend like this? i want to help her gain more confidence, but how?
    Prove to her that she is good in the areas she lacks confidence. If you are her good friend, this shouldn't be too hard for you. Make her very much aware of the skills she posses that you don't. Another way is to push her out of the comfort zone. I have a friend who relies on me doing this, and slowly but surely, we're building his confidence up.
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    (Original post by eirelav_tan)
    another student woe..the story goes like this (we're both girls btw)

    This is about my best friend in class. i'm an academic high achiever, so my friend is mostly shadowed in my academic achievements..

    recently i realised she was reluctant to help me do little things, like normal stuff a friend would help you do. eg. drop a book by the library. well she did it in the end, cos i was busy, but she grumbled a little. this left a bad aftertaste..

    but recently she topped class in a subject. so i thought it'd be a turn around.

    but then today i was sick, so she helped me collect my test paper. and she and another friend decided to not tell me my results saying i "ditched" them in school. (well yea, sometimes i skipped school to mug, or sort out important stuff. but today i really was sick) in the end she told me my rough grade.

    i've a feeling she's jealous of my academic achievements and life as a whole. one time she said "you are pretty, go get a boyfriend" jokingly. when i probed, she replied "nah im not pretty. no one wants me". i managed to turn the convo around, but her lack of confidence bugged me.

    and she's in the influence of another friend of ours who is a very goal driven guy. he admitted he would kill people to get a place in university. and would pay more than the 2008 US bailout to prolong his life for 10 years(i was asking after reading some articles about insurance plans).

    recently, i also lent her my harry potter book, and once she had it, she referred to it as "my book". when i asked to get it back for a while to finish reading it, she hugged it away from me, and (supposedly) jokingly said noooooooooooooooooo. she was so insistent i relented and gave up asking for my book back.

    so i was wondering if it's a problem of inferiority complex? (she didn't get along well with her secondary school classmates)

    and how do should you treat a friend like this? i want to help her gain more confidence, but how?
    Sounds to me like you think you're better than her. I'm getting ego, ego, ego out of this.

    You can't force someone to change to suit yourself.
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    i hate when people automatically assume "oh he or she is jealous of me just because they aren't nice to me"

    just confront her.
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    Praise her when she does well.
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    just confront her.
    i've been thinking about it, but just saying something along the lines of "are you jealous of me?" is too tactless!

    Praise her when she does well.
    yea i did. could tell she felt happy about it. problem is these opportunities come too rarely.

    Sounds to me like you think you're better than her. I'm getting ego, ego, ego out of this.

    You can't force someone to change to suit yourself.
    i'm laying out the facts so u guys can have a more holistic picture of our relationship..
    plus not many pple in our current class like her cos they find her whimsical & childish -.- i sometimes find it adorable, but perhaps it would do her more social good if she grew out of it.

    Another way is to push her out of the comfort zone. I have a friend who relies on me doing this, and slowly but surely, we're building his confidence up.
    how?
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    Strange people.
 
 
 
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