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    (Original post by Keraroboli Roko Rosae)
    I don't need love if love is based on the fact that I will never get the most beautiful girl.

    The only thing I will ever be able to do with the most beautiful ones is to buy them, as escorts or so.

    If that's all I can get, it's better than loosing time waiting till some average-looking girl will fall in love with me.
    Who do you expect to get, Christina Aguilera?
    Love isn't entirely based on beauty. To say that you don't want love unless you have the "most beautiful girl" is ridiculous, what kind of a world do you live in anyway?
    How about an average looking girl who is a very kind, loving and intelligent person? What's wrong with that?

    Ps: are you a muslim by any chance? just curious.
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    (Original post by Eva2)
    Who do you expect to get, Christina Aguilera?
    Love isn't entirely based on beauty. To say that you don't want love unless you have the "most beautiful girl" is ridiculous, what kind of a world do you live in anyway?
    How about an average looking girl who is a very kind, loving and intelligent person? What's wrong with that?

    Ps: are you a muslim by any chance? just curious.
    Beauty is not love. And I never said the opposite.

    But love should be with someone you like and you truly want, not someone you settle with because you can't find any better.

    Beauty is an add-on to love.

    Of course, an average-looking girl who is very kind, loving, intelligent, etc. would be nice.
    But a beautiful girl who is very kind, loving, intelligent, etc. would be even better to me.
    (although, to be honest, I don't care a lot about "intelligence")

    Knowing that both average-looking and beautiful girls are able to love, be kind and intelligent, I would certainly prefer the additional feature of beauty.

    What is important to me is that I have CHOICE.

    P.S.: Baptized Christian, but have developed my personal life philosophies over time. What I learned from Christianity is that all people are equal, regardless of their social status or beauty. But if they are, then the love I would get from a beautiful girl would be no worse nor better than the love I would get from an average-looking girl. Therefore, I prefer following my taste and get the love from the beautiful girl.
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    (Original post by Keraroboli Roko Rosae)
    Beauty is not love. And I never said the opposite.

    But love should be with someone you like and you truly want, not someone you settle with because you can't find any better.

    Beauty is an add-on to love.

    Of course, an average-looking girl who is very kind, loving, intelligent, etc. would be nice.
    But a beautiful girl who is very kind, loving, intelligent, etc. would be even better to me.
    (although, to be honest, I don't care a lot about "intelligence")

    Knowing that both average-looking and beautiful girls are able to love, be kind and intelligent, I would certainly prefer the additional feature of beauty.

    What is important to me is that I have CHOICE.

    P.S.: Baptized Christian, but have developed my personal life philosophies over time. What I learned from Christianity is that all people are equal, regardless of their social status or beauty. But if they are, then the love I would get from a beautiful girl would be no worse nor better than the love I would get from an average-looking girl. Therefore, I prefer following my taste and get the love from the beautiful girl.
    You're Christian...well, I'm not prejudiced, but that explains a lot.
    Of course beauty is an extra bonus, but you shouldn't limit your choices to women who are, in your opinion, beautiful. The perfect women you are talking about constitute the minimum population. That said, no wonder you can't find the girl you want. If I were you, I would try being a lot less picky over who you choose.
    Besides, there's such a thing as inner beauty. If you love a woman, you're much more likely to find her attractive than if you don't love her.
    So, it's love first, beauty second, not the other way round.
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    (Original post by Eva2)
    You're Christian...well, I'm not prejudiced, but that explains a lot.
    What does it explain?! I'm baptized, but I don't practice it in a dogmatic way as others, i.e. I have my own values and life philosophies. For example I condone prostitution and polygamy.

    Besides, there's such a thing as inner beauty. If you love a woman, you're much more likely to find her attractive than if you don't love her.
    So, it's love first, beauty second, not the other way round.
    I call this compromising, or deceiving oneself. As I said, I think that everyone has inner beauty, thus I'd prefer someone with inner AND outer beauty.
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    i don't think they're anything wrong with what he's saying. why should he settle for someone he is not attracted to so that he has someone rather than waiting for someone who he really likes (which is the pretty kind) surely all he needs is some confidence, confidence is very attractive to any type of girl. I would resent someone that i had "settled" for and feel unhappy and unfulfilled in that relationship. if what he wants is a great girl with a good personality AND good looks, who are any of you to say he's not allowed to want that. Don't we all want that?
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    When people say 'im being my self but i'm not getting the girls' well the problem is that your to shy, you SHOULD be yourself but don't shy away, you have to get out of your comfert zone and try things but by still remaining you.
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    (Original post by Gibb~)
    When people say 'im being my self but i'm not getting the girls' well the problem is that your to shy, you SHOULD be yourself but don't shy away, you have to get out of your comfert zone and try things but by still remaining you.
    (Original post by twizzle)
    surely all he needs is some confidence, confidence is very attractive to any type of girl.
    Not in my case.

