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Muslims, am I allowed to go to my white friends funeral? watch

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    My best friend died of cancer recently (at only the age of 15) and his funeral is going to be next week. I was so shocked when I heard the news, he meant so much to me and I haven't stopped crying since.

    But my dad always shouts at me when he sees me crying in my bed (when I think I'm alone and just let everything out). Apparently 'he's just a white man, what does he mean to you?' I'm not allowed to argue back, to argue that regardless of colour, race, religion, whatever I am totally hurt and genuinely really really saddened by his death, it hurts so much because I'm meant to be 'daddy's good little girl who cooks and cleans and stays at home'. URGH, it makes me so angry ...

    'Your brothers in Palestine are being murdered every day and do you cry then?'

    That's all he ever drills in me, but what the hell do random men in Palestine have to do with me?!?

    And now he's not letting me go to his funeral because of our cultural/religious differences apparently and the fact that he's male

    But Muslims, is he actually allowed to do this?? Is there anything in the Quran that says we can't go to others' funerals??

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    I don't think what is in the Quran will matter to your father, he seems to be one of those people that have learned a certain adaptation of religious teaching that can't be swayed. As far as my knowledge goes there is no specific teaching about which funerals a Muslim can and cannot attend.

    If your father has prohibitted you from attending the funeral you are left with three options:
    a) Accept his orders and don't go
    b) Go anyway and deal with the rest later
    c) Try to change his mind.


    If you go for option c) I'd recommend going for a calm approach rather than going in with guns blazing. Explain that you do care about your brothers in Palestine but can't go to their funerals, this guy was a friend of yours and even though he was white you'd like to say goodbye.
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    Go for the sake of your friend, who gives a **** what your dad thinks! I'm pretty sure it's not prohibited in the quaran to go to the funeral of a white person...
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    That's ******* terrible. Is there anyway you could go without him knowing? I think you'll regret it later if you don't go.
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    ******* ridiculous.
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    (Original post by rscully)
    I don't think what is in the Quran will matter to your father, he seems to be one of those people that have learned a certain adaptation of religious teaching that can't be swayed. As far as my knowledge goes there is no specific teaching about which funerals a Muslim can and cannot attend.

    If your father has prohibitted you from attending the funeral you are left with three options:
    a) Accept his orders and don't go
    b) Go anyway and deal with the rest later
    c) Try to change his mind.


    If you go for option c) I'd recommend going for a calm approach rather than going in with guns blazing. Explain that you do care about your brothers in Palestine but can't go to their funerals, this guy was a friend of yours and even though he was white you'd like to say goodbye.
    aww, this really sucks =(.
    I think you should go as you need closure.
    Can you speak to your mum? Would that do any good?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My best friend died of cancer recently (at only the age of 15) and his funeral is going to be next week. I was so shocked when I heard the news, he meant so much to me and I haven't stopped crying since.

    But my dad always shouts at me when he sees me crying in my bed (when I think I'm alone and just let everything out). Apparently 'he's just a white man, what does he mean to you?' I'm not allowed to argue back, to argue that regardless of colour, race, religion, whatever I am totally hurt and genuinely really really saddened by his death, it hurts so much because I'm meant to be 'daddy's good little girl who cooks and cleans and stays at home'. URGH, it makes me so angry ...

    'Your brothers in Palestine are being murdered every day and do you cry then?'

    That's all he ever drills in me, but what the hell do random men in Palestine have to do with me?!?

    And now he's not letting me go to his funeral because of our cultural/religious differences apparently and the fact that he's male

    But Muslims, is he actually allowed to do this?? Is there anything in the Quran that says we can't go to others' funerals??

    No there is not.
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    Sounds like it's not much to do with religion, it's more to do with the fact your dad is a complete ****.
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    (Original post by Psyk)
    Sounds like it's not much to do with religion, it's more to do with the fact your dad is a complete ****.
    :ditto:
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    Your father is a *******.

    Go to your friends funeral and say your goodbyes He clearly meant a lot to you. Oh, remind your dad he is free to **** off to Palestine whenever he pleases and leave us "white men" to it. What a racist prick he is.
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    Its not ridiculous. You're dad has a certain belief, and form experience i know that sometimes its just their ignorance -not arrogance that leads them to force things upon you. You should say that you want to pay respects to his funeral because its the last thing you will be able to do for him. As for the 'brothers in palestine' - say that everytime you pray you're praying for them but for this boy - going to the funeral would show that your thoughts are with him.

