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    #1

    please keep anon or delete...

    right, so the thing is...
    I'm an 18 year old female who has developed feelings for one of my good friends. I do not know of this is just a phase or my hormones. :confused:

    We be-friended last year during christmas and since then have been quite close. We are interested in the same things and enjoy being in each others presence. A couple of monthes ago she got out steady and is in a relationship for a guy that I know. To find this out made me feel quite angry as such, raging at him.

    And now, when we go out to night clubs etc, he would be there and i just feel a hint of jealousey, with a lump in my throat, its quite hard to explain.

    I do like guys, and i admit that, i love them all haha, but its just with her. i do not know what love is as i havent witnessed it before but when i think of her, which is ALL the time, i feel really hurt to know that she would be with him!

    Any suggestions as to how i can get her out of my head? its torture! what do yas think??
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    anyone?
    • #2
    #2

    Do u think of it as a problem? I mean if,I say if,whatever u think of could be possible u wouldn't want it?

    It's more or less the same with being jealous over a guy.Well I guess first things u need to get sure of are whether she likes that guy lots and second whether she could develop feelings (in ur way) for u.

    If she likes the guy lots,well u've got ur answer.If u care enough about her u'll let her be.I mean friends are friends,dates are dates.She will still spend time with u,but as a friend.

    Key point is to find out if she's crazy for him first.No need to see reactions by admitting urself beforehand.
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    If you are, then fair enough. It takes time to figure out your sexuality I suppose. Most importantly, she is blatantly straight so don't let your 'feelings' for her get in the way of your friendship and don't switch and freak out on her poor boyfriend, it's not his fault. (Not saying that you will...but you know.)

    Do you feel that way about other girls? Female celebrities, girls you've seen but don't know, et cetera?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    she really likes the guy! which makes me feel worse. i just wana get her out of my head!
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    If its only one close friend you like then yes, its likely its just one of those perfectly natural phases. Seeing as you like guys its very doubtful you're a lesbian anyway. If you start liking more than one girl more generally and want sex/a relationship with girls, then you might be bi.

    You sound straight to me though.
    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by She_said)
    If you are, then fair enough. It takes time to figure out your sexuality I suppose. Most importantly, she is blatantly straight so don't let your 'feelings' for her get in the way of your friendship and don't switch and freak out on her poor boyfriend, it's not his fault. (Not saying that you will...but you know.)

    Do you feel that way about other girls? Female celebrities, girls you've seen but don't know, et cetera?
    i dont think so. not as bad as this anyway!
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    First off, she has a boyfriend - did you say you were 'raging at him' for this? That's really wrong. It's something you have to accept and you shouldn't mess with that, it's not for you to say anything to either of them about their relationship, or anyone else for that matter.

    Everyone has same-sex crushes at some point in their life, doesn't mean you're bi or lesbian or whatever - don't put yourself in a category and more importantly, don't panic! Sounds to me like a one-off crush, but it's hard to tell - it's for you to decide.
    • #2
    #2

    Well there is no prescription for getting ppl out of ur head =P If there was believe me lots of ppl would have been a lot happier.

    But u cant do anything at this point.I guess that u wouldn't want to lose her as a friend,but well just get used to it.She made her choice and think of looking somewhere else.Don't drool on it.The more u question urself (Am I bi? What am I feeling? What am I gonna do?) the worst it gets.And it doesn't really lead u anywhere.Just let life progress normally.Or well try to get out more.Maybe sometimes by urself.Clear ur head,don't have her around.Maybe u'll get some insight.Don't rush.
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    Maybe your bi-curious?
    • #1
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    (Original post by isawsparks89)
    First off, she has a boyfriend - did you say you were 'raging at him' for this? That's really wrong. It's something you have to accept and you shouldn't mess with that, it's not for you to say anything to either of them about their relationship, or anyone else for that matter.

    Everyone has same-sex crushes at some point in their life, doesn't mean you're bi or lesbian or whatever - don't put yourself in a category and more importantly, don't panic! Sounds to me like a one-off crush, but it's hard to tell - it's for you to decide.
    so i'm such a bad person for being jealous. i cant help my feelings!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    so i'm such a bad person for being jealous. i cant help my feelings!
    Tough **** - she's in a relationship, far as I'm concerned, that's crossing a boundary to go and rage at him. Fair enough that you're jealous, but you've no right to go up and have a go at either of them about it, just cos you can't keep your feelings to yourself - it's one thing to be jealous, it's quite another to air that when you know she's taken.
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    Do you think about being with her sexually? It sounds more like an infatuation to me which will hopefully fade over time. The most important thing is to not worry about labelling yourself, and not to wreck her relationship if she's happy.
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    If you're having feelings for someone, same sex or opposite, it does not mean that you are gay or bi or straight. Sexual feelings are a better clue, I would say.

    If you think about her sexually, then you might be bi or gay. But, do you think about guys sexually? Plenty of my bisexual female friends label themselves as bisexual because they don't really have too many "sexual" feelings about either sex, but are attracted to people regardless.

    In any case, it's nothing to worry about. Give it a year or two, and you might realise something, you might not, you might change your mind about your sexuality and you might not.
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    As said she has a boyfriend so thats a idea that for one she isnt interested in girls as far as you know, and she is in a relationship so even if you were going to try something that puts her in such a horrid position.

    As for being a lesbian, so you feel like you need to label yourself as i dont think you need to. As you have only fallen for one girl, dosent mean in anyway that you are a lesbian it may not mean that you are bi, take it as time goes by and then see what you feel.

    I think even though you are feeling abit down im guessing about the whole thing atm, it may be the right thing to move on.
    • #3
    #3

    I'm in a very similar situation
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    It sounds like a girl crush in that, it's not the same as the attraction you'd get for a boy but it is similar in that you admire her and are very attached to her. It's easy to confuse this with homosexual feelings but I actually doubt they are.

    I once went through a similar phase but I came out of it pretty fast and I'm more sure about my sexuality now (heterosexual coincidently) so just try your best not to show your jealousy and wait for your hormones to die down.
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    Girl crush?
    • #1
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    (Original post by isawsparks89)
    Tough **** - she's in a relationship, far as I'm concerned, that's crossing a boundary to go and rage at him. Fair enough that you're jealous, but you've no right to go up and have a go at either of them about it, just cos you can't keep your feelings to yourself - it's one thing to be jealous, it's quite another to air that when you know she's taken.
    and who the **** said i was gona say anything to either of them? get ur facts right!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    to everyone thats posted on this.... i have clearly mentioned HOW to get the girl out of my head? i did not say i was gona wreck their relationship!
 
 
 
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