Relationship advice

Last Friday (20.05.05) I went to my friend's 18th party. Unusually I got completely sloshed (It usually takes a lot for me to get drunk so i don't usually manage it). Another friend brought her boyfriend with her who in turn brought a single guy friend of his. Having dutch courage I spent the entire night chatting to them and according to my friends completely embarrassing myself. At the end of the night I'd regained soberness and said to my friend how I wish I had the courage to ask the friend for his no. Being her, she went and told him and he apparently replied that he wanted to swap no's with me. Later on at the busstop i mentioned being cold and after being encouraged by his friend, this guy put his arm around me to keep me warm. We didn't pull tho. Later on that evening when I'd got home he texted me saying that he'd really liked getting to know me etc. and we carried on texting both that evening and then the next day. We finished when he mentioned a funny incident due to his drunkeness and I'd agreed how funny it was. All that day and the next, my friends were telling me how nice he was and how they'd seen actions from him which showed he liked me. Anyway on the Sunday evening (22.05.05) I texted him asking if he wanted to come to a party with us the next Saturday and that his friend (my friend's boyfriend) was also going. He still hasn't replied and it is now verging on 24 hours ago that i sent it. Everyone I've talked to has said that it's either cos he's shy (something he told me himself in a text), run out of credit etc... Doesn't make me feel any better bout it.
Any ideas?

Reply 1

Cazzi

12

Sarah234

Last Friday (20.05.05) I went to my friend's 18th party. Unusually I got completely sloshed (It usually takes a lot for me to get drunk so i don't usually manage it). Another friend brought her boyfriend with her who in turn brought a single guy friend of his. Having dutch courage I spent the entire night chatting to them and according to my friends completely embarrassing myself. At the end of the night I'd regained soberness and said to my friend how I wish I had the courage to ask the friend for his no. Being her, she went and told him and he apparently replied that he wanted to swap no's with me. Later on at the busstop i mentioned being cold and after being encouraged by his friend, this guy put his arm around me to keep me warm. We didn't pull tho. Later on that evening when I'd got home he texted me saying that he'd really liked getting to know me etc. and we carried on texting both that evening and then the next day. We finished when he mentioned a funny incident due to his drunkeness and I'd agreed how funny it was. All that day and the next, my friends were telling me how nice he was and how they'd seen actions from him which showed he liked me. Anyway on the Sunday evening (22.05.05) I texted him asking if he wanted to come to a party with us the next Saturday and that his friend (my friend's boyfriend) was also going. He still hasn't replied and it is now verging on 24 hours ago that i sent it. Everyone I've talked to has said that it's either cos he's shy (something he told me himself in a text), run out of credit etc... Doesn't make me feel any better bout it.
Any ideas?

Try ringing him a few times. if he dosent answer or hangs up accept defeat. :rolleyes:

Reply 2

Sarah234

OP

I usually go by the rule of alternate contacts though. You contact, he contacts etc.. Anymore seems desperate and obsessive

Reply 3

Tyler Durden

17

Sarah234

Last Friday (20.05.05) I went to my friend's 18th party. Unusually I got completely sloshed (It usually takes a lot for me to get drunk so i don't usually manage it). Another friend brought her boyfriend with her who in turn brought a single guy friend of his. Having dutch courage I spent the entire night chatting to them and according to my friends completely embarrassing myself. At the end of the night I'd regained soberness and said to my friend how I wish I had the courage to ask the friend for his no. Being her, she went and told him and he apparently replied that he wanted to swap no's with me. Later on at the busstop i mentioned being cold and after being encouraged by his friend, this guy put his arm around me to keep me warm. We didn't pull tho. Later on that evening when I'd got home he texted me saying that he'd really liked getting to know me etc. and we carried on texting both that evening and then the next day. We finished when he mentioned a funny incident due to his drunkeness and I'd agreed how funny it was. All that day and the next, my friends were telling me how nice he was and how they'd seen actions from him which showed he liked me. Anyway on the Sunday evening (22.05.05) I texted him asking if he wanted to come to a party with us the next Saturday and that his friend (my friend's boyfriend) was also going. He still hasn't replied and it is now verging on 24 hours ago that i sent it. Everyone I've talked to has said that it's either cos he's shy (something he told me himself in a text), run out of credit etc... Doesn't make me feel any better bout it.
Any ideas?

