The Student Room Group

Pushing away a girl.

So I had a first date with a girl on Monday and it went really well, at the end she said she wants me to show her around my hometown sometime so that was great.

trouble is I got too ahead of myself now and already told her I really like her (about 3 times i said this) which was dumb, I think i definitely annoyed her last night. I had also sent a lot of texts and had no response but I am not surprised as I was acting a bit too intense.

I don't think I have completely messed it up yet but I need some advice on getting to normal with her, I have came across so far as clingy and rather desperate I think..

a friend told me that I should lay off and stop jumping on her the moment she signs on msn and that I should stop texting so much which I agreed with, he also said that I should play it a bit cooler by talking to her a little bit (about 10 mins after she signs on) but then say I have to go and that I will maybe talk to her later...etc

Anyone got any advice? I messed up with her pretty bad by getting too into it already but I really like her and wanna get that second date still, I was planning on seeing her next week sometime so I still have some time to fix things and prove that I am not clingy. I just hope that I can sort things for next week so she is willing to come over to my town.

Do you think it's still fixable? I know I just need to 'play it cool' but it is harder than it sounds, now however I am at the point where I know it's the only way forward!

I'm not actually a clingy person when in a relationship though, but after a first date that goes well I get a bit too into it and that can be a big downhill slope to come back from.

Any more advice? I am a bit hopeless with the proceedings after a first date and have only had 1 semi-serious relationship in the past.
Reply 1
Follow your friend's advice.
I think you are right, it does sound fixable so try not to panic. If shes not texting back then I agree, sounds like its best to leave it for a little while as people tend to reply if they want to.
Try and wait for her to start convos on MSN as if she does like you then she will make the effort and you can't expect things to all be one way anyway.

Just leave it to cool down for a few days and see what happens! If its meant to work out and you do both like each other then I'm sure it will develop into something sooner or later.
sounds like a definite turn off. girls like to work for a guys affection. dont go mean on her. just a little less desperate.
Reply 4
Totally depends what type of girl she is. More needy girls find constant attention important, others do find it a bit annoying. I don't blame her for not replying to the texts, however I'm sure you can turn the situation around, don't panic :smile:
Reply 5
Anonymous
So I had a first date with a girl on Monday and it went really well, at the end she said she wants me to show her around my hometown sometime so that was great.

trouble is I got too ahead of myself now and already told her I really like her (about 3 times i said this) which was dumb, I think i definitely annoyed her last night. I had also sent a lot of texts and had no response but I am not surprised as I was acting a bit too intense.

I don't think I have completely messed it up yet but I need some advice on getting to normal with her, I have came across so far as clingy and rather desperate I think..

a friend told me that I should lay off and stop jumping on her the moment she signs on msn and that I should stop texting so much which I agreed with, he also said that I should play it a bit cooler by talking to her a little bit (about 10 mins after she signs on) but then say I have to go and that I will maybe talk to her later...etc

Anyone got any advice? I messed up with her pretty bad by getting too into it already but I really like her and wanna get that second date still, I was planning on seeing her next week sometime so I still have some time to fix things and prove that I am not clingy. I just hope that I can sort things for next week so she is willing to come over to my town.

Do you think it's still fixable? I know I just need to 'play it cool' but it is harder than it sounds, now however I am at the point where I know it's the only way forward!

I'm not actually a clingy person when in a relationship though, but after a first date that goes well I get a bit too into it and that can be a big downhill slope to come back from.

Any more advice? I am a bit hopeless with the proceedings after a first date and have only had 1 semi-serious relationship in the past.


Follow your mates advice until she seems more comfortable again etc. Don't keep telling her you like her either lol, she understood the first time. You don't have to chat to her on msn all the time either lol, that's going to make you seem overly eager imo, as though you sign in specifically to chat to her.

After a while when things seem better, casually suggest a second date. And don't mess up again lol. Although i know it's not easy, i get like that sometimes lol.
Ok this is your second thread on it, your getting the same answers just play it cool.
Your friend's advice is wise. Don't show interest, it always (in my experience) makes the girl more interested in you. Strange world...
Reply 8
Yeah apologies for the second thread, I made the thread without Anon because I thought this one didn't come through first. My bad folks.

Cheers for the advice though, always useful. Now to put it into place.
as a girl I can say that when boys you barely know tell you that they like you and keep texting, it kinda scare me. Maybe some girls think differently. But I think you should give her some space because she may not be sure about what she wants and doesn't want to hurt your feelings. If she really likes you, she'll let you know. Just relax and it'll be ok.

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