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unable to relax or be myself Watch

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    Please keep anoymous or delete.
    When im in the company of people i find it hard to just relax and be myself and just talk freely.

    In relationships, although i really like sex, i never feel relaxed and sponatenous during foreplay and sex itself.

    Anyone else like this? Or know why im like this or how i can change?
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    I'm similar, I'm very shy it's tough but I the more you socialise it should get easier.
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    I have never had an orgasm before either.. ever
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    #1

    anyone else?
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    Just drink before. Thats the only solution I can find.
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    Honey is right, it should get easier if you spend more time in people's company.
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    I have the same sort of problem. When I'm around especially people I don't know I really have issues trying to be open and bubbly. My paranoia doesn't help as I find it impossible to believe that people I don't know would like me, I even often have problems with accepting that my closest friends want to be around me.

    Interestingly, however, once I'm in bed/in an ongoing relationship with someone my confidence with them is incredible. It helps my confidence with others somewhat, but I'm hardly ever at total ease with people. I'm an incredibly tense person and even just after sex I find it almost impossible to relax properly. A side affect of this is light sleeping which means I haven't ever felt totally refreshed, even upon just waking up.

    Sucks to be me :p:
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    i just stop thinking too hard. if they like me, great, if they don't, cry me a river
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    hang about more and you will get more confident; do more things get a hobby, meet new people.
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    the more you talk the easier it becomes.
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    (Original post by Psyche05)
    Honey is right, it should get easier if you spend more time in people's company.
    I have though, i have just finished first year at uni and in a way its just made it worse because i don't feel i am as fun and interesting as others etc. Also, got messed around by a guy
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have though, i have just finished first year at uni and in a way its just made it worse because i don't feel i am as fun and interesting as others etc. Also, got messed around by a guy
    Messed around? That sucks . And there's no universal standard of 'fun' or 'interesting', maybe you could talk to someone about the low self esteem, you can pm me if you're lonely :console:
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    You've NEVER had an orgasm? For the love of all that is holy, MASTURBATE ALREADY.
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    You're too concerned about how the other person perceives you and the fact that there is a gap between the way you perceive yourself and the way others see you, you feel uncomfortable.

    Solutions:

    1) You're not really attached to the other person, so meet someone new who you can actually relate to and feel comfortable around.
    2) You might be limiting yourself to just one sex or type of person. Consider your sexual orientation and your attitude towards relationships and sex - are you in just for the sex? Do you want a meaningful emotional bond? Make sure that your partner answers similarly to you to these questions. Good luck and remember: don't have sex if you don't feel comfortable. It's not supposed to hurt or feel wrong, just take it easy.
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    (Original post by flowerfairy)
    I have the same problem, i never feel i can really open up to people and be myself even around my friends... maybe that why i dont have many :o:

    By the way your deviantart stuffs amazing :p:
    I find that I'm ok after a while once I've convinced myself for the day that they actually do like me, but something like them not texting me back after I invite them for lunch with me will set things right back where they were as I tell myself that they're avoiding me so they don't have to hurt my feelings.

    Like I said, my redeeming factor is that once I have someone in bed (doesn't happen often though, mind you) my confidence nearly borders on arrogance. The transformation I undergo is insane. Ironically, because of my outward lack of confidence, many people assume that I'm still a virgin :p: Find a situation where you feel like God and no one can touch you, and exploit it to show people your true self.
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    You just suffer from low confidence/self esteem, it's like a prison, it breeds insecurity, shyness etc you need to BELIEVE that you are good enough as a person that you don't need to be accepted by anyone because you are great the way you are. You gain your value from others, which is what i used to do, but now i have a "this is me in all my glory, get used to it " that doesn't mean be arrogant, but since i adopted this approach i've made so many new friends and have guys coming on to me at last.

    Remember with sex, it's YOUR right to enjoy it too, so if you want to try something new, just say, worst he/she can say is no and you might find out they have an adventerous side and want to try something with you, it will bring you closer opening up with your partner that way. If they sy no, just remember with sex it's supposed to be naughty and dirty, that's what makes it fun. Obviously try to please your partner in bed but remember they're supposed to try and please you too.
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    I can be the same.

    Even if you don't say anything, just look happy and laugh when appropriate. Keep things light and don't take stuff too seriously - be positive about stuff, and jokey if someone offends you. You'll probably feel more at ease if you do that, and you'll open up.

    You can't be too bad though, if you've found relationships - successful or not.

    I find it kinda hard to orgasm but my boyfriend's willing to work hard, so I'm lucky but just relax, find out what turns you on and find a decent guy to do the work.

    Good luck
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    I'm the same with people, I got to trust people before I can be myself with them.
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    Im like this in groups and i get really nervous with people I don't know. You know what i do to break ice when you walk in a room say hi to the nearest pereon and strike a convo, Its really nerv racking but it gets you used to just talking.
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    Alcohonl cabn help youou ti be yoursle f and to relacks r yu fcoukd rJW some rohypbol befoer you fi iyr :O
 
 
 
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