You wrote all that because he hasn't yet replied to a text about a party in a week's time? You know, I sent someone texts over a couple of days and they all arrived together in one go.

My point is that:

a. Texting is pretty unreliable.
b. If he hasn't text you back yet maybe he's out of credit.
c. Or he's making sure he's not got anything else on then.
d. Or any other of a million reasons.

I'd give him a ring! :smile:

Reply 4

saz_1989

2

I thought my new bf was ignoring me...turns out he just ran out of credit.

Do you get delivery reports? They're helpful - he might have run outta battery. Leave it till Wednesday or Thursday, then give him a text and say "hey, thought I txt u the other day, guess not, fancy party on sat? let me kno or i'll have to find another fitty to go with :wink:

" or something like that.

Reply 5

Tyler Durden

17

Sarah234

I usually go by the rule of alternate contacts though. You contact, he contacts etc.. Anymore seems desperate and obsessive

No offence, but it seems like you have some pretty funny ideas.

Let's imagine for a minute that he didn't get the text. Then imagine that everyone went by the rule of alternate contacts. You'd never speak to each other again! Just call him in a day or two. :p:

Reply 6

Sarah234

OP

lol Does no1 here use that rule?! Maybe I'm not explaining it right! Doesn't anyone everthink after they've texted a guy/gal He hasn't replied I dont wanna text again and seem desperate? cos all my friends think like that! If I seem over the top bout this it's just cos I do not have a love life AT ALL! I first pulled a guy when I was 16 and I've only pulled one other guy since that (I'm 18 in 2 months)

Reply 7

Phonicsdude

19

I follow that rule for emails. HE WILL have got the text! But obviously you dont want to leave it TOO long before contacting him again! Phone him tomorrow if you still havnt had a reply!

Reply 8

ruthiepoothie

11

englishstudent

No offence, but it seems like you have some pretty funny ideas.

Let's imagine for a minute that he didn't get the text. Then imagine that everyone went by the rule of alternate contacts. You'd never speak to each other again! Just call him in a day or two. :p:

He he, I tend to get a bit paranoid....like at the moment it seems to be me making contact with my bf.....and i start to wonder why and get worried etc....then i have to pull myself together and tell myself that he's just being lovely cos i have 3 exams this week and probably doesn't want to interrupt me, and he always replies if I text or email him...and I should be seeing him on thursday...

So just try and keep things in perspective!! Easier said than done i know :smile:

Ruthie xx

Reply 9

Sarah234

OP

I have actually got an arrangement with my friend (the one whose boyfriend is this guys friend), she's gonna get her bf to ask this guy if anythings happened between us cos I (supposedly) wont tell her anything lol I'm such a loser lol

Reply 10

username18215

10

Sarah234

Last Friday (20.05.05) I went to my friend's 18th party. Unusually I got completely sloshed (It usually takes a lot for me to get drunk so i don't usually manage it). Another friend brought her boyfriend with her who in turn brought a single guy friend of his. Having dutch courage I spent the entire night chatting to them and according to my friends completely embarrassing myself. At the end of the night I'd regained soberness and said to my friend how I wish I had the courage to ask the friend for his no. Being her, she went and told him and he apparently replied that he wanted to swap no's with me. Later on at the busstop i mentioned being cold and after being encouraged by his friend, this guy put his arm around me to keep me warm. We didn't pull tho. Later on that evening when I'd got home he texted me saying that he'd really liked getting to know me etc. and we carried on texting both that evening and then the next day. We finished when he mentioned a funny incident due to his drunkeness and I'd agreed how funny it was. All that day and the next, my friends were telling me how nice he was and how they'd seen actions from him which showed he liked me. Anyway on the Sunday evening (22.05.05) I texted him asking if he wanted to come to a party with us the next Saturday and that his friend (my friend's boyfriend) was also going. He still hasn't replied and it is now verging on 24 hours ago that i sent it. Everyone I've talked to has said that it's either cos he's shy (something he told me himself in a text), run out of credit etc... Doesn't make me feel any better bout it.
Any ideas?

