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Girls does your bf/ husband talk much? watch

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    Please keep anon as my bf uses this.

    As my question says, does he?

    I am asking this because i feel like im always the one who initiates the conversation when we're not seeing each other face to face. We get on fine when we're actually together; we just do stuff and talk about anything. But when on the phone or msn it seems like harder to make a conversation. This doesnt help when we're apart for weeks during the summer It makes me wonder if this is a bad sign...
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    From a male point of view my GF talks too much and initiates too many conversations.

    Take last night, I'd just worked a thirteen hour shift and after three hours of non stop talking about her day, her moms day, her moms friends days and the next door neighbours day I politely pointed out how long she'd been talking at me and that I was actually a little tired and needed to relax. She got the hump and went to bed.

    I was very polite depite being very tired.
    • #1
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    (Original post by mogger71)
    From a male point of view my GF talks too much and initiates too many conversations.

    Take last night, I'd just worked a thirteen hour shift and after three hours of non stop talking about her day, her moms day, her moms friends days and the next door neighbours day I politely pointed out how long she'd been talking at me and that I was actually a little tired and needed to relax. She got the hump and went to bed.

    I was very polite depite being very tired.
    fair enough since you've been working loads and was tired.

    My bf isnt working at the moment cus he's just back at home looking after his cat (his mum's aways to spain for a month and there's no one els at home to look after it). He said he's not talking because there wasnt anything to talk about since he hasnt done much apart from staying at home...

    I talked a lot on msn just to keep the conversation going. if not there conversation will prob las for 5 mins and then silence for the rest of the evening...
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    It depends on the guy. It's a generalisation but most guys don't like chatting on the phone, at least not to anywhere near the same extent as girls.

    Me personally, my boyfriend talks more than me. I'm too quiet and I hate talking on the phone, I never did it before we met. We're LD too, only ours is constant not just summer time. That might make it harder for you, because we're used to the phone calls. You might just have to wait for him to get used to chatting, a lot of guys only use the phone for things like 'where are you?', 'round the corner', 'okay bye' type things.

    You could maybe tell him it's bothering you. At least it'll give you something to talk about :tongue: Or just start asking questions and force him to talk.

    Edit - And as for him not having anything to talk about, I can identify with him a bit. I'm only working 2 days a week so some nights I have nothing to say to him. Maybe reduce the amount of communication? I know it's horrible but if you're finding conversation difficult it might be a way to have a decent talk, rather than feeling like one or both of you can't wait to get off the phone.
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    Men don't trust phones. When you go to sleep they tend to wriggle into your most vulnerable body orifices. Ergo, men are scared of the phenomena that is 'PHONE.' You should be more understanding, try to comfort him around 'PHONE,' try to bring him into it's world so he can understand why it reacts as it does. 'PHONE' is a natural predator but so is man, there is no reason why, if brought up together, man and 'PHONE' cannot get along.
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    He actually talks more than I do. But it's mainly about WOW. :ahee:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    fair enough since you've been working loads and was tired.

    My bf isnt working at the moment cus he's just back at home looking after his cat (his mum's aways to spain for a month and there's no one els at home to look after it). He said he's not talking because there wasnt anything to talk about since he hasnt done much apart from staying at home...

    I talked a lot on msn just to keep the conversation going. if not there conversation will prob las for 5 mins and then silence for the rest of the evening...
    but it's as much as about subject matter as the legnth of my shift. Why would I be interested in her mothers friends day or the neighbours day? If I want to have a conversation it needs to be interesting/relevant. I love my GF to bits but I don't want to know about 3rd or 4th parties.
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    Well we both talk equal amounts - surely all conversations are meant to be like that. A one sided conversation is a bit pointless.
    (When we are together) sometimes we talk loads other times like if were tired or one of us is tired not so much we can just sit and watch tv for example but it doesn't feel awkward like were meant to be talking. I guess it's just nice being together whatever you doing

    Aside from that when were not together we have a few text conversations or use MSN. On MSN we just have a normal equal conversation. I don't really see how it could be one sided on MSN your either typing or your not!!

    It's also good to have your own space sometimes smothering someone and talking 10 to the dozen when someone feels like just doing their own thing isn't gonna help the situation!
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    I hate phones, and in my experience, most men have little time for phone conversations.

    I use my phone to text at the very most. When I do phone people, I try to keep it short and snappy. I can arrange to meet with friends in less than 30s.

    In all honesty, I don't like to talk to my gf on msn, or on the phone. I think it makes conversation dull when we actually do see each other, because we're already discussed it all via some other medium. Although for some reason, I don't have a problem with texting.

