Hi,
Basically, I'm really looking into and considering becoming a member of the Roman Catholic faith. I was baptised into the C of E, but my parents have never actively practised (only going to weddings, christenings, funerals and Midnight Mass). I've been a member of my local Anglican church choir for almost four years and have since been confirmed, and lately, since reading into Catholicism, I've found it impossible to be part of a church formed from one man's greed and bullying. I can't accept that the Queen has authority over men's consciences. There are also other reasons - my current Anglican church is really cold and the people are unfriendly. It's not a good worship atmosphere.
Lately I've been speaking to Catholic friends, the Father of the local RC church and have done a lot of thinking and reading. I'm convinced that this is the right faith for me, on so many levels. However, my parents have found my books and learnt of my visits to Mass. My mother is being really awful; she's started using the beliefs of my dead grandfather against me. He was an alcoholic and an atheist. When she sees me with a book on Catholicism she shouts "Your grandfather would be turning in his grave - you'd absolutely disgust him!". Purely because he had a catholic first wife, and as an atheist couldn't deal with it. It's really upsetting me. I've tried arguing, that because my grandfather was so racist, he wouldn't like my Anglicanism either (a true point, he despised all organised religion). I saw him die without faith, and this pushed me into growing into faith of my own. Am I right in thinking this is emotional blackmail?
She also shouts at me that it's a fad and I'm supporting child abuse. My dads accused me of being racist and ignorant, when I know I'm none of these things. She's also blaming a woman at my current church (who doesn't even know I'm contemplating conversion), and I'm worried she'll go and verbally or physically attack this person, thinking that they've pushed me into it (not true in the slightest!). I'm 18, I believe I have the right to decide for myself where my faith should be. I know if I continue to go to the Anglican church my conscience will be torn to pieces and I genuinely fear for my soul (please don't laugh!). At the same time, I don't want all of this conflict with my parents. They aren't staunchly Anglican, so I don't see why they should have a problem. I'm really worried I'll be disowned. They're focused on the rumours that they've heard about Catholicism and don't seem to acknowledge it is the largest christian denomination in the world.
I'm off to Uni in September, and if I convert I think I'll do so there. I'm really not wanting to cause a family argument, or sacrifice my spiritual well being for them. Clearly, I care about my family but I think this conversion is what God wants me to do and I'm torn between following my marked path or becoming really unhappy due to my parents.