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    I'm being driven insane in my sleep

    I keep dreaming over and over again that my boyfriend has been unfaithful or I've caught him sending texts. It's not just the odd one and it's getting more and more frequent.

    I could understand if I had suspicions or if he'd been caught before but as far as I know (see I'm doubting him now :mad: ) He's not done anything wrong!!

    Why am I having these dreams?? Can I make them stop?? This is the third time this week I've woken up in sweats after having dreampt that I'd either been sobbing or having a masive argument/fight. I don't wana risk going back to sleep.

    I keep feeling the need to check out my window to reassure myself that it didn't happen

    Also, I honestly think they are getting worse too. It's not just an upsetting dream anymore it's one where I've actually come close to breaking down... I can actually feel it in my sleep, if that's possible. I even have pains in my body from things I've supposedly done in the dream. Right now I have a twisted ankle... just from dreaming! It hurts and I want to sleep, in peace!!

    Help me, I have no idea what to do and it's making me doubt my relationship. I've started to feel quite on edge with him now and he's noticed. I've also felt awkward towards my parents after they've been involved in one. I always tell my boyfriend what I've dreampt etc but it doesn't stop more happening.

    Is there anything I can do? Should I actually be worried about my relationship? I've started to half believe the things I've dreampt and it's affecting my relationship life, I've even considered ending it because I'm feeling so insecure. Although maybe this is something that can be fixed, my biggest real worry is starting my first real job in about a month and having to go in after not sleeping I'm not a morning person at the best of times, let alone after a night like tonight.

    I actually have some kind of hope that sharing this will help it stop... bit of a long shot though.

    Who the **** invented dreaming? ******* meanies


    Old thread!! Just replied to some recent posts
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    I've heard of this disorder! Chronic dream something....it can develop into something serious if you don't treat it. Honestly, get it checked out































    Just kidding. :woo:


    Read Phillip Pullman's books before you sleep.....you'll have dreams about those books every night. Tried and tested.
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    (Original post by Hogo)
    I've heard of this disorder! Chronic dream something....it can develop into something serious if you don't treat it. Honestly, get it checked out

    Just kidding. :woo:


    Read Phillip Pullman's books before you sleep.....you'll have dreams about those books every night. Tried and tested.
    Now THAT was harsh, although I actually didn't believe you and was about to neg you hard for giving me ****!

    I'll look those books up. Have you used them or know someone who does? Don;t want to waste money (I'm poor) but willing to spend if they will go away. I'm constantly tired and insecure just from god damn dreams.
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    OP, go to bed later, you won't sleep as long and are less likely to go into a deep enough state of rest to have vivid dreams. Cheap solution.
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    (Original post by Reaver)
    OP, go to bed later, you won't sleep as long and are less likely to go into a deep enough state of rest to have vivid dreams. Cheap solution.
    Interesting, seeing as I have just started going to bed earlier to get up for things... maybe that's why.

    I'll try it, thanks.
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    Just break up with your boyfriend? If ya dont have a boyfriend ya wont be so scared of someone cheating on ya.
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    Wiki Support Team
    Have you thought about talking to your boyfriend about this?
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    (Original post by generalebriety)
    Have you thought about talking to your boyfriend about this?
    I've told him about what I dream, he reassures me and everything but obviously that doesn't help my overly suspicious mind anymore Don't know what else he could do?
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    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    Now THAT was harsh, although I actually didn't believe you and was about to neg you hard for giving me ****!

    I'll look those books up. Have you used them or know someone who does? Don;t want to waste money (I'm poor) but willing to spend if they will go away. I'm constantly tired and insecure just from god damn dreams.
    He's a great fiction writer and, regardless of the rest of this thread, you should read through Northern Lights right now.
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    (Original post by estel)
    He's a great fiction writer and, regardless of the rest of this thread, you should read through Northern Lights right now.
    Oh I so would if I had it. Just read the plot summary... sounds bizarre. Thanks for your suggestion.
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    I have had a similar dream and felt the pain i have started to think its just me being paranoid but then he talks to this girl on facebook and they say things that i wouldnt dream of saying to my male friends wgich then the dreams dont help for example like walking in on them whilst they are in bed together doing what you can think of an i dont know what to do ive looked up loads of things but nothing is helpin i have know got a dream catcher above my bed but when i dont sleep with it above my bed the bad dreams occur and its horrible
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    I know how you feel! My boyfriend and I have been together nearly a year and a half now, and we are both about to go to seperate unis. We havent spoken about what we are going to do yet, as in stay together, see each other every 3weeks or whatever. But Ive been having similar dreams! Walking in on him with another girl etc And i end up getting really pissed off with him in real life, and Im now getting really anxious that this is going to come true. It's horrible I havent spoken to him about any of this yet, but Im thinking I should, like you have. I do find that if I listen to music as Im going to sleep, I don't have so many of these bad dreams. You may want to try that
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    (Original post by DanniiSchnizzle)
    I have had a similar dream and felt the pain i have started to think its just me being paranoid but then he talks to this girl on facebook and they say things that i wouldnt dream of saying to my male friends wgich then the dreams dont help for example like walking in on them whilst they are in bed together doing what you can think of an i dont know what to do ive looked up loads of things but nothing is helpin i have know got a dream catcher above my bed but when i dont sleep with it above my bed the bad dreams occur and its horrible
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know how you feel! My boyfriend and I have been together nearly a year and a half now, and we are both about to go to seperate unis. We havent spoken about what we are going to do yet, as in stay together, see each other every 3weeks or whatever. But Ive been having similar dreams! Walking in on him with another girl etc And i end up getting really pissed off with him in real life, and Im now getting really anxious that this is going to come true. It's horrible I havent spoken to him about any of this yet, but Im thinking I should, like you have. I do find that if I listen to music as Im going to sleep, I don't have so many of these bad dreams. You may want to try that
    Hi guys - thread starter here.

