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My boyfriend thinks having an online relationship/cyber sex isn't cheating! watch

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    (Original post by Fawn)
    Who says cybersex is emotionally attached?
    I'd be willing to accept this quote: Only if you acknowledge that flirting with other people in a sexual manner is not cheating. That touching another person physically is not cheating. But in that case why would spending lots of time in a romantic sense be cheating, or having sex with someone?

    It's usually unconsciously acknowledged that relationships are exclusive. There's no reason that the emotional element should be treated any different from the physical element. Having cybersex is akin to flirting with another person.
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    (Original post by Tombola)
    I'd be willing to accept this quote: Only if you acknowledge that flirting with other people in a sexual manner is not cheating. That touching another person physically is not cheating. But in that case why would spending lots of time in a romantic sense be cheating, or having sex with someone?

    It's usually unconsciously acknowledged that relationships are exclusive. There's no reason that the emotional element should be treated any different from the physical element. Having cybersex is akin to flirting with another person.
    Flirting is not cheating, touching physically is. Though last time I checked this wasn't entirely possible with today's technology.
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    Online relationships aren't proper relationships.
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    Would you consider it cheating if he had a "woo hoo" with someone on the Sims 2 in which the other sim taking part wasn't made in your image ?
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    (Original post by Fawn)
    Flirting is not cheating, touching physically is. Though last time I checked this wasn't entirely possible with today's technology.
    Most people would agree with me that cheating isn't just confined to physical touch. If a husband spent hours a day with someone else, but never initiated physical touch then it'd still be considered as cheating, unless you care to argue otherwise?

    Emotional cheating is much more harmful to a relationship than physically cheating. You can't argue out of this one, unless you want to turn a blind eye.
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    Turn the argument around. Why would physically touching someone be cheating? What's so special about touching someone?

    Flirting can be harmless. At the same time it can be using someone as a emotional tool to fufill your needs, or it could be with the intent to attract others. Right, so why can't having sex with someone else be considered as just fufilling a need. Why does it get labelled as cheating?

    Questions indeed.
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    The fact that he consideres cybersex is enough reason to dump him

    just because it's so pathetically lame
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    It is cheating.
    I don't want to get into an argument about what exactly cheating is with the people saying it is just like watching porn. At the end of the day it is interacting in a sexual way with another human being, the fact it is over the internet doesn't really make any difference. I know I would feel betrayed if my boyfriend did it with someone, and like Sundous says it really is very lame.

    As for flirting, I admit I do it sometimes, but I think basically if you wouldn't do it in front of your partner you know it is wrong, and most people wouldn't flirt with other people in front of their partner.
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    (Original post by Fawn)
    Would you think watching porn is cheating? :rolleyes:
    That's nowhere near the same. So don't be so naive to think so
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    IMO...you should say you're also having an online relationship or whatever he calls it...if it doesn't bother him then he probably doesn't care about you enough to be in a proper relationship anyway...and if he kicks up a fuss then he'll realise he's being a **** about the whole thing. Fair enough if you're both fine with each other having 'online relationships' but if you're not happy with it then he should respect that if he wants to be with you.
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    (Original post by Clements-)
    That's nowhere near the same. So don't be so naive to think so
    Perhaps you shouldn't be so naive and read the other posts, pumpkin
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    (Original post by Fawn)
    Perhaps you shouldn't be so naive and read the other posts, pumpkin
    I have and it's still completely ridiculous.
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    #1

    Thanks for your replies guys..
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    I'm just gonna be incredibly ignorant and make a general presumption without assessing his good qualities or making excuses for his behaviour.

    He's an *******.
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    Er wtf, dump him! Sounds like an idiot and you're not going to trust him after this are you tbh, there'll always be that doubt. Move on to bigger and better things
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    I think cheating online is probably about as funny as a concept as the fact that said person is probably 'cheating' with a 13 year old whose parents are out shopping or a 28 year old World Of Warcraft superfan.
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    My heart breaks today and my tears flow, so listen up students!! (im 42)
    I met my partner online just over two years ago. I am divorced, he is 37 and single. We have had a distance relationship (2hrs) for all of that time, 3 nights a weeks he stays with myself and my two children aged 14/12.

    We have the most amazing and awsum relationship. He is shy in nature, im quite the opposite, cheeky and full of life! Our relationship has survived despite the odds of so many things. He loves me, cherishes me and adores me beyond words. Im was truely blessed and very lucky to have found what "true love" really is.

    October last year i found some chat logs where he had been chatting online to girls and masturbating with them via webcam. It absolutely rocked the foundation of my soul. I never in my wildest dreams imagined he was capable of anything like this, he was totally devoted to me, to us, and to our future. It took some weeks and alot of talking to get things back on track. HE DIDNT BELIEVE IT WAS CHEATING (how convenient). I forgave him because i figured this had been alot of his past behaviour and tht if was prepared to delete everything and get rid of his "little black online book" that we could move on. Our relationship was too beautiful to not give him a second chance. I swore to him that if it ever ever happened again that we would be over, right there and then. He believed that, 100% and knew that would be the case.

    He deleted his my space, his facebook and every single contact on his msn, besides our families and four of his mates. This helped rebuild the trust that he had lost. His computer was damaged in a shift two months later and he never replaced it. Problem over. He talked one month ago of plans for marriage and his visions of how our future together looked.

    Thursday he bought a new computer. WIthin 2 days he had subscribed to two adult dating sites and set up profiles for chat and web cam stuff of a sexual nature. I am stunned, shocked, hurt and the bottom of my world has just fallen out. Of course i called it off on the spot and havent returned any contact for the past 4 days. He wont even admit he did it, said someone must be playing a cruel joke. He has bombarded me with calls and texts telling me how much he loves me, that i am his soulmate and that i have to take his word and believe him and not leave him. It is breaking my heart.

    Moral, please girls, the addictive behaviour will never ever change. You will always be dealing with this. our relationship means more to him than life itself, yet he risked it all and lost it all for an addiction of ego crap and cheap thrills. Our sex life was nothing short of incredible and amazing. We had it all. And now its gone. Leave him now.
 
 
 
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