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    **** modesty. If i'm in a position where i'm better than everyone else at something, i'll make for damn sure everyone knows it. OP is right, i shouldn't have to feel ashamed of my achievements just because everyone else is lagging behind. Like usher says, just pop your collar, you know you're doing good because they're jealous. being exceptional is something to be celebrated and i absolutely cannot stand haters that act that way because you had the nerve to be better than them.
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    People being overly modest can be annoying (I like people to have some confidence in themselves); but so can arrogance. As with most things, a middle line is the best!
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    I think modesty can be simply a way of being polite and sensitive people use it to avoid looking big-headed. But equally, theres no problem with people acknowledging their talents as long as they dont brag to less able people for a sense of superiority.
    What about in terms of attractiveness? If people werent modest then they are usually criticised and disliked.
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    (Original post by ScillyRose)
    Modesty is a very British trait, it's part of our culture. We're loosening up a bit with all the American influences now thattechnology is so widespread, which as you say is probably a good thing, but a little modesty is a good thing to have, surely?
    not if somebody else is forcing you to be modest. if you want to be modest then cool but if somebody is more of an extrovert then the pressure to be modest is basically a suppression of their personality. this should not be the case.

    note to responses. please stop equating success to money. money is only one form of many, many forms of success....i was not just on about money i only used it as an example
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    Agreed.

    Modesty is a big turn-off. I absolutely love people who are confident about their abilities and personality and I cannot possibly stand those who constantly deny their achievements, the "I can't" type, or "It's not a big deal" type, or "Others will beat me" type.

    Don't exaggerate the point, there is nothing more annoying than a person who brags about nothing and shows off... shallowness. I like those who show and prove how good they are and afterwards acknowledge it, accept it and brag about it. There is a very fine line between the two, just make sure you're actually good at what you think you are. And learn to take a compliment.

    If you feel unsure about your reaction after someone compliments you, either smile humbly and say "Thank you," or something funny like "I have to be good at something," but don't act anxious and almost offended by saying "You're lying," or "Not true,"
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    (Original post by PAPAdawg)
    Thank youj, this is what i should have said in the OP. I a person is naturally of a modest disposition then that's their right to be modest. What i am against is the fact that in british culture particularly which is a very self loathing one there is actually a huge social pressure to be modest even when you do not want to be. it's like society holing a gun to the head and saying you must be embarrassed about your success
    Lol your welcome, I got what you meant
    I'm often modest about certain things because I feel that if I admit I am good at that thing people will think of me as being arrogant and big headed
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    It must be known:

    Not all Cheshirians agree to this thread.
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    (Original post by Easykill)
    I think modesty can be simply a way of being polite and sensitive people use it to avoid looking big-headed. But equally, theres no problem with people acknowledging their talents as long as they dont brag to less able people for a sense of superiority.
    What about in terms of attractiveness? If people werent modest then they are usually criticised and disliked.
    yeah thios is a pain. i'm no brad pitt okay (not modest..just honest)...but when people dare to have a very admirable and healthy confidence in their apperence they are called big headed....yet at the opposite end of the spectrum those with body dismorphia for example are told they must become confident in their looks. i can hear the voices of those reading this in my head...''a middle ground is best blah blah''....but if the middle ground is between too opposites then surely all middle grouns are neutral...which means what,.that we never havge an opinion on anything? middle grounds are stupid