    This thread is actually ridiculously old - 2 years - and although it's all over now; both the dreams and our relationship - I thought I'd just stop by to reply because I realised a few things after we broke up, like you do... hindsight and all that :rolleyes: and just thought I'd share.

    Although I wasn't willing to admit it at the time, there was always something, maybe wrong is too harsh, but something not quite right and at the time I couldn't put my finger on it and most of the time I just let it go. Now I can look back and say that it was trust. I didn't really have any reason not to trust him, and it wasn't necessarily a lack of trust in fidelity or whatever, there was just something about him that I didn't feel at ease with. I'm sure you both know as well as I do that in dreams things often don't make sense, or seem to be a warped view on something. I am now absolutely convinced that this lack of trust was shown in by dreams by me imagining him cheating. Again, it's not that I didn't trust him with girls, I just think that's how the lack of trust was portrayed in my dreams.

    I'm not gona sit and lecture you that you should confront your boyfriends about something; it could well be the messages you see, or the fact that things are changing. But what I would do is to consider what it is about your relationship that is actually giving you a bad feeling and confront that. I wish I had have done. So f it is the messages to another girl, bring it up. If it is going to uni, talk about it until it's not having such a big influence on you any more.

    People will no doubt say 'Come on it's just a dream :rolleyes:' But as you can probably both tell, it also influences the way you act towards your boyfriend, the trust you have in him is disturbed and it can give you a genuinely bad feeling throughout the day. Obviously this might not help to fix it, but I'm just giving you an idea of what I would have done, had I known then what I do now. The biggest weight off my shoulders for me has been not having this niggling feeling in the back of my mind. So go confront whatever it is does it to you, 'cause these things don't just go away by themselves. Hope all works out for the best for both of you x
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    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    Hi guys - thread starter here.

    This thread is actually ridiculously old - 2 years - and although it's all over now, both the dreams and our relationship I thought I'd just stop by to reply because I realised a few things after we broke up, like you do... hindsight and all that :rolleyes: and just thought I'd share.

    Although I wasn't willing to admit it at the time, there was always something, maybe wrong is too harsh, but something not quite right and at the time I couldn't put my finger on it and most of the time I just let it go. Now I can look back and say that it was trust. I didn't really have any reason not to trust him, and it wasn't necessarily a lack of trust in fidelity or whatever, there was just something about him that I didn't feel at ease with. I'm sure you both know as well as I do that in dreams things often don't make sense, or seem to be a warped view on something. I am now absolutely convinced that this lack of trust was shown in by dreams by me imagining him cheating. Again, it's not that I didn't trust him with girls, I just think that's how the lack of trust was portrayed in my dreams.

    I'm not gona sit and lecture you that you should confront your boyfriends about something; it could well be the messages you see, or the fact that things are changing. But what I would do is to consider what it is about your relationship that is actually giving you a bad feeling and confront that. I wish I had have done. So f it is the messages to another girl, bring it up. If it is going to uni, talk about it until it's not having such a big influence on you any more.

    People will no doubt say 'Come on it's just a dream :rolleyes:' But as you can probably both tell, it also influences the way you act towards your boyfriend, the trust you have in him is disturbed and it can give you a genuinely bad feeling throughout the day. Obviously this might not help to fix it, but I'm just giving you an idea of what I would have done, had I known then what I do now. The biggest weight off my shoulders for me has been not having this niggling feeling in the back of my mind. So go confront whatever it is does it to you, 'cause these things don't just go away by themselves. Hope all works out for the best for both of you x
    I know I didn't participate in this thread first time round, but I still found it very interesting! I wish more people would update their stories on TSR. Might help out a lot of people with similar problems down the line... should be like the thing on Amazon where they pester you for feedback weeks after you've received the book.

    Anyway. What I wanted to ask. This thing about the niggling feeling... if it is, as you say, a lack of trust - then can it really be worked on? I've just always believed the things like 'niggling feelings' are actually representative of a bigger chasm that exists between the people in a relationship. In other words, that they are fundamentally different people and that is where the lack of trust springs from, and why it cannot be changed (at least, I don't believe you can change someone.) In which case it's best just to let go and find someone more compatible. What do you think?
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    (Original post by Bonfire)
    I know I didn't participate in this thread first time round, but I still found it very interesting! I wish more people would update their stories on TSR. Might help out a lot of people with similar problems down the line... should be like the thing on Amazon where they pester you for feedback weeks after you've received the book.

