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    (Original post by estel)
    I wouldn't understand why a long distance relationship would be out of the question? :s
    Agreed. I'd go for the long distance, then if transferring closer to them was an option for the rest of uni, I would probably give that some thought. I dunno, nothing's ever as clear cut as the thread-starter makes this one, as there's many more factors to consider.
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    I would pick university but would make it so I didnt lose them also. Let me explain, I applied for Portsmouth and the university my boyfriend attended (before he accepted it) and 2 others. I got into all my choices and went to all the open days. I spoke to my boyfriend informing him I had my heart set on Portsmouth and he took it fine and said it'd be a bit weird going to the same uni anyway as any couple need their own space. So even though we're going to different uni's and the journey is an hour away we're both so madly and deeply in love with each other we're willing to make it work. Heck, he's even coming to stay with me for a bit when we first start. And when it's holidays we live near each other anyway.

    Bottom line is - if you love someone enough you'll find a way. If they're not willing, then defintely put your education first and I'm sure they'll come back realizing that if they put the effort in things could work even if it's 3 or so hours away (think of holidays at uni,they're quite long!)
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    I'd choose university, but before I ended it I'd give them the options.

    1.) Long distance
    2.) Coming with me
    3.) Ending it

    And let them decide. It's fairer that way I think.
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    you have to give long distance a try
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    If you can't have a long-distance relationship, and you can't go to a different university, and for some reason you can't seem them at weekends (this is a silly question) I'd pick them over university. Unless you're doing a vocational degree, university is a waste of time and money and I have no desire to go.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Here's a scenario for you to think about:

    You've just met the person of your dreams. They are stunning, intelligent, friendly and down to earth. You really believe that they are the one.

    You spend a few months together and you fall deeply in love with this person. You've been trying to put off uni as 'ages away' or 'we'll deal with it nearer the time'; however, that time has come and you need to make a decision. The only university you could get into is miles away and it would be completely unfair to ask your partner to give up their friends, family and work to move away for your benefit.

    In this situation, staying with the partner means that you cannot attend university. Forget about the dynamics for now, perhaps your partner lives very rurally or nowhere near any university you want to go to.

    So would you leave your partner (a long distance relationship is out of the question) or give up university?

    Would I be able to ask if you've ever had your heart properly broken?

    If the answer is a definite yes, you have had your heart broken, and you do definitely know what it feels like, then I'd say your idea that "they are the one" might have more weight.

    But seriously, that besides, I would choose uni. You really really are not alone, many people do this. You need to think about it this way: during uni, you can still keep in touch and see each other etc. If you still have feelings for them after uni, which isn't that far away relationship wise, then you can go on dates and try and hook up again if you wanted.

    Honestly, I'm not a cynical so-and-so who thinks that love is not worth any major sacrifice, it is, but this is not one of those times. Go for uni.
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    I'd definatley want to go to uni!
    But if I thought they were 'the one' etc, I would ask them to keep in contact and see them in the holidays and things until uni was finished!
    But I wouldn't, i couldn't give up uni!
    Its my dream to go to cambridge anyways
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    love. im just lucky that after thinking i didnt want to go to uni when i changed my mind my boyfriend has been there for me 100% going with me to a couple of open days (we live 2 and a half hours away but 4 hours when he is at uni) fair enough we started off in a LDR but we wouldnt give it up no way
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    (Original post by punktopia)
    They'll get over it, and you'll probably meet someone better at uni anyway. Or at least a string of decent shags.
    Hahaha, Nice!
    Yeah, I'd choice Uni then if you haven't met someone else there.
    Go back home and see if he still wants you?
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    University is much better than love in the long term. You can actually gain something out of it rather than being brainwashed by a man who doesn't even care about you.
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    I chose university over love. The guy I loved was dead set against a long distance relationship, so it really was an either or situation. You know. University was my chance to get out of the hellhole I was living in, I was suffering from quite severe anxiety attacks, I had no friends, I was slowly going mad- despite how much I loved him (and I haven't ever loved anyone as much) going to university was the right thing to do, for me.

    Of course love is worth sacrificing almost anything for, but, is it worth ending up being sectioned, or, worse, dead? I've had a lot of time to think about that decision since. Especially considering I haven't met anyone else, and I'm not exactly likely to, either. So in effect, I gave up what may turn out to be the only relationship I would ever have had. Leaving me completely alone.

    Except I'm not, because now I have friends. Who I love. Maybe not as deeply or as much as I loved (love) him, but it's basically worth it.

    Hah, hah.
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    No, you'll meet loads of people at uni
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    The only university you could get into is miles away and it would be completely unfair to ask your partner to give up their friends, family and work to move away for your benefit.
    Huh... and it's completely fair for them to ask me to give up my education for their benefit?

    They can move with me if they want to be with me. Surely my education and therefore future career is more important than their inclination to stay where they are.
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    University. No question.
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    why not both? keep a long distance relationship.

    on topic, i choose uni over love.
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    Well, I'd choose uni... and just do a LDR.

    Fortunately for me I've found the perfect university and it's actually a lot closer to my boyfriend! So... win-win situation for me.

    For a relationship to work there has to be sacrifices for both people :dontknow: There's no point in saying 'well, I'm going to university... if you don't come with me then we'll have to break up' because your OH is giving up everything to be with you and you're giving up nothing.

    And... love always finds a way!
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    If the relationship was important enough then you would have to find a way to make long distance work - if they r not willing to hav a long distance relationship then the relationship clearly is'nt as good as it seems and university degrees will get you a long way - much further then a relationship will.......

    So no i wouldnt pick love over university education is just too important
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    University for me too.
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    University

    If we weren't willing to give each other up, I might be prepared to wait for him for three years if he were to wait for me. (I think I read far too many romance books xD)
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    I can't believe most people have said university!
    If in the hypothetical situation really is an either/or, i'd pick love in a second, I wouldn't even think about it!
    I wouldn't be happy at uni, i'd always be thinking 'what if', and then I could follow my second career option as a chef. :love:
 
 
 
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