    also, you only have to look at the way girls especially tear apart confident girls for proof that the pressure to be modest almost always is a result of the envy of the less blessed
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    I actually agree with you to an extent OP. We should not be afraid/ashamed to encourage and congratulate success. It seems to be a perennial British thing - we should be more like the Americans (that said, being successful =/= excuse to be a douche)
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    I sort of agree with OP, except if you have money you shouldn't go around going ROFL IM RICH or LOOK AT HOW MANY CARS I OWN because then you're acting like a parvenu and that's very not British. If you're moneyed or landed you should act how the landed and moneyed classes in Britain traditionally acted, i.e. with style and class, not going around telling people how rich you are or buying things for the sake of buying them.
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    You're assuming that your achievements automatically make you superior. People have different experiences of life, many of them valuable in different ways.
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    I think modesty is fine. Confidence and pride are fine. Arrogance is not.
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    (Original post by spex)
    **** modesty. If i'm in a position where i'm better than everyone else at something, i'll make for damn sure everyone knows it. OP is right, i shouldn't have to feel ashamed of my achievements just because everyone else is lagging behind. Like usher says, just pop your collar, you know you're doing good because they're jealous. being exceptional is something to be celebrated and i absolutely cannot stand haters that act that way because you had the nerve to be better than them.
    That's fine, but if you a shoving you amazingness down my throat I reserve the right to think of you as an arrogant ******
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    (Original post by EmK_89)
    I think modesty is fine. Confidence and pride are fine. Arrogance is not.
    Yeah but there is such a fine line between confidence and arrogance that confidence is often misinterpreted as arrogance which is why people feel the need to be modest.
    But like I said before it is wrong that people are forced to be modest when they have a talent, just because they don't want to appear arrogant.
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    (Original post by Pr!ya)
    Lol your welcome, I got what you meant
    I'm often modest about certain things because I feel that if I admit I am good at that thing people will think of me as being arrogant and big headed
    it is a shame. personally, i dont really have any talents or any money at all...but as a still young man i am sure i will one day find some and when that day comes i dont think i should be embarrassed about it...surely it should be a cause for celebration? i've never been envious of others talents..i grown up on a council estate where most people are very angry towards the talented...particularly the wealthy...but that switch has just never clicked in my head. even when i was getting bullied at school because my shoes were split...when a ferrari drove past or i went to a house of a friend with wealthy parents i just never ever felt evious..i felt great...i felt great that there was hapiness and success in this world. when people have more than me it makes me feel great because i want people to have a better life than me...and as a capitalist at heart i am also hopeful mine can imrpove. when a local lad was signed by a premier league club, i dint know him but he was at my school, i wont name him (not modest..just sensible) many of my friends were appaled he was earning thousands a week....i thought it fantastic. at uni i will struggle to pay accomodation...but whilst a friend of mine recently got torn to pieces in a debate we had with some others because his parents will pay his acocmodation it was me alone, the poorest by a mile, who stood up for him. good for him...an accident of biorth but a cause of celebration all the same...how dare he be forced to be ashamed of that.

    my inability to be envious seems to have lead to my hate of modesty. this is why i pity those who think everyone should be modest because clearly they are consumed by envy and very unhappy
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    amost invariably imo...when people are called arrogant it is because people mistake their confidence for arrogance....and this misinterpretation is almost invariably because those making the accusation of arrogance have a total lack of confidence in themselves...hence my view that modesty is a weak and unconstructive trait which breed a society with no belief in itself
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    (Original post by PAPAdawg)
    i hate modesty. i have always thought that people who have talents or good fortune should be proud of that....it is unfair, illogical and self destuctive that our society thinks people should basically be embarassed about their strengths...it's an insult to the brilliant and a terrible message to send to the young.

    why should you be modest? how can it be a good thing to play yourself down just to make less talented people feel better? this is unnatural and stupid and annoys me.

    ''people with money never talk about it''....this is often said by poor people to make them feel better about wealthy people who have dared to be at all proud of their achievments, how darew they, it proves that modesty is only a way of making less able people feel better. personally, i think this is horrible. modesty is ugly and the clever, wealthy, successful and such should have the right to be proud about their greatness and feel free to shout it from the rooftops.

    envy is an equally disgusting trait and it is the driving force between the pressure on people to be modest imo.
    you confuse modesty with embarrassment/shame.
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    (Original post by PAPAdawg)
    my inability to be envious seems to have lead to my hate of modesty. this is why i pity those who think everyone should be modest because clearly they are consumed by envy and very unhappy
    Sorry but that is a gross genralisation.

    I am not envious by nature, nor unhappy, and in fact try to be modest myself (not very good at it sometimes)

    I don't feel embarrassed about any abilities I have and normally I try to use them to try and help others.
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    (Original post by PAPAdawg)
    amost invariably imo...when people are called arrogant it is because people mistake their confidence for arrogance....and this misinterpretation is almost invariably because those making the accusation of arrogance have a total lack of confidence in themselves...hence my view that modesty is a weak and unconstructive trait which breed a society with no belief in itself
    What?

    You can be confident and modest at the same time.
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    (Original post by MichaelG)
    you confuse modesty with embarrassment/shame.
    i think modesty is a socially induced form of emabrrass or shame. in the sense that we are told by british society that if you are talented or successful you must be modest....this is a form of shame/embarrassment, albeit an unnatural one (as it is a result of toehr people's attiudes and not the individuals intrinsic feeling)
 
 
 
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