    Anyway. What I wanted to ask. This thing about the niggling feeling... if it is, as you say, a lack of trust - then can it really be worked on? I've just always believed the things like 'niggling feelings' are actually representative of a bigger chasm that exists between the people in a relationship. In other words, that they are fundamentally different people and that is where the lack of trust springs from, and why it cannot be changed (at least, I don't believe you can change someone.) In which case it's best just to let go and find someone more compatible. What do you think?
    Haha yeh the few times I've read updates on stories I've thought it was a good idea Plus I didn't want to look like I was ignoring the posters

    I should really have expanded on it a bit more for it to make sense to outsiders - my fault.

    While I somewhat agree - well, I would seeing as we broke up! - I think the difference is that I kind of knew where this niggling feeling was coming from...

    sorry, I swear my ex is the devil: Every time I talk about him he turns up talking to me on Facebook or texting me :/ anyway...

    but obviously dreams twist things into something else so at the time I think I was just paranoid about everything. But yeh, now I think I should have just confronted the things I suspected, when I tried to at the time I was always worried it'd break the relationship, even if I was wrong and everything was in fact fine... which definitely didn't seem worth risking, at the time!

    Other than that I can kind of agree, sometimes it really is just because you're just not right for each other. Although, I guess that's possibly harder to decide? :dontknow:
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    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    Haha yeh the few times I've read updates on stories I've thought it was a good idea Plus I didn't want to look like I was ignoring the posters

    I should really have expanded on it a bit more for it to make sense to outsiders - my fault.

    While I somewhat agree - well, I would seeing as we broke up! - I think the difference is that I kind of knew where this niggling feeling was coming from...

    sorry, I swear my ex is the devil: Every time I talk about him he turns up talking to me on Facebook or texting me :/ anyway...

    but obviously dreams twist things into something else so at the time I think I was just paranoid about everything. But yeh, now I think I should have just confronted the things I suspected, when I tried to at the time I was always worried it'd break the relationship, even if I was wrong and everything was in fact fine... which definitely didn't seem worth risking, at the time!

    Other than that I can kind of agree, sometimes it really is just because you're just not right for each other. Although, I guess that's possibly harder to decide? :dontknow:
    Why did you break up? And who broke with who?

    Its funny looking at old threads of relationships on TSR.

    My ex broke with me 2 months ago, we was together for 9 months. I looked back at 2 threads I made when we was first dating, and the threads were about "How can I let this girl down gently while we're dating? I'm not sure about her" etc. In the end I fell completely in love with her.

    But, its strange looking back...at first I wasn't that attracted to her. And now I'm struggling to get over her. Haha.
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    (Original post by rj1990)
    Why did you break up? And who broke with who?

    Its funny looking at old threads of relationships on TSR.

    My ex broke with me 2 months ago, we was together for 9 months. I looked back at 2 threads I made when we was first dating, and the threads were about "How can I let this girl down gently while we're dating? I'm not sure about her" etc. In the end I fell completely in love with her.

    But, its strange looking back...at first I wasn't that attracted to her. And now I'm struggling to get over her. Haha.
    Well I realised that he was a compulsive liar, but nobody had to do the breaking up as he made a serious, unforgivable, **** up.

    Yeh funny how things turn out how you don't expect and how they change!

    I actually brushed most of our problems aside, I don't think I ever saw 'forever' in us, but we did have some fantastic times so I have no regrets - which is nice to be able to say!
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    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    Well I realised that he was a compulsive liar, but nobody had to do the breaking up as he made a serious, unforgivable, **** up.

    Yeh funny how things turn out how you don't expect and how they change!

    I actually brushed most of our problems aside, I don't think I ever saw 'forever' in us, but we did have some fantastic times so I have no regrets - which is nice to be able to say!
    I'm guessing the **** up was pretty bad. If a partner cheated or whatever then I'd finish it within a second every time, especially if I always had a niggling trust issue like you did, and I had a similar feeling to be honest.

    Like I said, with my ex, at first I didn't have much of a natural attracion to her. Stood her up on 1 or 2 dates at first. hehe. But within a few months I became completely in love with her. BUT, is strange. ALWAYS I had a trust issue with her, although she never lied or nothing, and I too had the odd nightmare dream. Nothing terrible happened in our relationship but, well, she was the first to fall head over heels in love with me, then at the end of the relationship it was the complete opposite.

    So strange how things work out.
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    Just tell yourself how ridiculous it is that you're letting dreams affect your personal life.
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    I have similar dreams, so I go to dreammoods.com
    "To dream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you, highlights your insecurities and your fears of being abandoned. You feel that you are being taken for granted. You are lacking attention in the relationship or that he or she is being less affectionate. Alternatively, you feel that you are not measuring up to the expectations of others."
 
 
 
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