    In any case, it is not a bad sign. Men just aren't as chatty as women.
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    (Original post by New...Romantic)

    You could maybe tell him it's bothering you. At least it'll give you something to talk about :tongue: Or just start asking questions and force him to talk.

    Edit - And as for him not having anything to talk about, I can identify with him a bit. I'm only working 2 days a week so some nights I have nothing to say to him. Maybe reduce the amount of communication? I know it's horrible but if you're finding conversation difficult it might be a way to have a decent talk, rather than feeling like one or both of you can't wait to get off the phone.
    I've told him about it, and his explanation was that because he isnt working and not doing much, he has nothing to talk about. I could understand that but i just wondered why he wouldnt put some effort to just start a topic instead of saying "lol" mostly

    Maybe reducing the amount of communication is the only option.
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    Well i don't know about anyone but i think your lucky! I'm not the quiet type, i'm actually quite chatty. But wait... you haven't met MY boyfriend yet. He talks more than any girl i know. He talks WAY more than me. I might start off a conversation about one thing.. and then he will COMPLETELY take over, talking about his view points blah blah blah for literally hours. And by the end of it he COMPLETELY goes onto a different topic! And this is without me saying a word!

    Don't get me wrong, I do love him, and he's not selfish or anything and he does listen to me and takes me into consideration, but i have been known to fall asleep on the phone to him. :bored:
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    (Original post by Fran:))
    Well we both talk equal amounts - surely all conversations are meant to be like that. A one sided conversation is a bit pointless.
    (When we are together) sometimes we talk loads other times like if were tired or one of us is tired not so much we can just sit and watch tv for example but it doesn't feel awkward like were meant to be talking. I guess it's just nice being together whatever you doing


    Aside from that when were not together we have a few text conversations or use MSN. On MSN we just have a normal equal conversation. I don't really see how it could be one sided on MSN your either typing or your not!!

    It's also good to have your own space sometimes smothering someone and talking 10 to the dozen when someone feels like just doing their own thing isn't gonna help the situation!
    Exact same.
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    (Original post by mogger71)
    From a male point of view my GF talks too much and initiates too many conversations.

    Take last night, I'd just worked a thirteen hour shift and after three hours of non stop talking about her day, her moms day, her moms friends days and the next door neighbours day I politely pointed out how long she'd been talking at me and that I was actually a little tired and needed to relax. She got the hump and went to bed.

    I was very polite depite being very tired.
    LOL
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    I find that if I'm going out alot and doing stuff rather than just lazing about there is always something to mention or comment on to start a conversation. So he probably just needs to get off his arse and do something out of his normal routine to find something to talk about.
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    My boyfriend isn't much of a fan of talking on the phone and he's far less conversational on the phone/via text than I am. I think it's a stereotypical male thing. I wouldn't take offense from it if he's perfectly chatty in person.
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    I hate talking on the phone with a passion personally, so it could just be that.
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    (Original post by Screenname)
    Exact same.
    Yay
    Well I think that's how it's meant to be conversation shouldn't feel forced.

    Sometimes people go through periods of not wanting to talk and just wanted to have some alone time. I know every now and then I need time for myself if i'm in a bad mood or stressed over something!
    I wouldn't worry over him not wanting to talk heaps on MSN sometimes MSN really annoys me specially if i'm tired I don't wanna sit and type and look at screen. Oh and not to mention the 14325 times it signs you out for no reason!
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    He talks all the bloody time, he's totally like my brother, there's never a seconds silence unless he's upset about something :love:

    He's usually the one that rings me to talk or whatever, and he always complains that I never ring him. I hate talking on the phone though, I'd much rather text him.
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    Women generally initiate the conversaion I find, it may be possibly wrong but it's us guy who pluck up the courage to ask them out or approach them. I myself am I generally shy person so I do sometimes initiate conversation but it's usually the partner (if i had a GF)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've told him about it, and his explanation was that because he isnt working and not doing much, he has nothing to talk about. I could understand that but i just wondered why he wouldnt put some effort to just start a topic instead of saying "lol" mostly

    Maybe reducing the amount of communication is the only option.
    At least he knows why you're a bit annoyed. Most people on here are saying not to worry so that should reassure you a bit. I don't think you should worry, if you're fine in person that's the main thing. If you get loads of awkward silences when you're together that would be weird.

    I would try just leaving out the msn, and going for a nightly/so many times a week phone call. Msn's horrible, impersonal and things get taken the wrong way so easily on it. And if you're only speaking once a day (maybe occasional texts throughout the day or something) you'll have something to say, even if he just talks about what was on telly.
 
 
 
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