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I actually don't know wtf to do. Watch

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    "blah blah has said you cheated on me with her lsat april, now i wanted to hear your side of things before i jumped to any conclusions"
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    You kinda do need to leave it dwell in your mind, will be hard.. but it's better you do this in person. I completely agree with what you're saying and if he did cheat on you i do feel very sorry for you as you seem like a very nice person and don't deserve it.
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    (Original post by Nattynoo101)
    Hey you said you wanted me to let you know what happens

    I managed to get through to him in America about half an hour ago. He genuinely sounded stunned and had no idea who this girl even is. Considering I don't know who this girl is, I'm going with my best judgement and believe him. The rest of our conversation was great, catching up and hearing about how the wedding went, and he sounded extremely surprised to hear from me and had no idea how I got the number hehe.

    One of my friends thinks i'm being totally stupid. But hey, at the end of the day this choice is one that for the moment makes me happy. If it comes round and bites me on the arse at a later date, well...they can be ready to say they told me so.

    Thank you for the advice everyone. I seriously can't begin to describe the relief I feel! I've been a depressed crazy wreck for the last 3 days and have slept for 4 hours in the last 2 days from worry.

    Has he done anything else over the two years that might make you doubt him? One story by someone doesn't mean that he did cheat, but it's odd for a girl to go through so much effort if she's not telling the truth.
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    (Original post by Indubitably)
    Has he done anything else over the two years that might make you doubt him? One story by someone doesn't mean that he did cheat, but it's odd for a girl to go through so much effort if she's not telling the truth.
    Agreed. If it was me I would ask to meet the girl in person that way Id be able to see what kind of person she was and try to see better if she is lying or not, she may also still have text messages on her phone from him if she has a large inbox? Or even conversations saved on her computer as you said they were apparently to have met online?

    Sorry don't mean to try and upset you or whatever, but its just my opinion, I have seen too many girls been messed up, just recently I found out one of my best friends found out her boyfriend (who she met at uni) who she was besotted with had another girlfriend who he had a separate phone to text with, he had them both so deluded and nether of them had a clue of each others existence.
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    (Original post by Nattynoo101)
    woops looks like anon didn't work... oh well.
    I agree with what everyone says so far. =)
    And as he never contacted her again, could also have been an extremely bad mistake...not that it will help you .
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Nattynoo101)
    Hey you said you wanted me to let you know what happens

    I managed to get through to him in America about half an hour ago. He genuinely sounded stunned and had no idea who this girl even is. Considering I don't know who this girl is, I'm going with my best judgement and believe him. The rest of our conversation was great, catching up and hearing about how the wedding went, and he sounded extremely surprised to hear from me and had no idea how I got the number hehe.

    One of my friends thinks i'm being totally stupid. But hey, at the end of the day this choice is one that for the moment makes me happy. If it comes round and bites me on the arse at a later date, well...they can be ready to say they told me so.

    Thank you for the advice everyone. I seriously can't begin to describe the relief I feel! I've been a depressed crazy wreck for the last 3 days and have slept for 4 hours in the last 2 days from worry.
    i think.. you should be very careful. you're in a position to get messed about here quite alot. imo you're trusting him very easily, and having been in this situation myself that sort of trust just leads to them just totally ripping you apart.

    i hope im wrong but i think i dont blame your friend for being so unsure about it! remember ppl outside of it are probably easier to give a subjective opinion.. you're in love with him so thats a bit tuff.
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    I think you should be very careful. I had similar things happen with my ex - he denied it outright and it turned out he was lying the whole time.

    Also something to think about - although this girl might be lying about what happened, she might be having a sort of "online relationship" with him if that makes sense, and wants to stir between you two so she can have him to herself. I've also had that with my ex, and I would say that's cheating too because it's emotional cheating even though it's not physical.

    You're being very strong, but I can't help but think you're being quite naive about it.. just be careful.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Nattynoo101)
    ...If he was offered sex, i'm not sure that he would have the willpower to stop himself. He has an extremely high sex drive...

    I have saved the conversations that I've had with the girl, and I am going to sit with him and make him read them, see how he reacts.

    Ugh...what a complicated mess
    First part: if hes that big a manwhore that he can stop himself having sex, no matter how large a sex drive, hes a horrible person.

    Second part: People can be very convincing liars in the most critical of circumstances.

    Third Part: yeah, i'd agree with that
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    (Original post by Nattynoo101)
    Thanks, I'm not going to let it rest with him, but right now it's very difficult to talk about this over the phone. I still have a niggling doubt in my mind that it is true. He has always had lots of female friends, and can be a little flirtatious which can probably give the wrong impression to girls. If he was offered sex, i'm not sure that he would have the willpower to stop himself. He has an extremely high sex drive. If he did cheat, I think it would have been more of a physical thing than emotional, seeing as she said he didn't get in touch afterwards.

    I have saved the conversations that I've had with the girl, and I am going to sit with him and make him read them, see how he reacts.

    Ugh...what a complicated mess

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    First part: if hes that big a manwhore that he can stop himself having sex, no matter how large a sex drive, hes a horrible person.

    Second part: People can be very convincing liars in the most critical of circumstances.

    Third Part: yeah, i'd agree with that
    This. If he 'wouldn't be able to stop himself' as you say, and if this girl who talked to you on MSN said she slept with him/offered, then haven't you just said yourself that he's most likely been cheating on you? Sorry to be harsh, but you're being incredibly naive.
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    (Original post by Nattynoo101)
    Yes I guess I have :/ I know i'm being naive.. but i'm in a very difficult situation.

    I think tonight I will proposition him.. he tells me the truth...based on the fact that if he admits to me he did it, explains why and everything...I will try my very hardest to forgive him. However, if he lies, and I find out at a later date that it is in fact true..then he will be a very sorry man and out the door before he has time to blink.

    I want to trust him, and I want to believe him, so i'm willing to give him one last chance to save our relationship.
    Make sure you show him the chat logs like you said. Oh, and I don't think it's just him you should be asking. You should talk to the girl more, or maybe some of his female friends, they might know more.
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    (Original post by Indubitably)
    This. If he 'wouldn't be able to stop himself' as you say, and if this girl who talked to you on MSN said she slept with him/offered, then haven't you just said yourself that he's most likely been cheating on you? Sorry to be harsh, but you're being incredibly naive.
    Agreed. Actually I agree with everything you and Anon #2 have said.

    I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him if I were you. I don't think I'd even try and salvage the relationship, what is it if you can't trust him to keep it in his pants when he's supposed to love you and only you?

    Good luck with your talk anyway OP
 
 
 
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