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    Every day after college I have to call my mum and tell her I'm coming back home. If I want to pop round to a friend's house or do something else, I have to ask for permission.
    Not exactly, she'd probably call if I wasn't back after a while though.

    I almost certainly get a bed-time. Round 11 pm on school nights and can go up to 2 am over the holidays.
    I go whenever I want, which is a bad thing because I always get up late.

    I HAVE to eat every time a meal has been cooked and cannot choose to skip meals if I am not hungry/ not feeling well.
    If a meal's being cooked my mum asks me if I want it beforehand.

    I can't lock my own door.
    I don't have a lock!

    My mum barges into my room whenever she likes, and cleans it up. All my other friends' rooms are absolute tips, they feel much more homely. I just feel as if I'm living in some hotel room.
    You're lucky, my room's floor is half covered with papers and documents!

    My mum knows where everything is in my room better than I do. She feels free to open my cupboards/drawers/everything as well as rearranging my room as often as possible.
    :laugh:

    She insists my bed is made every single ******* day.
    I make my own bed every day because I'm not a lazy *******!

    She tries to peer over my shoulder to see what I'm doing on the internet, if I change the window because I'm typing something personal I always get accused.
    Can't you type what you want at 18?

    I have to ask permission to go to the corner shop.

    I have to ask permission to go out with friends and tell her who I am going with and where exactly.
    What? Don't ask, just say you're going.

    I always get comments like "dry your hair" "wash your hair" "wear a jumper" "don't drink too much water".
    That's just a mum being a mum tbh.

    No alcohol is kept in the house, because having the odd drink when I want it makes me an "alcoholic". Last time I managed to find it, I had a good few friends round and finished it off. I got some huge lecture about how much of a degenerate alcoholic I was and that people of my age go out and have one drink and "debate stuff" on their nights out.
    :confused:

    So far my holiday is going ****.
    Same, otherwise I wouldn't be on TSR! :awesome:
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    (Original post by s_h17)
    point taken. but that's not what im saying. im looking at the facts in front of us- it is OTT what her mum is doing
    if that makes any sense lol
    What I'm trying to say (which you seem to have missed, as does nearly all of this thread) that she'd miss her if she was gone, and she shouldn't be so ungrateful.
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    Some of those things are normal, some of them are slightly over the top and irritating. None of them seem to be particularly damaging in anyway, it's not like she's doing them out of spite. If you were a bit younger I'd say stand up to her, but you're about to move out and go to university soon, so I suppose you may as well put up with it and look forward to next year.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    At least you still have a mum, and a mum that cares about you enough to do these things.
    Eurgh shut up! What you highlighted in bold may be applicable to a 12 year old, but above that it is just excessive.
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    (Original post by explosions hurt)
    Eurgh shut up! What you highlighted in bold may be applicable to a 12 year old, but above that it is just excessive.
    :lolwut: Did you just fall out of 1998? Thanks for giving me a laugh, I haven't heard such a retro insult in ages. Run along little one
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    :lolwut: Did you just fall out of 1998? Thanks for giving me a laugh, I haven't heard such a retro insult in ages. Run along little one
    I feel sorry for your future children.
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    (Original post by explosions hurt)
    I feel sorry for your future children.
    What, because I might actually, you know, take care of them? Do their washing, make sure they eat enough, don't let them live in a **** hole?

    I guess your parents didn't really care enough about you, if you think it's normal for parents to not be worried about where their children are or if they turn into an alcoholic :console:
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    (Original post by Gibb~)
    And have the ability to change ALL THAT, If you have an arguement with her bring it all up, get mad tell how you feel like you are being controlled, tell her that you can take care of yourself and how when you are going to uni this is not good preperation to ease you in.

    Question are you male of female?

    These strong actions and this arguement will be the only way to get through to her. (and the easiest)
    **** being anon.


    I'm female.

    We argue every day, every single day, and all of it culminates, and sometime's she'll go as far as to slap me. Her argument is that it's her house, and if I want to go by those rules I can piss off and work my way to freedom and pay my own rent.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    What, because I might actually, you know, take care of them? Do their washing, make sure they eat enough, don't let them live in a **** hole?

    I guess your parents didn't really care enough about you, if you think it's normal for parents to not be worried about where their children are or if they turn into an alcoholic :console:
    I am sure josef fritzl thinks he took care of his children. There is a difference between guiding a child and smothering them. And yes, i just compared you to josef fritzl.
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    I can relate to the clean freak stuff. My brother is 24 and my mother makes his bed every single day of the year.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    What I'm trying to say (which you seem to have missed, as does nearly all of this thread) that she'd miss her if she was gone, and she shouldn't be so ungrateful.
    I'm not going to be anon, i might as well.
    I am grateful, but what I failed to mention is the constant stream of insults I get from my mum calling me a useless piece of ****, and if ever I bring anything up from my OP it could lead to violence from her side.
    In no way am I being fussy at all....
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    (Original post by learner_dancer)
    **** being anon.


    I'm female.

