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23 and never had a girlfriend! watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've got used to spending evenings in watching TV or on the computer and have wasted many days doing nothing but strumming my guitar and feeling sorry for myself.

    Ah... I've been there.


    Wait I am still there. :banghead:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I got rejected by a girl when I was younger and this kind of left a lasting shyness in me - I feel incapable of asking a girl out because I fear rejection.
    That's your main problem, online dating or meeting people won't help if you're going to be afraid to ask them out (although both are good ideas).

    You will get rejections. Everyone does. It's part of life. You accept the rejection and move on.

    Get over your fear of rejections and it'll be a major step. Just go to your local shopping centre and ask random girls out. You'll get a lot of rejections and you'll realize that actually it's not so bad, especially if you get a few 'yes'es as well :-)

    Don't worry about the fact you're inexperienced, if a girl likes you she's not going to care that you haven't had a gf before.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've got used to spending evenings in watching TV or on the computer and have wasted many days doing nothing but strumming my guitar and feeling sorry for myself.
    You've got to get out there!! Confide in a friend and take them for moral support. Join sports/social clubs, go to parties. Get to know your friend's friends as friends first (tongue-twister i know) until you're comfortable enough around them to ask them out. If they say no, their loss at least you have no regrets. If they say yes, thread closed.
    Don't stress though, its completely normal, and I bet a lot of girls would find it sweet.
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    Ok so I will be the one to mention reading 'the rules of the game' by Neil Straus. I would suggest Reading this because it offers ways of building up to asking out girls, while taking very small steps day by day.

    Oh and don't ever be afraid of rejection. It's should be something to laugh about. You can't be everyones cup of tea. Go out and deliberately get rejected by girls. Do it so many times that the fear is taken out of it.

    Worked for me.
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    (Original post by Psyk)
    That seems like strange advice, but then again my own sexual orientation has always been pretty obvious to me. If he was gay surely he'd have realised by now that he finds men attractive?
    It's not as easy as "knowing it". There have been a lot of middle-aged people who realized they were actually gay at 40 or so. The push society exerts on people's sexual orientation can confuse some.
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    (Original post by Flying Cookie)
    It's not as easy as "knowing it". There have been a lot of middle-aged people who realized they were actually gay at 40 or so. The push society exerts on people's sexual orientation can confuse some.
    Or you could be more than a little biased.
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    (Original post by Flying Cookie)
    It's not as easy as "knowing it". There have been a lot of middle-aged people who realized they were actually gay at 40 or so. The push society exerts on people's sexual orientation can confuse some.
    I guess, it's just hard for me to relate.
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    (Original post by Meagz)
    Ah... I've been there.


    Wait I am still there. :banghead:

    I'm there at the moment to, i was doing everything your sig tol me to stop doing .

    Oh well it will all change come august.
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    I wouldn't worry about it. It just so happens you haven't met someone you can click with. I'm surprised you didn't meet anyone at uni or at least make a close female friend? Did you commute to uni or?..
    You sound nice, I'm sure you could find someone on here to talk to that lives in your area. There's more likely to be someone you could click with here than outside as a lot of people here have common values.
    23 is young you've got so much time to meet someone you can get on with. If you feel kinda shy maybe try being more confident or just meet someone similar to you. I wouldn't advise dating sites i'd say maybe try joining a forum about something your interested in and meet someone that way, through interests not someone on a dating site whos likely to be desperate!

    Where are you from? :P

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    I think you should just try and focus on speaking to girls and becoming comfortable talking to them, once you're happy with that the rest will just happen!!

    Maybe you could set yourself daily challenges, just simple things like chatting to a cashier when you're shopping and asking her how her days going or if you go to the cinema asking the girl if she's seen the film. Just little questions to lure girls into conversation will probably give you loads more confidence talking to them!! Just try and talk to every girl you're introduced to

    If you want to go to clubs to meet girls thats fine, if you manage to pull it might give you a bit of extra confidence!! Still, i wouldn't suggest clubbing for meeting a girlfriend.
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    I feel for the OP. In uni, I had two absolutely lovely girls who were shy like me, and were clearly interested, but I was so afraid of losing them as friends (didn't have many, unfortunately) that I never got the nerve to ask them out (at the time, I didn't pick up on signals well). I realize that what I had was rare (women that I actually liked being interested in me), and I've promised myself to not let that happen again. I would recommend that the OP gets out there and try to meet as many new people as possible, provided that work/research doesn't get in the way too often. If you're shy, it's best to make friends with people you're attracted to. If you ask them out and they say no, well, you can keep looking, and go back to your other friends in case things get awkward with the girl you asked out (it's not always abt lack of attraction in these cases, sometimes you'll just wind up in the friend zone and not realize it).

    What I've realized is that establishing a friendship first (and leaving a bit of mystery in the relationship) does help your chances, especially if you're not amazingly attractive physically (you might be, I dunno).
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    (Original post by Flying Cookie)
    I'm very serious here.

    A lot of people who just "can't seem to find anyone right" for them... may be looking for the wrong sex. I don't know you personally, but it won't hurt considering your sexual orientation before actually taking yourself as straight by default.
    This is not the first time ive seen a guy say he's having trouble finding a gf and some female comes along with the suggestion that he tries going gay. Each time I am astounded. Females clearly have no clue.
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    (Original post by Wave)
    This is not the first time ive seen a guy say he's having trouble finding a gf and some female comes along with the suggestion that he tries going gay. Each time I am astounded. Females clearly have no clue.
    You do realise this thread's from 2009? :eek:
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    (Original post by ttx)
    Just go to your local shopping centre and ask random girls out. You'll get a lot of rejections and you'll realize that actually it's not so bad, especially if you get a few 'yes'es as well :-)
    Why do guys still peddle this ridiculous advice? successfully hitting on randomers in the street is a total myth. Anyone using their brain can figure out the vast majority of females out on hight street or whatever don't want to be hassled by random strangers. Now i'm not saying it's totally impossible but unless you're super charming and know how to play to every scenario (bumping into someone and dropping stuff, asking for directions etc) it is highly unlikely. If that doesn't convince you just think to yourself what proportion of guys got their current partner by hanging around in a shopping centre walking up to girls? it's just something kids do because they haven't yet started to hang around with the opposite gender so going up to them cold is pretty much the only way to meet girls outside of school. Obviously as you get older there will me females in your circle of friends.
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    (Original post by Vikki1805)
    You do realise this thread's from 2009? :eek:
    Do you think the people I quoted are still alive?
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    (Original post by Wave)
    Do you think the people I quoted are still alive?
    Perhaps, who know eh? :nothing:
    I'm just simply pointing it out because you're dragging up an issue someone had roughly 3 years ago...

    ..each to their own.
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    (Original post by Wave)
    This is not the first time ive seen a guy say he's having trouble finding a gf and some female comes along with the suggestion that he tries going gay. Each time I am astounded. Females clearly have no clue.
    douche
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    (Original post by Flying Cookie)
    douche
    Why you calling me a douche. it is the most retarded piece of advice ever. Boneheaded girl comes in to the discussion and thinks that just because she is biologically attracted to males and thinks they are great to have relationships with, a straight guy is gonna feel the same way?
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    (Original post by Wave)
    Why you calling me a douche. it is the most retarded piece of advice ever. Boneheaded girl comes in to the discussion and thinks that just because she is biologically attracted to males and thinks they are great to have relationships with, a straight guy is gonna feel the same way?
    It just so happens I am gay. Bravo =)
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    (Original post by Flying Cookie)
    It just so happens I am gay. Bravo =)
    Ok so you think a straight person is gonna find it so easy to go gay.
 
 
 
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