And as simple as it might seem to stop, I dont know how to or if I can.
I think he used to find me funny but now my 'jokes' aren't really funny, if anything they're just insulting. And I know what gets to him and just keep going at it until I get some sort of response.
And probably even worse, I have a tendency to put him down infront of other people, again, thinking its funny. Yet these days he doesnt find it funny. It is almost like I've eroded his self esteem now, not cool.
The problem is I often feel pretty **** myself these days and so I'm not particularly sympathetic and half the jokes I make have some element of truth and I kind of believe so its pretty hard to stop. No idea what else we would chat about if I just didnt banter.
Oh and I'm also bad at apologising. I mean I'll say I'm sorry I know I'm a **** but I wont address everything I say, probably partly because I believe some of what I say. Yep I know, I'm bad.
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I'm really horrible to my best mate watch
- Thread Starter
- 16-07-2009 03:55
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- Wiki Support Team
- 16-07-2009 03:59
Stop now? I mean, make whatever excuses you like about how hard it is, but you know it's what you need to do. So find a way of doing it. Or run the risk of losing him.
- 16-07-2009 11:03
This is your BEST mate!!!
I hate to think of what you do to your acquaintances and other friends...
Regardless...you need to grow up and be a better friend.
With banter...you stop before it goes too far and if it does go too far, you sling your arm round your mate and say "sorry it's only for laughs you'll get me next time" and ask if u can do something little for them.
- 16-07-2009 11:45
At least you have realised what you are doing before its too late to make amends.
It sounds like you are feeling pretty low and you are just taking it out on your best mate because you know that hes not going to say anything or retort back. You must know that this isnt really fair, or else you wouldnt have posted this.
I think you need to make an active effort to stop making little digs and try and boost him up by giving a few compliments here and there. Its not too late to make things better but you must keep it in mind that he doesnt owe you anything and if you don't stop I think there is a big risk you will lose him as a friend.
- 16-07-2009 11:49
Why do it?
You won't be happy when you have no friends
- 16-07-2009 11:49
Then stop being so ******* horrible? It's that simple, if you really want to show him that you appreciate him and that he's your best mate, it shouldn't be too hard. Don't let your own little insecurities dampen other people spirits. Whenever I am down or upset I still greet people with a smile, it's not hard.
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- 16-07-2009 11:52
I'm the same with as good as all of my mates...At least the ones in my year at school. I had loads of friends in year 11, but they've left now. I still see them outside school, a bit. Being left in a group of people I don't really know or like overly is hard though...It's like I know I wouldn't be there if I had a choice.
I get soo angry, and then just block the people out who try to help me.
And my 'jokes' are almost always scathingly sarcastic.
Sorry for the rant.
OP: I think I know how you feel. I wouldn't try and force yourself to change. You could explain to him how you feel. Then he might understand and be even more tollerant to you, giving you time to get yourself sorted.
- 16-07-2009 11:59
You're the kind of people that get a cheeky right hook on the chin. Be careful..