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    Hi guys, just posting for some general advice.
    So, me and the boyfriend will have been together for one year tomorrow, well today, Sunday. I think this is quite a big thing, a year is a long time for me, I know I'm only young (18) but it's still a big thing, never been with anyone this long, neither has he.
    Anyway, so I went out, bought the card, got a gift and booked a hotel room for the night, knowing he didn't have much money, but I wanted to make it special.
    He just told me he didn't bother to buy a card, because he doesn't have any money. This is obviously a lie, because you can easily buy a card for £1 at the least, and he can easily find that money to spend on food and drink for himself. I wasn't expecting much from him for the one year thing, just a little effort, to show he wanted to celebrate it as well.
    I dont know, it's really upset me, I wanted it to be special, but now he's saying I'm crazy and a bad person because I said he could have bought a card. He said the hotel was a waste of time because he wants to go somewhere on the monday morning. I just feel like a fool for thinking it was a big deal.
    I guess what I'm asking for is some advice? Is a one year celebration a big deal? Was it too much to ask for a card? Am I being too harsh?
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    Did you pay for the hotel room? Is he normally the person that pays when you go out?
    If so, don't worry... he's probably just skint and doesn't like the idea of you (the person he's meant to be providing for) spending lots of money on him. You probably hurt his ego.
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    (Original post by Altruistic1)
    Did you pay for the hotel room? Is he normally the person that pays when you go out?
    If so, don't worry... he's probably just skint and doesn't like the idea of you (the person he's meant to be providing for) spending lots of money on him. You probably hurt his ego.
    Thats just the thing, he never pays for me when we go out, it's always we go halves or I pay for both of us. And yeah, I paid for the hotel room, which I'll now have to try to cancel. He's just turned really nasty saying how he doesn't care about one year blah blah.
    I just dont know how to respond.
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    (Original post by Gujii_Giirl)
    Maybe there's something on his mind bothering him that's why he can't concentrate on the relationship at the moment.. If his usually like this then I really don't know what to say.
    See, he does get like this sometimes, he'll be alright, then he'll just flip out and turn nasty and horrible. He did it on my birthday and I just hate it that he's doing it again on this day that meant a lot to me. There isn't anything bothering him, I've asked.
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    That's horrible

    One year is well worth celebrating even if it's just spending time together! The fact he didn't even buy you a card gives you every right to be upset. I'd feel gutted as well if I went to the effort to make it special. Just talk to him I guess, in a nice way and he may come round. I don't see why he wouldn't.
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    Certainly a downtrodden thing, I must say.....

    Surely if not the card, then simple appreciation would have sufficed.
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    Aww yeah, that is mean. A card certainly isn't worth making such a huge fuss about! (on his behalf not yours) And telling you that booking a hotel is a waste of time is such a nasty thing to say. Gujii_Giirl is right; if he's going to have mood swings at random, how unstable is that?! He may end up being really nasty on a day you really need him (like if a relative or friend has fallen sick) and will end up hurting you.
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    (Original post by Gujii_Giirl)
    And now I've found a BF who's amazing and appreciates me :love:

    Or maybe.. His got a surprise for you? :o: You never know lol.. See what happens :p: Good luck hun! x
    Way to help out and induce false hope.
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    Why are so many women fussed about anniversaries?
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    A year was a big deal for me too, but as it happened because of long distance I didn't even spend it with my boyfriend, we said we'd buy each other presents and stuff when we saw each other but never did that either
    To begin with, I was like you, thinking "its a big deal, why can't we make an effort" but in the long haul of things its not a big deal at all
    Be thankful that you have a boyfriend who loves you, and take his word for it
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    Your boyfriend sucks balls
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    So you book a hotel and he *****es about it? Holy crap.

    I've kept all my anniversary cards, it's not a lot to expect from your boyfriend. He could have made you one with a pen and some printer paper if he was that skint.
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    Wow, that's low. :\ I don't really know what to say apart from ouch, and :hugs: for you OP.
    Is he normally affectionate and grateful for things?
    Maybe he's feeling quite depressed about something and has lost sight of the bigger picture here, I'm not sure, but being ungrateful about a hotel room and all your effort is really quite mean.
    I can see what he means about the year not being that big a deal in the sense that it's only time, and the fact that you love each other and living everything in the moment is far more important. But other than that I don't know what to say other than that I'll send you a card if you want? :p: seriously, I can't believe he didn't even make one or anything, or just say "I'm really sorry I didn't get a card, but [insert lovely words here about how much you mean to him]."
    Meh. I just hope things look up for you. You're clearly a nice person and you've done something really sweet for him here and you deserve better than his reaction to it. I hope he apologises or that it at least gets sorted in one way or another. Good luck
 
 
 
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