Im 19 years old and ive recently finished 6th form and will be going to uni this september. I would like some advice on the best way to make friends at uni and on how to attract girls/have a relationship. I'l give you some background info.
Up until the end of primary school, i was confident bubbly but when i went to secondary school this all changed. Everyone was clever, i struggled academically and as im quite small i was a very easy target. People would abuse me in all sorts of ways. My parents and teachers knew about this but not the full extent of it. Anyways i wanted to leave that school but my parents persuaded me to stay until 5th form.
I moved to a different school for 6th form which is always difficult and i was still very low on confidence. Although i wasnt bullied i still didnt have the confidence to try and make many friends. My gcse grades were average but following on for a-level i struggled even more and i had to do th l6th again. It was very hard having a few of my friends in the year above me and i ended up feeling very depressed. I still pulled myself together so that i gained respectable as grades.
Upper 6th, my year had all left for uni and i kept myself to myself and being still depressed i worked hard especially after receiving uni offers. Although the end of the year wasnt too bad i still suffer from a sever lack of confidence except for very close friends who i knew before. Unis in about 2 months and id like advice on how best to make friends, also i would like to have a relationship with girls but i dont have the confidence. Going to the gym has helped a bit but i still feel mentally scarred, any advice would be appreciated. Thanks
Girl and guys: advice for uni watch
- 19-07-2009 15:36
- 19-07-2009 17:44
When you get to university you're just going to have to try and throw yourself in at the deep end - get involved in lots of different activities and events.
They'll be tons of fresher's events for you to meet new people and lot's of icebreaker events where everybody else will be just as nervous as you are and out looking to meet new people! Do you have any hobbies or anything that you'd like to start? Most universities have plenty of societies and sport clubs - which are great ways to meet new people.
- 19-07-2009 17:50
I can promise pretty much 100% that'll there be something for you to do
As kexy said, all the different activities and societies are a fantastic way of meeting people. You can join the society relating to your course (for example I'm doing history and part of History Society) or something that interests you (I'm a member of the debating society, because I love debating).
That means you meet people both on your course and off. I can guarantee there'll be people feeling exactly the same as you, maybe even more shy. You will meet a group of friends you just click with, without you even realising it! This goes with meeting girls too
Best of luck!
- 19-07-2009 18:01
Just appearing confident is all that is needed when dealing with new people. If you can't actually feel confident, at least try to act it- also, keep in mind that people goin to Uni will be a lot more mature than those that bullied you before, and it is a lot less likely that something like that will happen again.
Like that guy said, nobody finds it easy entering a new environment where you know nobody, so you won't be the only one not entirely comfortable. I hope you do good, try not to overthink it. xx
- 21-07-2009 16:40
Thanks for the replies. I do football and athletics as my main sports. The thing is I always try and act confident although im not but it never seems to work, when im in that situation i go back to what i was before.
- 21-07-2009 16:45
I used to be like the way you have described-
I think the key is to stop caring what people think of you... and just be youreslf. Uni I think is overrated so you need to put the effort in -otherwise these three/five years will fly by and you will have nothing to show for it.
- 21-07-2009 16:56
Thanks for the frank response. More replies please