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    Has she recently gone on the pill or anything? Cos that can cause weight gain pretty easily.

    What i'd do is just start exercising together, or sit her down and just tell her the truth but be nice about it. I'm sure something will work eventually
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    have more sex you frigid chubbychaser.
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    (Original post by Ilora-Danon)
    You disliking her weight isn't her problem, it's yours so you sort it out in your head - you either accept it or move on. Getting someone else to change on your behalf is unforgivable.
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    (Original post by Eva2)
    Besides, has it occured to you that maybe she can't help but put on a few pounds, for some reason? I mean, I've put on weight because I've got an addiction, should my boyfriend (supposing I have one) dump me because of that?
    Nevertheless, if she feels overweight with any luck she'll be sensible enough to do something about it. But that's for her own sake, not for her stupid boyfriend's sake.
    Well I'd hope that you'd tell your bf about your addiction and let him help you with it.

    I agree that if two people genuinely care about each other than they won't be bothered by a little weight gain. But if you genuinely care about each other you should be honest with each other as well.

    If you feel less attracted to your girlfriend for whatever reason, not telling her isn't going to make the situation any better. Be honest, talk to her about it (but be delicate).

    Otherwise it's going to upset her a lot more when you start seeming less interested or when you suddenly break-up without giving her the option to fix whatever the problem is. Yes she might not want to change the way she is (in which case a break-up would be an appropriate resolution), but that should be a choice she makes - not one you make on her behalf.

    Breaking-up with someone you care about without trying to fix it first ? - that's a truly horrible thing to do.
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    (Original post by yoyo462001)
    Its totally upto her whether she wants to change her body but then again she should want to look her best to make her BF happy, if this was your bf would you say 'F that im not changing, its totally upto me' or 'ok i dont mind losing a few pounds if that'll make you happy' ?
    That's ridiculous! If a guy truly cares about his girlfriend he would never ask her to lose some weight to make him happy, how absurd!

    My bet is, she's put on a few pounds due to the pill. Tell her she doesn't need to use it anymore and start using a 'sensation losing' condom. Insensitive ******.
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    Morrissey designed a song especially for this kind of problem. Play it out loud in front of her. It'll make her feel embarrassed and then endeavour to loose weight.


    Serious advice is probably asking her directly. Chance are she'll make a thread on TSR claiming that her boyfriend is asking for her to loose weight, and since we'll know it's your girlfriend, we'll be sympathetic to you rather than your girlfriend.

    Ok, no I'll be serious for real now. Just tell her directly but obviously don't be too direct that it that it offends her. Chances are she'll already be self conscious about her weight. Perhaps suggest to her to come to the gym with you (or arrange to go to the gym together). If she really loves you, I'm sure she'll be ready to try and loose weight. If not, then I think you two should break up as you aren't really meant for one another.
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    (Original post by ttx)
    Well I'd hope that you'd tell your bf about your addiction and let him help you with it.

    I agree that if two people genuinely care about each other than they won't be bothered by a little weight gain. But if you genuinely care about each other you should be honest with each other as well.

    If you feel less attracted to your girlfriend for whatever reason, not telling her isn't going to make the situation any better. Be honest, talk to her about it (but be delicate).

    Otherwise it's going to upset her a lot more when you start seeming less interested or when you suddenly break-up without giving her the option to fix whatever the problem is. Yes she might not want change the way she is (in which case a break-up would be an appropriate resolution), but that should be a choice she makes - not one you make on her behalf.

    Breaking-up with someone you care about without trying to fix it first ? - that's a truly horrible thing to do.
    Well, I do agree that two people who genuinely care about one another should be totally honest, but I certainly don't agree that a guy should ever tell his girlfriend to lose weight. There are lines you simply do not cross in a relationship. It would be like a girl telling you that your sexual performance does absolutley nothing for her, could you get some hints and tips to make you better; it would crush you, just as telling your girlfriend she's put on weight would crush her.

    Surely if you genuinely care about someone you'd prefer not to crush them with insensitive chauvenist views?
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    (Original post by 4_sophia)
    Yes but at the same time, she's changed! She wasn't fat before, she's piled on the pounds. So someone you might have fancied before, you might not fancy anymore! You can't help who you're attracted to!
    I say, you either tell her straight out that she needs to lose the weight or you finish with her. At the end of the day sometimes you're better off being brutally honest! A true friend should be able to tell you anything and it might upset you to start off with but they're doing it for your own good and you'll thank them for it later!
    "a few pounds" is not going to suddenly make someone fat though.
    A thin person will still be fairly thin if they put on a few pounds etc.

    Unless she's like a stick, you probably wouldn't notice a few pounds difference.
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    (Original post by ttx)
    Well I'd hope that you'd tell your bf about your addiction and let him help you with it.

    I agree that if two people genuinely care about each other than they won't be bothered by a little weight gain. But if you genuinely care about each other you should be honest with each other as well.

