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How can I get my girlfriend to lose weight? watch

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    (Original post by Adonis)
    Did you really say that?

    Thought you'd realise women looked beyond such superficial things.

    I've had women say I'm hot/amazing body, etc.. but reject me based on other stuff
    Yes, I was being sarcastic! Cos you said you were really hot and...oh you get my drift!

    Oh... I dont want to pry, b ut is it the smell? Oh yeah I went there. High five for maturity?
    • #4
    #4

    OP dnt dump her...talk it through!!! Sometimes it takes someone else to mention that you have put on weight, before you actually realise. Tell her what you are thinking and be mature about it when (if) you decide to tell her...I suggest that you engage in some kind of sport together. This way you can have fun whilst burning those calories. :yes:
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    (Original post by nouvelle_vague)
    Yes, I was being sarcastic! Cos you said you were really hot and...oh you get my drift!

    Oh... I dont want to pry, b ut is it the smell? Oh yeah I went there. High five for maturity?
    lol

    what's so mature about not being superficial?

    i couldn't be with a girl unless I found her amazing both physically and mentality

    although I'm willing to accept more things mentality.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    well? shes put on a few pounds and I'm not sure I want to go out with her any more.
    WOAH you are a shallow superficial pig...I mean you could of at least said you wanted her to lose weight for health reasons...but because you just dont fancy her!!...URGH men like you make me sick this is why dumb ass women believe in going crazily thin to please idiots like you. You make me sick.

    You know what man? You should just dump her for her own good, she is better off without a shallow bf like you anyway.
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    Get your friends to tell her she's putting on weight a bit. You, of course, say otherwise.
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    (Original post by Adonis)
    lol

    what's so mature about not being superficial?

    i couldn't be with a girl unless I found her amazing both physically and mentality

    although I'm willing to accept more things mentality.
    I don't really know if it makes someone more mature not to be superficial, I just think it makes them seem like a better/nicer person. I don't really like people who focus intently on how someone looks or how they dress, because in all honesty, to me, it doesn't matter.

    Of course I think that an initial attraction is more often than none physical, but I don't pay attention to anything other than eyes/smile/teeth/height. I never look at their body and consider how fat or thin or how toned they are, because things like that really don't matter to me.

    Then, when the I get to know someone a bit better, I'm all about how funny someone is or if they're easy to talk to and get along with. Being able to be myself around them is key too. I happen to be rather strange (no really!) and find humour in absolutley everything so I like people who can appreciate how silly and playful I am, and reciprcoate the silliness and playfulness too! ^_^

    Equally, if someone was purely attracted to me because they thought I have a nice body or amazing tits or a nice arse (which I always seem to get!) I'm instantly turned off. Of course I appreciate the compliment, but I'd rather want to be with someone who didn't think I had nice eyes or a nice smile

    Not sure if that answers your question to be honest....
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    (Original post by nouvelle_vague)
    I don't really know if it makes someone more mature not to be superficial, I just think it makes them seem like a better/nicer person. I don't really like people who focus intently on how someone looks or how they dress, because in all honesty, to me, it doesn't matter.

    Of course I think that an initial attraction is more often than none physical, but I don't pay attention to anything other than eyes/smile/teeth/height. I never look at their body and consider how fat or thin or how toned they are, because things like that really don't matter to me.

    Then, when the I get to know someone a bit better, I'm all about how funny someone is or if they're easy to talk to and get along with. Being able to be myself around them is key too. I happen to be rather strange (no really!) and find humour in absolutley everything so I like people who can appreciate how silly and playful I am, and reciprcoate the silliness and playfulness too! ^_^

    Equally, if someone was purely attracted to me because they thought I have a nice body or amazing tits or a nice arse (which I always seem to get!) I'm instantly turned off. Of course I appreciate the compliment, but I'd rather want to be with someone who didn't think I had nice eyes or a nice smile

    Not sure if that answers your question to be honest....
    lol, we are just very different me and you.

    personally I could never be with someone, even if they had the most amazing personality, smile, whatever, unless they had the body to match

    why? just cos, I place emphasis on that and like... I wouldn't want to be with a girl, and then see other girls in town who have nice bodies and I just feel =[ that I don't have that
    • #5
    #5

    you should never ever want her to change who she is.. this is very unfair. If you don't like her how she is then you clearly shouldn't be with her.It ain't just about looks, its meant to be about personality. It's your problem not hers.. I honestly feel sorry for your girlfriend she deserves better than you.
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    (Original post by Adonis)
    lol, we are just very different me and you.

    personally I could never be with someone, even if they had the most amazing personality, smile, whatever, unless they had the body to match

    why? just cos, I place emphasis on that and like... I wouldn't want to be with a girl, and then see other girls in town who have nice bodies and I just feel =[ that I don't have that
    We have many a difference, you and I. It's not really bad to place more emphasis on body image, to be honest, I just value other things more. Plus, really toned men with amazing bodies just make me really nervous. I often feel like a tellytubby in their presence.
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    (Original post by nouvelle_vague)
    We have many a difference, you and I. It's not really bad to place more emphasis on body image, to be honest, I just value other things more. Plus, really toned men with amazing bodies just make me really nervous. I often feel like a tellytubby in their presence.
    lol, i get that

    one girl who is my friend said she'd be afraid to date me, just cos of my lean-ness and affinity towards the skinny minnies
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    (Original post by Adonis)
    lol, i get that

    one girl who is my friend said she'd be afraid to date me, just cos of my lean-ness and affinity towards the skinny minnies
    I'd not be able to settle. I'd be constantly on the look out for disapproving glances when I ate a biscuit or would only have sex at night with all the lights off and he wouldn't be able to touch my hips out of fear of him grabbing them and going 'eee look at all this, could feed Africa with this!'