Remember to breathe!

He will txt you back, do not fear.

Reply 11

Sarah234

OP

But when?!

Reply 12

Lorzy

1

Sarah234

lol Does no1 here use that rule?! Maybe I'm not explaining it right! Doesn't anyone everthink after they've texted a guy/gal He hasn't replied I dont wanna text again and seem desperate? cos all my friends think like that! If I seem over the top bout this it's just cos I do not have a love life AT ALL! I first pulled a guy when I was 16 and I've only pulled one other guy since that (I'm 18 in 2 months)

I use that rule Sarah, don't worry! In fact, its only after reading this thread that i've thought about any other text strategy! I'm glad i've looked at this though, am in a similar situation myself. Oh well, mountains out of molehills! :rolleyes:

Reply 13

Adhsur

15

Sarah234

I usually go by the rule of alternate contacts though. You contact, he contacts etc.. Anymore seems desperate and obsessive

That's crazy. It means you put matters of pride over more meaningful routineless contact.

Reply 14

Sarah234

OP

Panic over! He replied this morning. Said he had run out of credit. He says that he's not sure if he can make the party but shall try. Any interpretations anyone? Does he like me? I will die if he reads this.

Reply 15

magiccarpet

2

Sarah234

Panic over! He replied this morning. Said he had run out of credit. He says that he's not sure if he can make the party but shall try. Any interpretations anyone? Does he like me? I will die if he reads this.

hmmm maybe he cant make the party cos he's busy???

if he didnt wana see u, then whyd he bother the txt u? he still liks u so calm down!

Reply 16

Sarah234

OP

lol I know, im sad :smile:

Reply 17

magiccarpet

2

no worries girl. i think u should go anyway and enjoy yoself

Reply 18

khil

15

Sarah234

lol Does no1 here use that rule?! Maybe I'm not explaining it right! Doesn't anyone everthink after they've texted a guy/gal He hasn't replied I dont wanna text again and seem desperate? cos all my friends think like that! If I seem over the top bout this it's just cos I do not have a love life AT ALL! I first pulled a guy when I was 16 and I've only pulled one other guy since that (I'm 18 in 2 months)

Would you rather be driven mad with confusion or would you rather break this tiny rule for someone you sincerely like, just to get an answer, even if it's a no, cus at least then you know?

Anyway, if you like him so much and he likes you, isn't it worth it to actually make special effort rather than keep to you rule? I have a similar rule myself - I'd text, or email, I'd wait a bit - with text maybe a few hours, or not text again at all. With emails I'd wait a few weeks, a month or two - then I'd contact again, see how they are. If they reply, I reply. If they don't, again I leave it for a bit. Just to let them know I care, I wanna stay in contact, but I'm not gonna pester you or stalk you if you don't want my attention. And I'd confront the person if I suspect he/she's avoiding me or something cus I wanna know why. I'd rather know, then not know. But I also don't expect instant replies cus I understand people's busy. And my rule is, if they never ever reply after a few attempts over a few months or a year - then I'd give up. I might still email now and again, see how they are. But I wouldn't pester them with something every week or something cus I know the message.

So yeh, that's my rule - I try to show I care and it's important to me, but I also try not to pester people - and give me the word and I'll leave you alone. Just let me KNOW lol!

Reply 19

khil

15

Sarah234

Panic over! He replied this morning. Said he had run out of credit. He says that he's not sure if he can make the party but shall try. Any interpretations anyone? Does he like me? I will die if he reads this.

Advice to you girl - don't read so much into things! Stop worrying - just let things flow. If the feeling is mutual, something will happen sooner or later.

And lol is he on TSR?

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