    If you feel less attracted to your girlfriend for whatever reason, not telling her isn't going to make the situation any better. Be honest, talk to her about it (but be delicate).

    Otherwise it's going to upset her a lot more when you start seeming less interested or when you suddenly break-up without giving her the option to fix whatever the problem is. Yes she might not want to change the way she is (in which case a break-up would be an appropriate resolution), but that should be a choice she makes - not one you make on her behalf.

    Breaking-up with someone you care about without trying to fix it first ? - that's a truly horrible thing to do.
    I agree with that, except why would anyone be so shallow as to break up with their girlfriends just because they have put on a few pounds and want to keep it that way? It's rather stupid, people should be grateful just to have someone to love and stand by their side.
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    (Original post by nouvelle_vague)
    It would be like a girl telling you that your sexual performance does absolutley nothing for her, could you get some hints and tips to make you better; it would crush you
    Yes it would. But I'd still rather she told me rather than keep quiet, so I could get better at it.

    Otherwise you're just swapping short-term pain for long-term pain.
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    (Original post by cpj1987)
    How about just dumping her then? She shouldn't have to change for you - it's you with the issue.
    Well said.
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    This depends somewhat on how much weight she's gained. If by a "couple of pounds", you actually mean a couple of pounds - there's really little point in badgering her about it because, as many others have said, it could probably just be to do with the pill or some such thing. Furthermore, if you're becoming so bummed out and a tad :fuhrer: about such a small weight gain, are you not going to be stuffed in later life - what with people gaining weight as they grow older, pregnancy and what not. If you're truly attracted to a person, fairly trivial things like this shouldn't really be an issue :yes:

    On the other hand, if by a "couple of pounds", you mean she has become morbidly obese, then yes - you should mention it to her, just don't be nasty about it, because she will already be very aware of it.

    Or... I could have read into the whole thing waaay too much and wasted my time :holmes:
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    As expected this thread is full of angry women giving you grief. I dont agree with the people who are saying 'its all your problem so deal with it', a relationship is a 2 way thing, in order to make relationships successful you need to work with eachother. Tell eachother what you dont like/want to happen then change for eachothers sake. In that view I dont see why its such a crime to want a girlfriend whos in better shape. (Though wanting to dump her is a bit much (unless she's gotten extremely unattractively big)).

    Maybe ask her if theres anything she wants to change about you and hope that she asks you back but be careful with the language you choose.
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    If you sleep together, just look at her stomach in a funny way ... or in disgust. Not that I would do such a thing.
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    Sex her intensely :badger:

    To be honst though its probably something she is aware of and probably feels a bit self conscious about. Try and be supportive. You could tell her you want to work out more and go jogging etc and get her to go along.
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    If you tell her direct and straight up , you could harm your relationship and trust. but either way you're going to hurt her feelings. But sometimes the truth hurts , right ?.

    Something like weight shouldn't be putting you off her anyway , it's what comes from the inside that matters .
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    lawl I've got the same problem except it's her problem and not mine. So I want her to lose weight for her own sake, not necessarily mine. This isn't a case of minor anorexia either, she isn't like size 8 or anything.

    HALP
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    (Original post by ttx)
    Yes it would. But I'd still rather she told me rather than keep quiet, so I could get better at it.

    Otherwise you're just swapping short-term pain for long-term pain.
    Putting on a few pounds doesn't really qualify as long term pain, nor does it even qualify as short term pain. There isn't any acceptable time when a man can tell a woman he thinks she's put on a few pounds and in order to "satisfy him" she ought to slave away at the gym to get rid of a few pounds which she has probably put on due to being on the pill so he doesn't have to wear a condom.

    I find a lot of the men on TSR pretty pathetic in some respects. A lot of you seem to have some cooked up notion of how relationships should be: the male's opinion is the only opinion, and that their girlfriend should look exactly like the girls in the magazines they **** off to, and that any tiny flaw should result in a demoralisation of her character and crushing her feelings.

    I don't think a lot of you realise that if a woman puts on a bit of weight in a relationship it means she's happy and doesn't feel the need to be slaving away at the gym or constantly dieting because she feels secure enough with her boyfriend to know that if she does put on a bit of excess weight he won't run for the hills like the toss pots she meets in town who are only after a shag. And if you are purely with her because she's thin or whatever then you're obviously a **** and don't deserve her.

    It's really not fair of anyone to tell their partner they're putting on weight, male or female, it's not really a detrimental problem in a relationship and if you're shallow enough not to be attracted to someone who has a bit extra to hold on to then you're really not worth it and should sort out your own ******* problems before you take your insecurities out on your poor girlfriend.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    well? shes put on a few pounds and I'm not sure I want to go out with her any more.
    Break up with her, if you really loved her, you'd love her fat aswell, she's obviously not the one for you, go out and find the one you do love
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    I don't think the problems with her I think its with you.
 
 
 
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