Sorry guys!! Watch
So, here it is.. all in easy to read points!
1.Got together with my ex in Dec 06
2.We fell stupidly head over heels for eachother, we were that annoying soppy couple everyone hates!.. And for about a year the longest we went without seeing eachother was about 4 hours
3.Was a pretty much perfect relationship, rarely fell out... he was my best friend
4.We met at uni, but we're from the same town, so he finished in May 08 and moved back home
5.Relationship was still the same from May 08 onwards, only thing that changed was that we were eachother about 4/5 days a week instead of 7. We still confided in eachother about stuff, had a good sex life and got on really well still
6.August 08 he meets up with me... and then randomly breaks up with me in the middle of the street.
7.He refused to speak to me in private, so we ended up sitting on a park... random families & kids + me crying my eyes out = extremely awkward
8.Completely cut me off after this, said there was nothing else to be said and I couldnt change his mind.
9.Two weeks later I see him on a night out and he blanks me completely. Which made me feel even worse.. cos I mean Id know the guy for nearly 2 years, Id not said/done anything nasty towards him to deserve being blanked
10.His reasons for breaking up were he apparantly 'just wanted to be single'
11.6 weeks after the break up he gets a new girlfriend
12.3 weeks after that they break up
13.Another 2 months down the line, taking us to about dec/jan time we start chatting again. He then goes on to say he still has feeling for me... which lead to him giving a massive speech about how much he'd missed me,, how much of an idiot he'd been, and loads of promises about how he'd never treat me like that again
14.After ALOT of talking, we get back together
15.After about a month, he starts slacking off... we agreed to go halfs on the train fare every week, and it got to a point where I was having to nag him for it because he'd never offer the money
16.Another month after that, things had got alot better... until one night we were chatting on the phone, he was talking about how he was going out saturday night- which I had no issue with, why would I ever have an issue with that?... Then he asks if Im coming home that weekend, I say yea.. and he starts saying he cant afford to go halfs on the train ticket. Which was 7.50.
17.I understandably was like 'err you can afford £50 for a night out but not 7.50 to see me?'.. to which he got really defensive, and said he didnt want to be in the relationship anymore
18.Even worse, this time he refused to speak to me face to face.. once again saying there was nothing to be said, and he wasnt going to change his mind
19.reasons this time were that we were apparantly arguing too much, and he wanted to be single. Cant say anything about the latter... but the former was not true, we hadnt argued for weeks until that night.
20.I was completely gutted, and felt really stupid because everyone had warned me not to get back with him in the first place
21.So, as if being dumped again wasnt bad enough... he starts ****ging me off to people, calling me pretty much every name under the sun. I know theres always two sides to every story, but I really had done NOTHING to provoke him into saying nasty things about me
22.Around a month after the break up, I hear that he's seeing some girl he works with
And after allllll of that, this leads me up to 3 months on from this.
Im starting to think Ive got serious issues. Im not over him in the slightest. Him and this girl officially started going out a couple of weeks ago, and I cant stop myself from looking at her facebook profile.. which is filled with statuses about how she's excited that he's home (he's just come off holiday), and crap about how things are going really well & whatnot. Whats worse is that it actually makes me want to cry when I see that stuff. Makes me wonder whats so special about her?
Its ridiculous, he's treated me like absolute crap... but Ive got some sort of mental block where all I keep picturing is the 1 year & 8 months where he was such a nice guy, and my best friend.
Has anyone got any advice? Or any numbers for a half-decent mental asylum?
Judging by the last paragraph: He obviously didn't treat you very well and you should realise that you can't hang around besotted over someone who didn't treat you well. I know this is the worst advice really but you're just going to have to move on. Meet some new people, and smile though your heart is breaking
He ****** you once and you forgave him. Ok - some people would.
He ****** you again and you let it go.
He ****** you again and you're still not over him?
You deserve better. Good for you in being able to have the motivation and belief in a relationship to keep it going.
He does not deserve you. He'll **** the new broad over too. People don't change
The rule: If it can be written in a short list, then do it. If not, just stick to paragraphs and don't be verbose!
What you need to make sure is that you keep your guard up. You can guarantee he will be back after this relationship fails, you've already been through him randomly breaking up with you, don't allow yourself to go through it again - you're better than that.
I say this with every ounce of sincerity, you just don't want to go through that again. I spent almost 18 months in a relationship with a girl that kept dumping me at the drop of a hat and it has a lasting effect.
As hard as it is you have to move on and forget him, he's not the guy you fell in love with. Stop checking this girls facebook too, if she's aware you're checking it (or on her friends list) she may just be putting these status updates to wind you up. Don't rise to it.
You're better off without him, so stop moping around and get out there and find someone who will treat you properly! Good luck!
This situations just so hard because although Ive been in relationships before, when they ended I felt upset but I always knew Id be okay within a couple of weeks, and I always was. But this relationship felt really different.. which is why its thrown me off so much.
And not that all of the advice isnt helpful.. but its stuff I already know. I do go out with my friends, and many a time Ive sat and thought/talked about how much of an arse he is. I dont spend my entire day being depressed about it either... but it seems like everything I do to make myself feel better works at the time, but I always go back to feeling like this.
And just to make the whole thing a little weirder - I dont actually want to get back with him. I know Id never be able to trust him and it would never be the same as it was... but still, that sad feeling doesnt go away.