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    hey

    my bf and i have been going out for about 21 months. we first started saying i love you last christmas time, when we were apart for christmas. when we're at uni together, when we occasionally do say it, i always say it first, then i have to ask him if he loves me. i've gotten upset about this in the past, and he says 'oh you know i love you, i don't have to say it, don't my actions show it?'. hmph. i have never been convinced of it, and have never been fully accepting of that.

    otherwise, he is a pretty good boyfriend, we spend a lot of time together, and he's been especially nice to me over exam time, helping me and teaching me etc...

    now he's on boys holiday for a couple weeks, and i was a bit upset about exam results, and i sent him an e-mail which ended with 'i love you and miss you'. and all i got was a sentence and 'see you soon'.

    i'm so pissed off......

    what would you think about the whole situation??
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    Stop being so ******* clingy.

    'i always say it first, then i have to ask him if he loves me.'

    Your probably driving him insane. Those three words should be used very sparingly in a relationship, so when they are said you know it is really truly meant.

    Also his actions should speak louder than words to know if he loves you.
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    It's not worth getting upset over words, not when the rest of your relationship sounds fine.

    It's likely he doesn't have the confidence to say it freely, not that he doesn't love you.

    Have you explained to him how it makes you feel?
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    My boyfriend rarely says it, doesn't bother me, I know he loves me. But he will always say it back if I say it first
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    I'd feel really down about the whole thing tbh :sad: My boyfriend says he loves me at least once a day and it makes me so happy.

    Sometimes knowing you're loved isn't enough, you need to hear it too. It's only three little words, if he loves you like he says he does it wouldn't kill him to tell you once in a while.
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    You're being way over the top if I'm honest. Who cares if he doesn't say it? And it's even worse that you're asking him 'do you love me?'. Seriously stop being such a bunny boiler. I really don't see why you're making such a big deal out of that. Guys just don't think the same way as girls about that kind of stuff.
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    Like the other guy said, some guys just don't feel comfortable with saying those words; though I can assure you they probably mean it, and it looks like it through his actions. If he said he loves you but doesn't give a damn about you, never talks to you and so on, would he really love you? If he cares about you, helps you with your problems, and always puts you first, but doesn't say he loves you, does that mean he doesn't?

    It's three words, they mean nothing in essence; it's what he does which you should be concerned about, and looking at the post it's clear he loves you, but like a lot of guys, he's uncomfortable with saying those words. Stop being paranoid about it, and trying to pressurise him into saying those words; it won't change his attitude to you or his affection for you.
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    Grow up woman.

    Sheesh.
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    It's a difficult situation. As you say, he thinks his actions speak for him, but if it's important to you you have to tell him you want to actually hear the words because that means more to you than a hug.

    Does he have a problem expressing himself usually?

    It took me and my bf a while to say it to each other, but we say it because it's true and not because we feel we should say it.
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    ...is not the words I want to hear from youuu


    Listen to that song and you'll see that the most important thing in a relationship isn't saying "I love you"
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    (Original post by robbo3045)
    Stop being so ******* clingy.

    'i always say it first, then i have to ask him if he loves me.'

    Your probably driving him insane. Those three words should be used very sparingly in a relationship, so when they are said you know it is really truly meant.

    Also his actions should speak louder than words to know if he loves you.
    In your opinion :yes: I agree tbh (particularly after my first relationship which was seriously OTT :shifty:) but not everyone feels like that and there's nothing really wrong with saying it frequently, and not saying it back when someone has said it to you is harsh regardless.
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    Say it too much, it means nothing.

    Don't say it enough, we don't love you.

    Do guys ever get to win? :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by carlosb)
    ...is not the words I want to hear from youuu


    Listen to that song and you'll see that the most important thing in a relationship isn't saying "I love you"
    lol now I can't get more than words outta my head! That's the song I'm walking down the aisle to! +rep for you :d
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    (Original post by carlosb)
    ...is not the words I want to hear from youuu


    Listen to that song and you'll see that the most important thing in a relationship isn't saying "I love you"
    lol, as soon as i put up the post, i went straight to listen to that song!

    still didn't make me feel better though.

    it sounds really silly, but it would make me a lot better if he said those words. i mean it's just a few words, and i agree with an above poster who said 'it wouldn't kill him to say it', if it meant that much to me. i know i am lucky that i have a bf who shows me he loves me by his actions. if he just said the words and didn't walk the walk, obviously i wouldn't stand for it, but it's just 3 little words that would make me so happy.....

    i do not think this makes me a bunny boiler.
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    Oh dear, It really isn't as big a deal as hollywood would have you believe. It means literally nothing. Said it to my best mate more than my girlfriends.
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    You say the rest of the relationship is fine but you're upset because he doesn't say "I love you" enough?

    Wow.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    lol, as soon as i put up the post, i went straight to listen to that song!

    still didn't make me feel better though.

    it sounds really silly, but it would make me a lot better if he said those words. i mean it's just a few words, and i agree with an above poster who said 'it wouldn't kill him to say it', if it meant that much to me. i know i am lucky that i have a bf who shows me he loves me by his actions. if he just said the words and didn't walk the walk, obviously i wouldn't stand for it, but it's just 3 little words that would make me so happy.....

    i do not think this makes me a bunny boiler.
    It totally does.

    You say it's just to make you happy but why is it so important? How is he saying 3 words going to make your life so much better, really? You're being petty and pathetic, seriously. If you keep pushing for this, it'll drive him insane. When people say it so much, it totally loses all meaning.
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    (Original post by dita_parlo)
    lol now I can't get more than words outta my head! That's the song I'm walking down the aisle to! +rep for you :d
    It was the first thing that came on my mind eheh

    Thanks and congratulations
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    lol, as soon as i put up the post, i went straight to listen to that song!

    still didn't make me feel better though.

    it sounds really silly, but it would make me a lot better if he said those words. i mean it's just a few words, and i agree with an above poster who said 'it wouldn't kill him to say it', if it meant that much to me. i know i am lucky that i have a bf who shows me he loves me by his actions. if he just said the words and didn't walk the walk, obviously i wouldn't stand for it, but it's just 3 little words that would make me so happy.....

    i do not think this makes me a bunny boiler.
    It's difficult to say it for some people, and I wouldn't worry if he has always been like that
    As long as you feel that he loves you, it's all good
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    I'd feel really down about the whole thing tbh :sad: My boyfriend says he loves me at least once a day and it makes me so happy.

    Sometimes knowing you're loved isn't enough, you need to hear it too. It's only three little words, if he loves you like he says he does it wouldn't kill him to tell you once in a while.
    :love:
 
 
 
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