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modesty is such an ugly trait watch

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    Modesty's cute. :cute:
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    I think you can be proud of what you have and your skills and still be modest. I would never brag about anything I'm good at but I'm not going to deny I'm good at things either. I think pride and confidence in your abilities is a great thing to have but there is a very fine line between confidence and arrogance. Also, there is nothing worse then someone who unjustifiably arrogant about something, I can deal with arrogance if the person has something to be arrogant about but otherwise arrogance is the worst trait ever!
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    We have modesty because we realise half of our situation is down to chance
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    People should be proud of something they feel they have earnt - e.g. money and skill. However, money can be inherited and skill can be more natural talent than hard work so people stop trying and don't reach their potential ('Yeh, I never revise for a test and I get Bs') so when people are arrogant about things like that it makes them a pompous prick. All opinion of course.
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    (Original post by Reflexive)
    We have modesty because we realise half of our situation is down to chance
    Yes and this. :P
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    There is a difference celebrating your achievement, and being a smug *******.
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    Arrogance is also an ugly trait, it's about finding the right balance.
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    your all wrong OP. Modesty is the reason why amazing sporting talents such as federer and tiger woods are so popular. I doubt anyone would really admire them as much if they "shouted it from the rooftops" about how good they were.
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    Sooner or later God'll cut you down.
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    (Original post by Deano88)
    I disagree completely. If someone is very talented at something, the fact that they are able to be modest about it, when they really don't have to be, is very commendable. It shows strength of character.

    I would take a modest and extremely talented person, over an average arrogant person anyday. But if the talented person wants to be arrogant, as far as i'm concerned, they have earned the right to be.
    I agree with you. I wish I could me more modest. But what your saying about arrogance is only half true in my opinion. If they are being arrogant in the sense that they actually allow others the acknowledgement of the talent/ability, then yeah. But if they consistently boast and always show off then they have no right.
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    (Original post by kashim91)
    I agree with you. I wish I could me more modest. But what your saying about arrogance is only half true in my opinion. If they are being arrogant in the sense that they actually allow others the acknowledgement of the talent/ability, then yeah. But if they consistently boast and always show off then they have no right.
    Yer i guess so. But a lot of the time, if people go over the top with the arrogance, then people tend to lose respect for the person anyway.
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    (Original post by PAPAdawg)
    not if somebody else is forcing you to be modest. if you want to be modest then cool but if somebody is more of an extrovert then the pressure to be modest is basically a suppression of their personality. this should not be the case.
    But surely a culture forces you to act a certain way? It's just that as it's the way you were brought up,you wouldn't necessarily consider it to be 'forced'?
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    Your mum is such an ugly trait.
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    One important point worth mentioning is that there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. Being confident in your own abilities and proud of your own accomplishments is something that should be encouraged and is completely acceptable. However, believing that your talents and achievements make you superior to everyone else, and constantly flaunting it over others isn't.
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    to the many who have said that modesty is good for the reason that it attracts more friendship and respect than confidence is my exact point! Why should it when much stronger confident characters are not? I'd take a confident individual who has a lot of pride anyday....the fact it takes a lot more courage to be like that in a self loathing culture like the uk where modesty is valued only makes me respect them even more...for having the courage to act against the prevailing moral code which, like most things british, is total nonsense
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    It's not that bad...

    modesty is better than arrogance
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    The idea of modesty is just a form of good mannerisms..

    Thing is, why should someone else give a crap about how the person perceives themselves... If they are over-confident about themselves, let them be... This idea of modesty mostly just benefits the other people,obviously it can damage their social life as others may see it as 'unattractive' however that is their choice...

    It is desirable to have someone who is modest, I mean I am one of those people who doesn't like "bigging myself up" because I feel that if I have an expectation of anything, it will never be met, that's a pattern that is emerging in my life...
    But I think it is a personal choice whether one is modest or not...

    As long as it does not seep into other realms of their personality and start being utterly pompous about it (For example: Damaging other people's confidence in their talents to make themselves feel better) I think every person has the right to not worry about how they would look if they showed how confident they were about their talents
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    I quite like modesty, I find it very attractive. I think it's nice to be aware of your talents, without shouting them out all over the place - it's good to not have affirmation from other people, and be secure in yourself.
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    I agree with the OP to an extent. However, I’d say that it’s not especially ugly of the person with talent to be modest- it’s just ugly that society forces them to be that way to have a life in which they are not shunned everywhere they go.

    Such a person can’t win- if they try to appear modest, society either sees this as yet another example of that person trying to show their strengths- the strength of restraint which is something that the envious don’t have. Or perhaps even worse- they see this as a lack of confidence in that person and they enjoy and exploit the power that they feel that this gives them over that person, who they see a naive.

    Yet if that person appears arrogant, the envious say ‘I told you so- look, they are arrogant’.

    Unless the talented person can find a soul mate with which they can think ‘forget what the world thinks of me’, making people think ‘well, they can’t be that bad if she’s with him’ then they will feel alienated by the responses that people give them and this will conversely make other people feel that the talented person is something of an alien.

    Some people are grossly over rewarded for their ‘talents’ and maybe that is a concern of some people but then, so are some people grossly over rewarded who don’t have such talents.

    The problem is that some or most people seem to love people who are immodest without hidden talent- it’s like they admire their ability to turn lead in to the appearance of gold, which I suppose is a kind of talent. They like this more than people who are gold but who give themselves the appearance of lead, whether through modesty or lack of confidence. The best course may be some happy medium, a constant balancing act to try to stay on the right side of being thought arrogant or being thought a push over. What an a difficult course to have to take when so many people get by on being complete imbeciles.

    But, finally, maybe it is just best to be modest because then any sign of talent is a bonus whereas the immodest person is indicating that they think that their talent is something extraordinary, which it might not necessarily be. Think of some of the least modest people- city bankers for instance. They should be very modest because their practices have cost money- the opposite of what they are supposed to do. But they continue not to be modest because most of them continue on unpunished as bankers with little or no difference to their personal wealth, subsidised by taxpayers. They either convince themselves that they didn’t fail (that it was a worldwide problem) or they see themselves as even more of a success for enjoying the fruits of a fraudulent house of cards that had no difference to them when it collapsed.
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    I hate fake modesty, but I also hate arrogance.
 
 
 
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