    Any help? xD
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    i bloody hope your going. islam has nothing to do with racism, your dad is a racist
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    Honestly, I would reject any religion, friend or family member that wouldn't "allow" me to go to a friends funeral. It's ridiculous how people submit to this ****
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    It's permissable if you avoid free-mixing and any religious service itself.

    Although - it's likely you knew this guy through free-mixing, soooo...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My best friend died of cancer recently (at only the age of 15) and his funeral is going to be next week. I was so shocked when I heard the news, he meant so much to me and I haven't stopped crying since.

    But my dad always shouts at me when he sees me crying in my bed (when I think I'm alone and just let everything out). Apparently 'he's just a white man, what does he mean to you?' I'm not allowed to argue back, to argue that regardless of colour, race, religion, whatever I am totally hurt and genuinely really really saddened by his death, it hurts so much because I'm meant to be 'daddy's good little girl who cooks and cleans and stays at home'. URGH, it makes me so angry ...

    'Your brothers in Palestine are being murdered every day and do you cry then?'

    That's all he ever drills in me, but what the hell do random men in Palestine have to do with me?!?

    And now he's not letting me go to his funeral because of our cultural/religious differences apparently and the fact that he's male

    But Muslims, is he actually allowed to do this?? Is there anything in the Quran that says we can't go to others' funerals??

    Yes, according to the religion, he is allowed to do this. :s In fact, according to some hadith, when passing a graveyard with non-muslim graves, a muslim must say, "wa basharakum bin nar" - may you burn in the fire. It's bits of the religion like that that i hate. And women are not supposed to visit the graveyard anyway.

    This had happened to me a few years ago, my friend was hit by a bunch of drunk idiots in their car. i went to the funeral anyway. Although tbh I knew that my parents wouldn't allow it, so i told them the funeral was on some other day, and that I was going somewhere else.

    I'm sorry for your loss, no one deserves to go at 15. Go to the funeral, deal with your father afterward. It won't be easy or nice, but you'll always regret it otherwise.
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    Ok i'm not muslim and I am white so I don't know how much help this will be as its not from a muslim perspective.

    I don't agree with the way your dad has gone about handling this. Tbh he is being quite racist towards white people, BUT before everyone hits the roof saying I'm wrong I do think he is just trying to bring to your attention that you should also support Palestinian people.

    However I don't know many people that cry over people they don't know, so you if you reacted the same way to the deaths of Palestinian people as you have done to your friend then you will be crying quite alot!

    I would say you should be able to have your independence and go to the funeral if YOU want and your dad should understand that you can love whoever you want no matter of race or culture.
    You should probably reasure you dad that you fully support the palestinian people and you know where hes coming from but this is something you have to do.
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    (Original post by booraad)
    It's permissable if you avoid free-mixing and any religious service itself.

    Although - it's likely you knew this guy through free-mixing, soooo...
    So no? Urgh, the free-mixing was only because of school (didn't get into any of the local girls schools - but boy am i glad xD) but I really doubt they'll split up the men and women there..

    Urgh, it's almost impossible for me to go at the moment, and i feel like total ****
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    Go to the funeral. He's talking rubbish. When my friend died she had a church funeral and there were loads of muslims there. Your dad is just being a racist pr*ck. (No offense, but he is!)
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    Go to the funeral. If your dad is saying that, then he doesn't deserve your respect. Neither does anyone else who's like that. It's ******* twisted.
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    (Original post by saab_101)
    Yes, according to the religion, he is allowed to do this. :s In fact, according to some hadith, when passing a graveyard with non-muslim graves, a muslim must say, "wa basharakum bin nar" - may you burn in the fire. It's bits of the religion like that that i hate. And women are not supposed to visit the graveyard anyway.

    This had happened to me a few years ago, my friend was hit by a bunch of drunk idiots in their car. i went to the funeral anyway. Although tbh I knew that my parents wouldn't allow it, so i told them the funeral was on some other day, and that I was going somewhere else.

    I'm sorry for your loss, no one deserves to go at 15. Go to the funeral, deal with your father afterward. It won't be easy or nice, but you'll always regret it otherwise.
    :-/

    That's so ****** up
 
 
 
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