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Muslims, am I allowed to go to my white friends funeral? watch

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    (Original post by loopykitten!)
    Oh my god, this is YOUR friend!! just go to the funeral, i think to be honest your dad just doesn't understand and never will but its nothing to do with him and you need to go for you and for your friend.

    If your dad gets mad, just try to explain that it doesn't matter what colour his skin was or what religion he was, he meant the world to you as a friend.
    Do you honestly believe that though, that after lying, and going against her father wishes hes just going to say 'oh maybe your right, yeah you should have gone, i can see he was a good friend', this approach is going to land her in so much trouble.
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    (Original post by yoyo462001)
    Do you honestly believe that though, that after lying, and going against her father wishes hes just going to say 'oh maybe your right, yeah you should have gone, i can see he was a good friend', this approach is going to land her in so much trouble.
    It's actually the principle though - she shouldn't not go just 'not to get in trouble', her dad needs to understand and if he can't, then that's his problem. What about the OP's mum?
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    This is a wonderful example of refusing reciprocation on faith acceptance - although not to be a generalisation. I have been to a muslim family friend's wedding in a mosque, and I'm Catholic. That isn't forbidden, so I don't see why the funeral would be. Granted it's possibly going to be a Christian service, but who says that you have to even utter "Amen" to the prayers?

    Don't beat yourself about it being another faith if you decide to go. Your friend is more important and you are there for them - I bet their family would be delighted to see you went.

    You may have to lie to your Dad, but you're grown and he can't lord power over you for ever - he can "forbid" you from going and maybe frighten you with consequences, but if he doesn't know then he can't do anything. It won't be an act of disrespect at all, far from it, you are showing great respect for your friend and your decision to go will be based on "love" for want of a better word, which is important in any faith.

    Just go
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    (Original post by anisha.doshi)
    What about the OP's mum?
    I think culture wise in this situation, the mother will have very little say, and possibly no choice but to side with the OP's father. Pathetic isn't it :mad:
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    (Original post by Spacecam)
    I think culture wise in this situation, the mother will have very little say, and possibly no choice but to side with the OP's father. Pathetic isn't it :mad:
    :sigh: I guess I should've known....

    Jeez, everything just seems so downright backwards. Whatever happened to independence and free will??
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    And here was me thinking religious people like to preach tolerance for others.

    Anyway OP I think you should go and tell him you're going. Why should you lie, you should be proud that this person was your friend and not be ashamed of going to pay your respects. Yes your father will be furious but it's not like you're going to convert your religion or god forbid 'fraternise' with men, just a funeral!
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    (Original post by yoyo462001)
    Do you honestly believe that though, that after lying, and going against her father wishes hes just going to say 'oh maybe your right, yeah you should have gone, i can see he was a good friend', this approach is going to land her in so much trouble.

    trouble in the short term yeh, but i think it would do her good in the long term, she would hold it against her father of so long otherwise... i dont know, but what could her dad really do? maybe not be all that nice for a while.. oh i dont know, i just think that it would be the best thing to do for herself regardless of her dad.
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    (Original post by roosel4)
    Your Dad is really disrespectful. Does race matter in this situation?
    Absolutely shocking isn't it , if this particular father doesn't like his daughter going to a white person's funeral (and that's the only reason for this being the case).

    I'm not too keen on religion but I bet most Muslims who would be offended by your father trying to use their faith to excuse such blatant hateful and racist behaviour.
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    (Original post by chloe_abbey)
    And here was me thinking religious people like to preach tolerance for others.

    Anyway OP I think you should go and tell him you're going. Why should you lie, you should be proud that this person was your friend and not be ashamed of going to pay your respects. Yes your father will be furious but it's not like you're going to convert your religion or god forbid 'fraternise' with men, just a funeral!
    Christians generally do, not Muslims. OP ask your dad why he came to the country of a white man, and why he put you in a mixed school to form attachments with white boys.
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    (Original post by Elipsis)
    Christians generally do, not Muslims. OP ask your dad why he came to the country of a white man, and why he put you in a mixed school to form attachments with white boys.
    I doubt, that in this situation, that will help considering the impression we've received of the dad so far. He doesn't seem like someone who would be swayed easily. But I s'pose the OP should give it a go - I was always taught to question things but I guess the OP hasn't :dontknow:

    It's quite depressing actually.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My best friend died of cancer recently (at only the age of 15) and his funeral is going to be next week. I was so shocked when I heard the news, he meant so much to me and I haven't stopped crying since.