    I know very well what it means to "be myself" and I'm FAR from being shy. I'm one of the most extroverted and socially outward people I know on Earth and even break the ice on behalf of other people.

    Please read properly: My problem is NOT how to get girls.
    I get many girls, quantitatively. But I don't like them!!!!!!!!
    My problem is how to get the girls whom I LIKE.

    And apparently, according to most people here, they are out of my league.

    I am always myself around them. I am never shy or pretending to be someone else.
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    pretend your confident....it always works!
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    (Original post by twizzle)
    i don't think they're anything wrong with what he's saying. why should he settle for someone he is not attracted to so that he has someone rather than waiting for someone who he really likes (which is the pretty kind) surely all he needs is some confidence, confidence is very attractive to any type of girl. I would resent someone that i had "settled" for and feel unhappy and unfulfilled in that relationship. if what he wants is a great girl with a good personality AND good looks, who are any of you to say he's not allowed to want that. Don't we all want that?
    but leagues exist. if he is too bad looking to get hot girls to like him, it's how life works. :yes:
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    (Original post by Keraroboli Roko Rosae)
    What does it explain?! I'm baptized, but I don't practice it in a dogmatic way as others, i.e. I have my own values and life philosophies. For example I condone prostitution and polygamy.



    I call this compromising, or deceiving oneself. As I said, I think that everyone has inner beauty, thus I'd prefer someone with inner AND outer beauty.
    :facepalm: You still don't get it. I'm not going to make any more efforts if you can't even be bothered to attempt to understand what I'm saying. All I'm going to say is that you're not going to get very far in your love life with that sort of attitude.
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    (Original post by Eva2)
    :facepalm: You still don't get it. I'm not going to make any more efforts if you can't even be bothered to attempt to understand what I'm saying. All I'm going to say is that you're not going to get very far in your love life with that sort of attitude.
    I didn't follow which specific thought/attitude of mine you're saying "I don't get it".
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    well people get frustrated if they offer advice, and the person with the problem refuses to listen.

    to me you should:

    - try and seek out less shallow girls
    - improve your own look. get a new haircut, a new wardrobe.
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    I didn't refuse to listen
    I don't understand/follow the logic.


    P.S.: What ARE less shallow girls? Where are they?
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    or it means you haven't met the right person. You can make up a personality if you want but after a whule your get pissed of with prtending and any relationship you form will fall apart
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    (Original post by Keraroboli Roko Rosae)
    I didn't follow which specific thought/attitude of mine you're saying "I don't get it".
    What I meant is that you don't understand the fact that a relationship will eventually fall apart if it's entirely based on good looks. Until you grasp this concept, there is little chance of you having a meaningful relationship with a girl.
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    (Original post by Eva2)
    What I meant is that you don't understand the fact that a relationship will eventually fall apart if it's entirely based on good looks. Until you grasp this concept, there is little chance of you having a meaningful relationship with a girl.
    Hmmm, then perhaps you misunderstood me.

    I am saying that I base the CHOICE of the woman on good looks, and THEN try to build a good relationship with her.

    Put it very simply, let's say there are 20 girls, 10 of whom are subjectively good-looking to me and 10 of whom are subjectively bad-looking to me.

    I choose to interact only with the 10 good-looking ones, and hope that with one of them I can create a meaningful relationship.

    Are you saying that the CHOICE of whom to interact with should also not be based on looks?
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    Don't change who you are just for the sake of getting girls. It's not worth it.
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    (Original post by rajandkwameali)
    but leagues exist. if he is too bad looking to get hot girls to like him, it's how life works. :yes:
    It's worth pointing out someone isn't better than someone else just because they're 'hot'. No girl is too good for me and I'm not too good for any girl.
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    (Original post by Keraroboli Roko Rosae)
    Hmmm, then perhaps you misunderstood me.

    I am saying that I base the CHOICE of the woman on good looks, and THEN try to build a good relationship with her.

    Put it very simply, let's say there are 20 girls, 10 of whom are subjectively good-looking to me and 10 of whom are subjectively bad-looking to me.

    I choose to interact only with the 10 good-looking ones, and hope that with one of them I can create a meaningful relationship.

    Are you saying that the CHOICE of whom to interact with should also not be based on looks?
    The answer to your last question is NO. It's all very well if a girl has good looks and everything, but there are other factors to consider when you are making a choice, such as things that you have in common. You cannot make a choice solely based on good looks. If you do so, you will find that most of the girls you date are boring and not fun to be with.
    Plus, if a girl finds out that you're only dating her because she's pretty, she's bound to dump you immediately.
 
 
 
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