    I'm not particularly insecure, I'm quite happy with my appearance, but I imagine someone like that would just make me a wreck haha.
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    (Original post by nouvelle_vague)
    I'd not be able to settle. I'd be constantly on the look out for disapproving glances when I ate a biscuit or would only have sex at night with all the lights off and he wouldn't be able to touch my hips out of fear of him grabbing them and going 'eee look at all this, could feed Africa with this!'

    I'm not particularly insecure, I'm quite happy with my appearance, but I imagine someone like that would just make me a wreck haha.
    that would happen.

    this is why I could never be with someone who wasn't my physical ideal and strived to maintain herself that way

    because even if I were to be nice and kept my mouth shut, she'd know, and therefore it'd hurt her inside

    i know that's shallow but it's the truth.
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    a few pounds barely sounds like much, but i'll give you the benefit of the doubt

    As everyone else has suggested try getting her to do exercise (without her being aware its actually exercise). If you normally get the bus places-walk instead. If you normally take a lift-take the stairs. And sex is always a winner

    Also watch what you eat. Even if your metabolism can handle some junk food hers might not be able to so try eating healther alternative and making sure there are no snacks in the house
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    (Original post by Adonis)
    that would happen.

    this is why I could never be with someone who wasn't my physical ideal and strived to maintain herself that way

    because even if I were to be nice and kept my mouth shut, she'd know, and therefore it'd hurt her inside

    i know that's shallow but it's the truth.
    I don't think you're being shallow to be honest, you're thinking of the girl's feelings, which is fair and decent
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    get her a gym membership for her birthday. she will be soo happy that she will make love to you for 3 days straight. that sex will make her lose 2 stone, then you wont need the gym membership so you can trade it for different items on ebay and eventually you can upgrade these items to an actual gym, so if she ever puts weight on again then she has no excuse for not losing it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    well? shes put on a few pounds and I'm not sure I want to go out with her any more.
    :rofl2:

    Ok, just suggest you both start going to the gym together as a measure to help kep fit whilst spending more time together.
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    With men looks get you the interview and personality gets you the job. If you think that wanting to be sexually attracted to your partner is superficial then 99% of men are superficial. I'm not going to pass judgement on women in this regard, but it seems to me that a lot more women would be concerned about their boyfriend's appearance than responses here suggest and that if it was a man getting fat and his girlfriend stayed fit and healthy a lot of women would sympathise with her rather than going on about his right to be less healthy and how she shouldn't find him any less attractive and if she loves him say and do nothing about it.

    And if its two people getting fat together, then that is just unhealthy mutual reinforcement, not love and concern about each other's wellbeing. And before it gets raised as other's have pointed out 'a few pounds' does not mean 2-3 pounds, its a colloquial, polite and sensitively understated expression for visually noticeable weight gain - you don't think he actually spies on her using the bathroom scales and notes the observation in a log for future comparison do you?

    If you notice the responses to this thread correlate entirely with gender, its mainly girls saying romantic naive rubbish about how "he should love me even if I got fat", and men saying yes he might still love you but can't consciously control the fact that he'd find you less sexually attractive - and that is important.

    Not many people have said its actually healthy for the person themselves if they stay in shape, rather than letting themselves go in the false sense of security people get in relationships (and more so in marriage). It is healthy and good for you full stop. Its good for partners to find each other attractive, its good for your self esteem in and outside of the relationship and its good for your long term health which will result in you living a happier, more energetic and most importantly longer life.
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    (Original post by parpirate)
    Alcohol doesn't contain fat, it does however contain lots of calories which are then stored as fat if they are not used up.
    oh yes ofcourse, I should have known better, it was late when I wrote that!
    So yeah sugary and calorific can be stored as fat. hence the phrase 'beer belly'.
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    (Original post by Thomasmc135)
    That's way OTT, do you by any chance have relations to the nazi party? They didn't mess around either.

    It's his life, if he doesn't like her anymore then who are you to have a go at him. I bet you've passed up on some guys based on the way that they looked, so you can't now say that the OP is shallow because he is doing it. A few pounds is a lot, and it is easily noticeable.
    A few pounds is nothing. And for the record, I don't belong to the nazi party. Any guy considering breaking up with his girl because of the way she looks doesn't deserve to be in a proper relationship.
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    If her weight really is too much like she is actually fat maybe tell her the truth. The truth hurts but sometimes we need to hear it...
    But if SHE is happy with her weight then don't say anything and if you don'r find her attractive then what you do about it is up to you
 
 
 
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