    But my dad always shouts at me when he sees me crying in my bed (when I think I'm alone and just let everything out). Apparently 'he's just a white man, what does he mean to you?' I'm not allowed to argue back, to argue that regardless of colour, race, religion, whatever I am totally hurt and genuinely really really saddened by his death, it hurts so much because I'm meant to be 'daddy's good little girl who cooks and cleans and stays at home'. URGH, it makes me so angry ...

    'Your brothers in Palestine are being murdered every day and do you cry then?'

    That's all he ever drills in me, but what the hell do random men in Palestine have to do with me?!?

    And now he's not letting me go to his funeral because of our cultural/religious differences apparently and the fact that he's male

    But Muslims, is he actually allowed to do this?? Is there anything in the Quran that says we can't go to others' funerals??

    Yes, you can go.
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    OP go to the funeral. Just tell your father you're off somewhere else.
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    (Original post by anisha.doshi)
    I doubt, that in this situation, that will help considering the impression we've received of the dad so far. He doesn't seem like someone who would be swayed easily. But I s'pose the OP should give it a go - I was always taught to question things but I guess the OP hasn't :dontknow:

    It's quite depressing actually.
    I've tried pretty much everything in terms of argument, being overly nice and helpful recently to get him in good spirits, cooking and cleaning tirelessly during the summer just so i can go to this funeral that would mean so much to me....but he never listens. Never listens at all.
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    Go to your friend's funeral for sure.
    But don't go to your fathers funeral when it happens :rolleyes:
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    Take a knife to him. He'll rethink his decision.
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    (Original post by booraad)
    Are you actually a Muslim..? Having Muslim parents doesn't mean you automatically are a Muslim.
    Yep, one of the basic things is that everyone is born a muslim.
    that's why when people convert, new-agey religous types like to call them 'reverts'
    as a girl, you're not technicallyallowed to go to the graveyard, as the no women rule was made to stop the ancient arab traditions whereby when someone died you would pay beggar women to go to the grave and get distressed. the more you had, the more important you were. this probs isnt very muslim of me, but as you genuinely care for the person, and you're going to try and remain composed and respectful it shouldnt be too much of a problem.
    i would lie. or maybe there's a fmaily member/ muslim friends mum/dad/relative who would like to go and would accompany you???
    or just sneak out?
    if its an absolute no, is there a wake or somehting you can go to? you can take some flowers and offer your condolences to the family
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    you can go.
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    (Original post by geminibubblegum)
    Yep, one of the basic things is that everyone is born a muslim.
    that's why when people convert, new-agey religous types like to call them 'reverts'
    as a girl, you're not technicallyallowed to go to the graveyard, as the no women rule was made to stop the ancient arab traditions whereby when someone died you would pay beggar women to go to the grave and get distressed. the more you had, the more important you were. this probs isnt very muslim of me, but as you genuinely care for the person, and you're going to try and remain composed and respectful it shouldnt be too much of a problem.
    i would lie. or maybe there's a fmaily member/ muslim friends mum/dad/relative who would like to go and would accompany you???
    or just sneak out?
    if its an absolute no, is there a wake or somehting you can go to? you can take some flowers and offer your condolences to the family
    Sorry, what? I didn't understand this...:confused:
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    OP just go your dad is being racist and racism is Haram. I've never heard that aa a Mulim you're not allowed to attend another person from a different religions Funeral...thats just weird. Your dad mabe using culture to twist things.
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    You should go. If you need to, lie about the date of it and say you're going somewhere else.

    I know lying isn't good, but to be honest, some things are more important. If you're putting things into perspective, the death of your friend is much more important than you lying to your father.

    And in terms of what is the 'Muslim thing to do', many here have said that attending other funerals is not prohibited, and I'm sure that this will not change your eternal fate in the slightest. If you are a good person and good Muslim, lying to your father about going to a friend's funeral is not going to change that.
 
 
 
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