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I actually don't know wtf to do. watch

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    (Original post by Nattynoo101)
    Well.. i've been in a relationship now for nearly two years, and I love him so much I would die for him. We've been through a hell of a lot..for example I helped him cope with the death of his mother. He is my best friend and as naive as it sounds i've actually contemplated marrying him/having a very long future ahead.

    He is in america at the moment for his Dad's wedding, and I am in France at the moment for my Dad's wedding (weird i know)

    Yesterday, a girl added me on MSN and asked me if he was my boyfriend, and admitted to me that she slept with him in April, soon after he got back from France with me to meet my Dad and his side of the family. Apparently they met up one night after txting for a while..an online thing i guess, and it just happened. And they didn't talk since. She tried getting in touch but he didn't respond. She sounds totally genuine, and she said she didn't know he had a girlfriend but found me recently on facebook and thought I should know.

    I can't even get in touch with him since he's in America.

    I don't understand... he has acted normally and i'd never have suspected anything. He always tells me how much he loves me, and that I mean everything to him. I love him so much... and I want to forgive him. I don't want to throw away all of the good things we have together.

    In my position what would people do? Obviously I haven't heard his story and probably won't be able to contact him until Sunday. It's tearing me apart..I can't wait that long.

    I just can't bear to think that our relationship may end. I don't know if I could cope.

    Sorry for the long post...thanks for reading if you've bothered
    You're going to have to sit down and tell him exactly what you told us and see what he has to say.

    Try not to be confrontational because it might not be true - hear him out and see what he says. The only way you're going to get through this and to the bottom of it is by talking it out with him. Is there no way at all you can get in touch with him before Sunday? :console:
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    I know its hard but try not to panic. You don't know this is true and I admit it doesnt sound good but things may change when you have found out the full story.

    If he has cheated on you, that doesnt necessarily mean that he doesnt love you or that he has lied about that he may have made a genuine mistake and this is why you obviously have to talk it through.
    Your relationhip is in both your hands and you both have to decide where to go from here, you can move on from this if you want to although it obviously won't be easy.

    I really do sympathise, if he has done this then it is completely disgraceful as nobody deserves to be treated like that particularly somebody who has been such a great support through hard times as you have.

    If you want to talk feel free to PM me
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    I did read your whole post but I am sadly too tired to write an extremely thorough response as the previous two users have.

    To be honest I've known enough girls to know they enjoy creating jealousy plotlines. Why would she come to tell you that so specifically? It's impolite and well, the story sounds a bit like rubbish than actual truth.

    Nonetheless you should get the truth on this one, but if he says he didn't then you should be in the best place to believe him - you know him so well, he can't lie to you and get away with it.

    One more thing I would say, is that while you think this may be an urgent matter, I don't think arguing it out on the phone will solve much. Much of communication is done through other means, in fact I think 80% of communication is nonverbal. A phone call could end badly...

    Good night, and good luck.
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    I can see how you feel horrible as its not something that can be sorted out intill you are together, and i would stress at how much you need to talk to him about it, keeping it inside is going to eat away at you and eventually spell an end to the relationship.

    I think the best thing to do is to keep calm, it is hear say at the moment, she said she slept with him, but it may not be true. Hear his side of the story and then see where you are left. If you are in the situation where he has cheated, you two need to work it out and be careful about how you progress, its not easy but ofc you can forgive someone, its all very personal to you.

    Talk to him as soon as you can and get it sorted out.
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    If it true then you need to find out what it was that spurred him on to do such a thing - was he unhappy or was there something else bothering him etc.

    Speak to him as soon as you can over the phone and then make sure you have a nice face-to-face chat when he's back, too.

    Let us know what happens.
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    (Original post by Nattynoo101)
    I love him so much... and I want to forgive him. I don't want to throw away all of the good things we have together.
    Daww this is well cute http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...es/redface.gif but make sure he doesn't take advantage fo your good nature! Grrr... but then again I guess you know him better than anyone so good luck with it!
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    Doesn't the fact that he carried on like normal so easily ring alarm bells for you? How many other girls might there be?
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    Doesn't the fact that he carried on like normal so easily ring alarm bells for you? How many other girls might there be?
    Or he could have been acting like normal because, you know, he wasn't cheating on her.

    This girl, to me, sounds like one of the crazy jealous bunny boiler types that got turned down by your boyfriend, and now wants to ruin his life.
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    (Original post by TheJeebs)
    Or he could have been acting like normal because, you know, he wasn't cheating on her.
    Well yeah I meant if she finds out he was
    • #1
    #1

    hope this is the right advice.. you like him,, so you don't want to loose him, but unless he's worth it ur better off loosing him,, so u have to be strong now, teach him a lesson, so that he never does it again and realizes what he was taking for granted,, and if he puts up with everything, i dunno like not talking to him,, u see to which lengths he would go.. to show that he really likes u.. if he gives up too easily,, than he doesn't like u.. and isn't a great person either.. don't play games and keep things simple (no mixed signals).. that's the idea.. i have no clue about specifics or the details.. also i would not continue any communication with that girl that added u,..and obviously u have to confront him after u've thought everything allot and let everything out.. writing a letter is good practice before talking to someone,, that way u sort out ur feelings in thoughts and it becomes less cloudy and easier to communicate and make people understand.. goodluck
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    Doesn't the fact that he carried on like normal so easily ring alarm bells for you? How many other girls might there be?
    What if this girl just like him and made up this whole thing...how can he know that he has to say something? :confused:
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    (Original post by bigmo7)
    What if this girl just like him and made up this whole thing...how can he know that he has to say something? :confused:
    Yeah this has literally just been pointed out by someone else, I meant if he's been cheating on her.
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    Yeah this has literally just been pointed out by someone else, I meant if he's been cheating on her.
    Yeah fair point but it's just a guy, it's not Casanova...
    If he's been cheating on her then there could be a million other things he could have done...:eek:
    But let's not scare the OP....
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    (Original post by bigmo7)
    Yeah fair point but it's just a guy, it's not Casanova...
    If he's been cheating on her then there could be a million other things he could have done...:eek:
    But let's not scare the OP....
    What the hell does that even mean? 'It's just a guy' :lolwut:

    Anyway, I guess you're right. Talk to him first, worry about what you're going to do second if need be.
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    What the hell does that even mean? 'It's just a guy' :lolwut:

    Anyway, I guess you're right. Talk to him first, worry about what you're going to do second if need be.
    I'm saying that you said:

    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    Doesn't the fact that he carried on like normal so easily ring alarm bells for you? How many other girls might there be?
    Guys don't tend to have several women on the go...except maybe in films
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    (Original post by bigmo7)
    Guys don't tend to have several women on the go...except maybe in films
    Yeah but he could quite easily have slept with 3 or 4. Doesn't really make him Casanova though.
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    Yeah but he could quite easily have slept with 3 or 4. Doesn't really make him Casanova though.
    No it doesn't but you didn't specify a number...:p:
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    (Original post by bigmo7)
    No it doesn't but you didn't specify a number...:p:
    You're just being pedantic for the sake of it now.

    It's clear what Sakura-Chan was trying to say and she had a very valid point... you're just taking the thread further and further off topic at the moment. :yes:
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    (Original post by kexy)
    You're just being pedantic for the sake of it now.

    It's clear what Sakura-Chan was trying to say and she had a very valid point... you're just taking the thread further and further off topic at the moment. :yes:
    Yeah I know...and actually I wasn't trying to take this off topic, well except for my last post...

    I just find it hard to believe that the girl found the OP through facebook and then talked to her about sleeping with her boyfriend...
 
 
 
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