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Never spoken to my sister's boyfriend (details inside) Watch

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    please anonymous or delete.

    My sister and her boyfriend have been together for about two years (don't know exactly when they got together because they kept things secret). Her boyfriend was in the year above me at school. He knew I was her brother so he teased me with his group of friends but in a jokey way. I didn't see it as a joke and reported it for bullying. Feelings were a bit bitter but he held no grudge. They were seeing each other after school a lot, in the local parks and stuff.

    When he left school, he started coming round to our house with my sister. He's done this almost every day. He took a gap year to earn money and be with her. When I came home from school, I would avoid him, try to arrive at the door later, not answer the door for them, never said hello to him. Basically, I never spoke to him. I guess it's because I was jealous of him. He got a gf so easily but I have never got a gf. He has more friends, a decent part time job, is more grown up, has better social skills than me, is much stronger than me. I also think that he thinks I'm a snitch for reporting him for bullying when he wasn't. The only thing I am better at is height - I am taller than him.

    It's been so long though and I haven't spoken to him for so long that I don't know what to say. How do I break the ice and start being friendly with him? Sorry for such a long introduction. I needed to get all that off my chest.
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    Speak to your sister. Given that she's the link between you (and knows him pretty well) she will know the best way to approach him and can help it not be too awkward between you two. Just tell her that you feel a bit awkward about how you initially knew her boyfriend but are fine with him now and would like to get to know him. I'm sure she'll be pleased and do all she can to help.
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    just greet him the next time he comes around with a friendly "alright?" and then build up from there?
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    (Original post by -WhySoSerious?)
    just greet him the next time he comes around with a friendly "alright?" and then build up from there?
    that's the thing though, I'm not a confident guy and even less confident after having not spoken to him for so long. he comes round to our house almost every day and I feel like such a loser for avoiding him all the time. he must think I'm a real freak!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    that's the thing though, I'm not a confident guy and even less confident after having not spoken to him for so long. he comes round to our house almost every day and I feel like such a loser for avoiding him all the time. he must think I'm a real freak!
    He's just another human being, think of it that way. Nothing special at all. Say 'hi' like you would to anyone in the street.
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    It it a big deal? Do you need to speak to him for any reason? Do you WANT to, or do you just feel that you should?

    I was with my boyfriend for almost 5 years and he and my brother never spoke apart from the odd 'hello' when passing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    that's the thing though, I'm not a confident guy and even less confident after having not spoken to him for so long. he comes round to our house almost every day and I feel like such a loser for avoiding him all the time. he must think I'm a real freak!
    You don't need confidence as such. Next time he rings the door bell, open the door and say "Hey [his name here], come in..." Easy convo.

    And as someone already mentioned, I would defo speak to your sister. I'm sure she'll be only too happy to help
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    Don't speak to him. He's doing dirty things to your sister, you're well within your right to randomly break his leg, or pour soup over his face.





    Not saying I did those things. :emo:
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    just answer the door would be a starting point you dont even have to say anything
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    Sorry to add this info in only now, but she's 16 and he's 19 (3 year age gap). He once asked me in a smug way "is it alright that me and your sister are together?" I'm just suspicious of him but he has been with her for two years. I don't feel comfortable though.
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    Just say hello in passing, then pass him more often, then start to build on the hellos.

    I have a similar problem. I've never really spoken to my brother's girlfriend. The difference is that I really like her, but just have nothing to talk about, and I only see her once or twice a year. She probably thinks I'm a freak or hate her..
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    (Original post by llys)
    Just say hello in passing, then pass him more often, then start to build on the hellos.

    I have a similar problem. I've never really spoken to my brother's girlfriend. The difference is that I really like her, but just have nothing to talk about, and I only see her once or twice a year. She probably thinks I'm a freak or hate her..
    but speaking to a girl is much easier. they're friendly, beautiful people and utterly flawless in everything they do.

    it's so much harder to speak to a guy like what I'm faced with.
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    He sounds like a bit of an ******* to me
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    but speaking to a girl is much easier. they're friendly, beautiful people and utterly flawless in everything they do.
    You've obviously never met me.

    Anyway you don't have to have deep conversations with this guy, in fact if you suddenly tried that it would appear more freaky than continuing not talking to him. Just say "hello" in passing for a year or so and then go from there. Take it in very small steps.
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    Open the door for the guy would probably be the first step.
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    (Original post by Eva2)
    He sounds like a bit of an ******* to me
    Who, me? :eek:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Who, me? :eek:
    No, your sister's boyfriend.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sorry to add this info in only now, but she's 16 and he's 19 (3 year age gap). He once asked me in a smug way "is it alright that me and your sister are together?" I'm just suspicious of him but he has been with her for two years. I don't feel comfortable though.
    Lol that would be like me dating a 15 year old - she is way too young for him!

    IMO start squatting, deadlifting, pressing, pulling and kick his ass in a year.
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    Well you don't make him out to be a bad guy, just that there's been a bit of misunderstanding in the past. I'd personally tell it to my sister if it were me, ask her advice, as she knows both of you. Perhaps even show her the original post?

    Start by being civil, but smile as well.
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    Often, we can learn a lot from the people we envy.

    We can also, if we're humble enough, turn that envy into admiration.

    So I would suggest that you try to spark a conversation with this guy. You clearly don't have anything against his personality, you might even get on really well.

    I can imagine it might be difficult just starting to be friendly after so many years (?) of the cold shoulder. Why not get a few beers in and just offer him one next time he's round. Have a few with him. It tends to relax the situation.
 
 
 
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