Turn on thread page Beta

No idea if I'm over him - help =( watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Please keep anon.

    In December I broke up with my boyfriend of three years. He went to uni a year before me while I took a gap year. We never had any problems and everything was fine. When I started uni in September it became really hard because we struggled to see each other. After spending months trying to decide what to do, I finally ended it with him. We broke up on good terms and we're still friends now. I knew there'd be a point he'd end up with someone else and I didn't think it would bother me. I've been fine since and thought I was over him. But a couple of weeks ago I found out he had a new girlfriend through Facebook. He hasn't mentioned it to me and its not my place to ask about it. I know who she is, she was a friend of his at college and they were pretty close. Since I found out, I haven't stopped thinking about it and its getting me down. I can't decide if its him I miss or if I miss having someone around. I always think about the things we'd done together and the things we had planned for the summer that won't happen anymore.

    I'm really scared that I'm going to find that I'm not over him and I've messed up the most important thing. I know if this is the case, then its too late for it go back to how it was. But I'm really struggling to see how I can get over it. Even writing this I'm trying not to cry. Stupid, I know. But still.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Gah. Stupid anon ¬_¬ Ah well.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I'd say 'no' considering you made a topic about it on a forum.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I'm very sorry to hear this - it's obvious that he meant a lot to you and sometimes Facebook can be annoying, as you learn things from the site that are probably better off being discovered face to face.

    My advice would be to try and find someone else. He's obviously moved on. Don't dwell on the past. It sounds like you shared some happy times together but if you dwell on it you will upset yourself. It's best to look forward, look towards the future and find somebody else. Is there anyone you are interested in or anyone that may be interested in you? If so, go out on a date with them or something. It's not the end of the world if it doesn't work out because the important is you are out 'playing the field again' as it were and experience is important.

    Good luck. Focus on the things that make you happy in your life and look forward. Try and avoid his Facebook profile as well if you can
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by CWild)
    I'd say 'no' considering you made a topic about it on a forum.

    Well I was hoping someone else that'd been in a similar situation could help.


    I've been interested in people since, I was seeing someone briefly in March but it didn't work out. It was when I was with him that I decided I was over it because I was happy. Even when it didn't work out it didn't bother me because I was happy that I'd moved on. There's no-one I'm really interested in now. I have spent a while wanting to be in a relationship again but I'm not the sort of person that goes out looking for one. I take things as they come.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Its always a bit upsetting to find out that an ex, any ex, is happy with someone else other than you. It doesn't mean that you haven't made any progress in getting over him during the past 6/7 months. You might feel down for a couple of days, but as others have said, you should keep busy and maybe get out there & meet new people etc so perhaps you could find someone else too.

    I think you'll feel fine about it after a few days, it just takes some getting used to I know I'd be upset if I found out that my ex was with someone else, but it doesn't mean that I'm not over him, or that I want him back. If you know that you broke up for the right reasons then thats all that matters, and it sounds like you did seeing as you were struggling with the long-distance. You'll find someone new soon too, promise
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Anon fail it seems.


    I think you just miss having a boyfriend.
    Offline

    0
    I'm kind of in the same situation. I split up with my ex a while ago and she's recently started seeing someone and i'm some-what jealous. I'm not sure if its that im jealous of the guy shes with because i want to be with her, but more the fact she has someone and i dont.

    I'd suggest just getting out there and meeting new people, not so much going out specifically looking for a boyfriend but just meeting new people and making new friends.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dr Zeuss™)
    I'm kind of in the same situation. I split up with my ex a while ago and she's recently started seeing someone and i'm some-what jealous. I'm not sure if its that im jealous of the guy shes with because i want to be with her, but more the fact she has someone and i dont.
    I think it is the fact that I'm jealous that he's found someone and I haven't. But sometimes I do get really upset about it and worry that I'm not actually over him. The next day I'm usually fine, it just happens to often for my liking.
    Offline

    2
    You just miss being in a relationship. Makes plans for the summer that involve getting out and about, rather than loitering on Facebook, and focus on what a great time you will have at uni in September
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Don't doubt yourself just because he has someone new. I know it hurts. I've been a bit jealous when Ex's I would never even consider getting back with have new girls. It's natural because no one likes being replaced (even if they don't want the position)!

    You'll be fine. If you were okay with breaking up then, you made the right decision. Just be strong and move on.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I know how you feel, I did the same thing 3 years ago when me and my boyfriend went to uni- we were so happy and it was the situation that led to us breaking up. We've both been out with other people but even now I'm not over him completely. I think it will get easier in time, but especially if he was your 'first love' he'll always have a place in your heart. I will always remember him so fondly and will always love him in a way, but I'm able to love other people now. Keep the happy memories as it's so good to have positive memories of a relationship and try to accept that you'll always think of him in a positive way, and hopefully after a bit more time you'll be able to move on properly. Hope this has helped you, good luck xxx
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 28, 2009
Poll
How are you feeling in the run-up to Results Day 2018?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.