    We argue every day, every single day, and all of it culminates, and sometime's she'll go as far as to slap me. Her argument is that it's her house, and if I want to go by those rules I can piss off and work my way to freedom and pay my own rent.
    Seriously it sounded like she was a caring mother, I don't want to sound so harsh as it is your mother but she has some issues, you should maybe contact someone or even better contact some helpline about the situation as it might be a good way to 'let it all out'. If she has to slap you to get power over you, that is wrong full stop.
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    (Original post by learner_dancer)
    I'm not going to be anon, i might as well.
    I am grateful, but what I failed to mention is the constant stream of insults I get from my mum calling me a useless piece of ****, and if ever I bring anything up from my OP it could lead to violence from her side.
    In no way am I being fussy at all....
    Me and my mum fight like cat and dog... I never do things quick enough for her, I don't do the right things, I do stuff she doesn't like. She does stuff I don't like, she won't stop nagging me, she takes it upon herself to do what she's asked me to do a minute after she's asked me... We've had rows where both of us have shouted that we wish the other was dead and that they're useless, crap, not fit for being a parent/daughter. No-one gets on 100% with their parents. But if she walked out the door tomorrow and didn't come back, I can garauntee you'd be pretty cut up about this thread.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    At least you still have a mum, and a mum that cares about you enough to do these things.
    I agree that I DO sound like a spoilt brat, but I didn't want to elaborate too much in the OP. My father was basically a run-down alcoholic who beat her nearly every day. She thought that having a child would be her salvation, and has tried to mould me into the person she could have been if her life weren't as messed up. My A-levels were chosen for me, as were my GCSEs, a lot of the time my clothes are chosen for me. If I dare argue against it, it'll be constant insults and violence from my mum's side.
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    I almost certainly get a bed-time. Round 11 pm on school nights and can go up to 2 am over the holidays.
    My mother goes to bed before 10 so she couldn't possibly have enforced a bed time on her children past the age of ten.

    I HAVE to eat every time a meal has been cooked and cannot choose to skip meals if I am not hungry/ not feeling well.
    It's only polite to eat a bit if someone's made a meal for you.

    I can't lock my own door.
    Most kids' bedroom doors don't have locks.

    My mum barges into my room whenever she likes, and cleans it up. All my other friends' rooms are absolute tips, they feel much more homely. I just feel as if I'm living in some hotel room.
    My mother knocks before she comes in to clean.

    My mum knows where everything is in my room better than I do. She feels free to open my cupboards/drawers/everything as well as rearranging my room as often as possible.
    Pretty much the same. She was organising my 24 year old brother's closet the other day.

    She insists my bed is made every single ******* day.
    Ditto. Just make it. There's no reason not to, and it's not worth the hassle you get.

    I have to ask permission to go to the corner shop.


    I have to ask permission to go out with friends and tell her who I am going with and where exactly.
    That is abnormal. You should tell her where you're going, but you shouldn't ask permission. Just don't.

    No alcohol is kept in the house, because having the odd drink when I want it makes me an "alcoholic". Last time I managed to find it, I had a good few friends round and finished it off. I got some huge lecture about how much of a degenerate alcoholic I was and that people of my age go out and have one drink and "debate stuff" on their nights out.
    Untrue comments, but fair enough that a parent wouldn't want to provide alcohol for their children.
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    (Original post by Gibb~)
    Seriously it sounded like she was a caring mother, I don't want to sound so harsh as it is your mother but she has some issues, you should maybe contact someone or even better contact some helpline about the situation as it might be a good way to 'let it all out'. If she has to slap you to get power over you, that is wrong full stop.
    I've tried everything! My teachers were well informed of the situation at school, and knew that she was like that and were in fact able to tell from Day 1. They had to write my reports differently after I came into school with a black eye.
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    Jebus...

    ...I thought my mum was protective
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    Most of the things you mentioned seem normal for a mother, however mothers do need training. Most parents (mothers) by their very nature want to control you, but you as a child need to train them. You must be subtle by the way so as not to alert her that she is being trained.

    1) Don't ask permission, but let her know you will be going by someone. Try to shout it while you are leaving. She will not worry and you would not have asked permission.

    2) If you don't want a meal, either not be home, make something for yourself or indicate you are too sick to eat. If she still brings it play around with it and simply not eat it. Mention that people in Africa are starving and you are not eating to show solidarity and to heal the world.

    3) Lock your door. When asked why you locked it indicate that it was an accident or that you were afraid someone would come in and kill you. Alternate these two incase she realize that there is something up and take the door off.

    4) Place your computer so that you are facing the door. That way you have time to close your computer down even if you forget to lock the door.

    Didn't it say somewhere train your mother in the way they should go and they shall never depart from it?
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    What I'm trying to say (which you seem to have missed, as does nearly all of this thread) that she'd miss her if she was gone, and she shouldn't be so ungrateful.
    yea i said i took your point. which i really do.
    but come on now seriously, we could say that about everything in the world.
    the fact is, her mum is pissing her off, she has a right to feel like that.
    im sure she loves her mum deep down, and she gets all that " gratefullness", ( / im pressuming here ) but her mum is being a bit OTT on some things, SURELY you have to admit that.
    serioulsy. 18.
    she's an adult.
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    Lol, my bed's not been made in over 4 years
 
 
 
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