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How do you think humans first learnt how to have sex? watch

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    (Original post by dfjr)
    But why would the man consent to putting his "special dangling bit" in the woman. At that point he wouldn't really get anything in return, hence would not be inclined to do it.

    Good response anyway. Made me lol.


    To prove that she'd look stupid with a dangly bit anyway so she'd leave him alone with her whining jealous *****-ness.
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    (Original post by EducatingBrogan)
    To prove that she'd look stupid with a dangly bit anyway so she'd leave him alone with her whining jealous *****-ness.
    lol. Good Answer!

    It is a very good theory. I'm slightly jealous of it.
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    Well, once upon a time we were all single-celled organisms, so it wouldn't have been "sex"...
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    Shapes... what else can you fill a hole with other than a peen?
    They may have tried ass at some point, but then they noticed that vag makes babies
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    Standing Naked Next to each other.

    Hey you have a long peice, i have a hole.

    1 + <> = <1>
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    maybe they just fell on each other and then it all started
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    (Original post by dfjr)

    Theory B (If God exists):
    Adam and Eve were the first two humans. At that time special effects were non-existant. Hence God got two dolls, a barbie doll and a ken doll to act out sex (almost like an educational puppet show), where Adam and Eve oohed and aahed at God's wisdom. God gave Adam and Eve a few Ken and Barbie dolls in order for humans to explain to their offspring how to have sex. However sometimes, by accident parents used two Barbies or two Kens instead of one Barbie and one Ken, resulting in the practice of gay sex. After a while, dolls were no longer needed to explain how sex worked, as so many people were doing it, everyone could easily pick it up.

    i love the idea that barbie and ken came around the same time as adam and eve :awesome:
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    I havent read all of this thread, just the OP.
    But uve gota think that we didnt start off as 'humans'
    so it would of been instinct, same as any animal.
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    (Original post by dfjr)
    Theory A (if a God doesn't exist):
    I believe males already knew they had to do something with their penis (innate behaviour). However they would not necessary know what to do with it, or what to "stick" it.
    Females would have no idea how to have sex. They may occasionally grab a male's penis, but would have no idea what to do next, hence would stand there puzzled.
    So back to the male, by trial and error, guys would start sticking their penis in holes, e.g. golf holes, potholes, holes in trees, hole in the wall etc.

    Then it would suddenly dawn on them that they had to stick it in something with a pulse (in order to obtain enjoyment).
    Luckily human females seemed the obvious ones to try as they would be more willing and most attractive to the male (those who stupidly tried with animals, e.g. a woolly mammoth died a painful death, hence the process of natural selection weeding out the idiots).

    Of course while men knew they had to put their penis in a "hole" of the female, they did not know which one. They still are not completely sure now, explaining the existence of vaginal, anal and oral sex. Finally one male figured that vaginal sex led to the production of babies. Hence the noble tradition of sex was repeated over and over again, humans reproducing like rodents, explaining the present crisis of overpopulation in the world.:yes:
    This made me lol :awesome:
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    1) It's like fire; they touched it and they reacted differently. Only they probably weren't stuid enough to go sticking their hands in the fire again...
    2) In Genesis, although they were married, Adam and Eve were not allowed to have sex. S'why when he bit the apple after Eve they had 'lustful' sex and thrown out of Eden. So how did they know?
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    Ug the Axe stood defiantly on top of the pile of defeated foes, his weapon held loosely in his grip. Leaning back, he bellowed his triumph to the sky. "I am Ug the Axe, Gutsplitter of Millennia Past!" he roared. "No man can defeat me!"

    "That may be," said a voice. Ug looked down. A woman stared defiantly back at him. "I am Ugina, and I am your doom!"

    Leaping from his pedestal, Ug Gutsplitter assumed a fighting pose briefly, and charged. He struck, thrust, with a movement that had brought pain and defeat to many a man. Unexpectedly, his opponent did not capitulate. She cried out, but stood her ground.

    Ug tried again, and again, his underdeveloped male Neanderthal cortex attempting futilely to work out why on earth his patented One-Hit Cripple Attack wasn't working. He had struck deep; there was no doubt about it. But Ugina seemed unaffected by his devastating prowess; if anything, she was enjoying it.

    Ug only realised he'd just rendered the baby-delivering crane (Grus tescus) useless in human ecology afterwards, and by then it was too late.
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    Haha, I'm sorry but,
    (Original post by dfjr)
    guys would start sticking their penis in holes, e.g. golf holes,
    So, golf was invented before sex? lol
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    (Original post by anisha.doshi)
    This is actually a good question
    No it isn't.
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    (Original post by CatexW)
    Well, once upon a time we were all single-celled organisms, so it wouldn't have been "sex"...
    I was a zygote yes, and I have sex.
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    I dont give a ****. Who fukcing cares. Why dont you use your pathetic excuse of a mind to labour over something important, like how to get a fukcing life!

    EDIT: Sorry, I've had a bad day
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    (Original post by cowsgoquack)
    I was a zygote yes, and I have sex.
    Not quite what that person meant, im sure.
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    (Original post by LdnShmoo)
    i love the idea that barbie and ken came around the same time as adam and eve :awesome:
    They were a present from God. God initially gave Adam and Eve a large batch of them so that future descendants could use them also (unused ones were kept in original packaging so they would not damage).
    Once Humans had the technology to make them, they made them.
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    dfjr, aren't you the one who said that you gave your girlfriend half your sandwich and that was the extent of your romantic behaviour? :p:

    Ahem, anyway, this is really really messed up and I would go anon but General Discussion doesn't allow it unfortunately... but when we were little, my friend and I would often get bored, decide that we wanted babies to play with, and we somehow knew (we must have been like... 3/4?) that it involved sticking his willy in a hole. So we used to take our clothes off and he'd try and stick his willy in my belly button.

    :awesome:

    I wish I was joking. I'm sure that's really not right, and to this day I'm genuinely freaked out that that happened. Though it really is quite amusing. :awesome:

    Edit: I don't have a theory, but it obviously seems quite natural? :erm:
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    (Original post by cowsgoquack)
    I was a zygote yes, and I have sex.
    Um, no. I meant in evolutionary terms.
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    (Original post by CatexW)
    Um, no. I meant in evolutionary terms.
    In evolutionary terms 'we' were never single-celled.
 
 
 
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