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How do you think humans first learnt how to have sex? Watch

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    (Original post by dfjr)
    Do you know? I've pondered this question for a long time.
    I've come up with some theories.


    Theory A (if a God doesn't exist):
    I believe males already knew they had to do something with their penis (innate behaviour). However they would not necessary know what to do with it, or what to "stick" it.
    Females would have no idea how to have sex. They may occasionally grab a male's penis, but would have no idea what to do next, hence would stand there puzzled.
    So back to the male, by trial and error, guys would start sticking their penis in holes, e.g. golf holes, potholes, holes in trees, hole in the wall etc.

    Then it would suddenly dawn on them that they had to stick it in something with a pulse (in order to obtain enjoyment).
    Luckily human females seemed the obvious ones to try as they would be more willing and most attractive to the male (those who stupidly tried with animals, e.g. a woolly mammoth died a painful death, hence the process of natural selection weeding out the idiots).

    Of course while men knew they had to put their penis in a "hole" of the female, they did not know which one. They still are not completely sure now, explaining the existence of vaginal, anal and oral sex. Finally one male figured that vaginal sex led to the production of babies. Hence the noble tradition of sex was repeated over and over again, humans reproducing like rodents, explaining the present crisis of overpopulation in the world.:yes:



    Theory B (If God exists):
    Adam and Eve were the first two humans. At that time special effects were non-existant. Hence God got two dolls, a barbie doll and a ken doll to act out sex (almost like an educational puppet show), where Adam and Eve oohed and aahed at God's wisdom. God gave Adam and Eve a few Ken and Barbie dolls in order for humans to explain to their offspring how to have sex. However sometimes, by accident parents used two Barbies or two Kens instead of one Barbie and one Ken, resulting in the practice of gay sex. After a while, dolls were no longer needed to explain how sex worked, as so many people were doing it, everyone could easily pick it up.






    So do you agree with my theories? What are your theories?
    Same way animals know of sex, instinct.
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    (Original post by MadMaths)
    looking at ur post i think ur the calmest of the calm lol
    exactly! it takes a lot to rile me.

    like that time my friend threw away a top a had lent her. ON PURPOSE.
    *&!"&£!!?! :mad:
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    (Original post by malleablegrace)
    I'm glad you gain amusement from my traumatic childhood experiences. :p:
    Bahaha. Thanks for the rep though, that's one positive I got from it I suppose ha!
    Haha I just hope you're okay now :p: I'm still laughing. My god I'm absolutely terrible. I just think it's because the idea is just so so funny.

    And thankyou for the rep, you seem lovely too x
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    (Original post by cowsgoquack)
    exactly! it takes a lot to rile me.

    like that time my friend threw away a top a had lent her. ON PURPOSE.
    *&!"&£!!?! :mad:
    i was being sarcastic, u do need to chill.........cos u used a very very bad word lol
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    (Original post by cowsgoquack)
    exactly! it takes a lot to rile me.

    like that time my friend threw away a top a had lent her. ON PURPOSE.
    *&!"&£!!?! :mad:

    i lent my friend a bike to borrow and he broke the brakes and wheel on purpose
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    *FACEPALM for OP
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    (Original post by MadMaths)
    i lent my friend a bike to borrow and he broke the brakes and wheel on purpose
    was he black?
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    Hmm... what would I do with a rod? Stick it into a pussy.
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    (Original post by cowsgoquack)
    There is no accepted evolutionary explanation for the evolution and upkeep of sex.
    yeah true (there are some nice theories though!)

    i dont suppose youre gonna give any of your own views while youre here?
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    Simple instinct. For example, how did the first humans learn how to eat? I mean I don't think they shoved food up their asses.
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    (Original post by xinjaing)
    Hmm... what would I do with a rod? Stick it into a pussy.
    try it could turn out to be quite pleasurable...
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    (Original post by Lou Reed)
    yeah true (there are some nice theories though!)

    i dont suppose youre gonna give any of your own views while youre here?
    I don't suppose to know enough about the evolution of sex to comment. Many theories seem plausable and most of them are not exclusive. The Red Queen hypothesis seems to lend itself quite a lot of weight.
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    (Original post by MadMaths)
    personally i think hes a bit fukd in the head!! hes paranoid and makes pathetic attemps to try and bother me. (like asking his cousin to beat me on fifa and verbal sledge me on the ps3 message thingy) im like get a life....
    Just run down the line to the corner flag then cross it = SCORE = instawin
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    (Original post by sandeep90)
    Simple instinct. For example, how did the first humans learn how to eat? I mean I don't think they shoved food up their asses.
    or talk rather
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    (Original post by MewMachine)
    Haha I just hope you're okay now :p: I'm still laughing. My god I'm absolutely terrible. I just think it's because the idea is just so so funny.
    I know! I always laugh when I think about it but it is such a weird idea!
    Such a comical thing to imagine... we'd just like stop playing with our Playmobile stuff and go, "shall we have a baby instead?" and out came the willy.

    :woo:

    I think I'll always remember thinking "so... how the... if nothing's happening now, how do you have a baby and will I ever have one?"

    Was weeeeird.

    Edit: also, his mum came in once and found us and was like :eek: WTF no put your clothes on! Lol!
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    They posted a topic asking on TSR, which was inevitably closed, so they ended up hunting down and murdering all moderators. Then they posted another topic, and were flooded with sex tips, after which they had a happy and sex filled life.
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    (Original post by MadMaths)
    or talk rather
    jellyfish eat with their anuses innit.

    or rather they have only one opening into the coelenteron
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    Don't be silly of course its innate and any two humans on a desert Island would think it up. I mean look at kittens, they know how to do it after a few weeks and start trying to get off with their sister. Both sexes naturally hump in the right way and feel what bits are pleasurable.
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    (Original post by dfjr)
    Theory B (If God exists):
    Adam and Eve were the first two humans. At that time special effects were non-existant. Hence God got two dolls, a barbie doll and a ken doll to act out sex (almost like an educational puppet show), where Adam and Eve oohed and aahed at God's wisdom. God gave Adam and Eve a few Ken and Barbie dolls in order for humans to explain to their offspring how to have sex. However sometimes, by accident parents used two Barbies or two Kens instead of one Barbie and one Ken, resulting in the practice of gay sex. After a while, dolls were no longer needed to explain how sex worked, as so many people were doing it, everyone could easily pick it up.
    @Theory B
    I think when Adam and Eve ate the fruit of "the wisdom tree", they gained intelligence and stuffs ( i can't explain what these stuffs are). Hence, when they God is look after them, Adam and Eve were hiding behind a bush because they just realised they were naked (which they haven't realised actually before eating the fruit).. So I think the wisdom tree gave them this knowledge to "be fruitful and multiply".
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    (Original post by MadMaths)
    oi dont spring ur entire hate of asians on me!!!! i have my own agenda in life
    is it to kill julia roberts?
 
 
 
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