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How can I get my girlfriend to lose weight? watch

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    (Original post by Jennifer_l85)
    How is someone who is out of shape more of a 'real woman'?
    Because every time you see somebody use the phrase 'real women' on this forum, you know a whole ton of bull is about to follow
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    This is a bit of a difficult subject to bring up.

    BUT - you should still love her no matter what size she is, if you don't the relationship won't work. However, you should feel concerned about her health. And that's the way you have to bring it up (in the nicest possible way)
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    Ask a mutual friend to tell her, that she is fluffy and her boyfriend would want her to be not that fluffy. :>

    But I think she knows she is fat or whatever, but she can't force herself to go on a diet...
    So ask a girl friend about the women talk ur girlfriend and she have...
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    (Original post by Jennifer_l85)
    Why would you assume that women at the gym with good figures 'slave away to impress men'? Many people make an effort to stay in shape because they want to look their best and be healthy. How is someone who is out of shape more of a 'real woman'?
    If a man wanted a woman to be toned and skinny then he should go to the gym and find a woman who is like that. Being a 'real woman' has nothing to do with being in and out of shape, I never said that women who were out of shape were 'real women' at all. I don't think it's fair to say that women who embrace their curves and don't have washboard abs are out of shape; I am rather curvy and don't have a super toned stomach but I'm far from out of shape.

    Also, I don't think I was very clear with what I meant. I just found my post and realised it sounds a bit *****, so I'll try to make it more clear here... What I meant by 'real women' I meant like, every day women who have curves and a bit of a wobbly tummy because they're happy with themselves and don't feel the need to be anything like what men think they should be like; washboard tummies and not an ounce of fat. I didn't mean that women who go to the gym actualy slave away for men, even if it did sound like it! My apologies.
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    Maybe she's pregnant with your child :eek:
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    "a few pounds" is not going to suddenly make someone fat though.
    A thin person will still be fairly thin if they put on a few pounds etc.

    Unless she's like a stick, you probably wouldn't notice a few pounds difference.
    Yea I think he was being polite. As you said, you wouldn't notice a few pounds which means she either has put on a lot of weight OR she told him she'd put on a few pounds, which means she must be insecure and paranoid with her weight now anyway
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    hahahahaha lol, spike her with clenbeuterol or ephedrine shud do trick n give her mre energy 2
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    (Original post by nouvelle_vague)
    Yeah, I know he didn't mean 1/2 pounds but even a little bit of weight gain isn't a huge problem.
    Well you managed to start talking about "a few pounds" 11 minutes after that post so im not so sure you did. I dont think anyone is disagreeing with the fact that expecting your gf to be a particular weight within a 2 pound margin is unreasonable. You've kind of put that and several other hyperboles into peoples mouths to make points about modern culture and body image without listening to what people have been saying.

    All we know is that the OP's gf put on enough weight for it to effect her attractiveness to him in a noticeable way. I'd say that was probably something more in the regions of 1-2 stone.

    The OP didn't really mention anything to be honest, so a lot of us have been making assumptions as to why his girlfriend may have put on weight. Where as a lot of the males have been saying its her fault and she just eats and eats, the women seem to be bringing logic into it and it's a fact that depending on what type of pill you're on, you will put on weight and it will fluctuate too.
    Totally agree although it is equal possible she was eating and doing less exercise which isnt an illogical assumption.

    Personally, if I put on 2-3 stone, I'd know about it and I'd be making efforts to lose weight so I felt better about myself, rather than what my boyfriend thought of me. Of course I care what he thinks about me, but I care more about if he finds me intelligent or funny or thinks I have a nice smile and pretty eyes rather than what he thinks about the size of my arse.

    Just as I'm sure he'd not really give a **** what I'd think about him if he had man boobs; he'd make changes so HE felt better about himself rather than what I thought - which is IMO, the best way to be, regardless of relationship status.
    Thats very sweet and hes obviously a lucky guy to have someone who loves him like that

    I think what a lot of men in this thread are lacking is the notion that women can actually have their own say in a relationship. Its infuriating but the downfall of man often is -.-
    I think what one women on this thread is lacking is the ability to talk about weight gain, sexual desire and relationship issues without making it into a crusade against all men. I think youre blaming the entire TSR male population for something you should be blaming the fashion industry and the popular media.

    Nobody said that women should have no say in a relationship. But if a woman decides she wants to gain weight to the point where her partner finds her less attractive she has to accept that he is going to find her less attractive simply because humans are fallible and don't have conscious control over their sexual desires. If you love someone; you want them to find you attractive and you'll do what it takes to make that the case.

    And forgetting to look after yourself because your secure and complacent in a long term realtionship is a real and common issue that alot of people reading this thread will face at some point. I certainly have.
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    sexcercise.
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    i cannot belive you just started a thread about this you ungrateful wee *****! its not all about the looks and if you loved her you wouldnt worry what way she looks! people like you need to get a lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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    (Original post by Ilora-Danon)
    You disliking her weight isn't her problem, it's yours so you sort it out in your head - you either accept it or move on. Getting someone else to change on your behalf is unforgivable.
    (Original post by cpj1987)
    How about just dumping her then? She shouldn't have to change for you - it's you with the issue.
    http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f2...5566134133.gif














    lol u mad

    he didnt say he wants her to have plastic surgery he just wants her to lose a few why get soo mad about it
    (Original post by Perfect_Gent)
    Then don't, you obviously don't deserve her.
    ur name...that is all
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    (Original post by Eva2)
    If you don't want to go out with her because she's put on a few pounds then you're a shallow ******* and deserve to be shot.
    That's way OTT, do you by any chance have relations to the nazi party? They didn't mess around either.

    It's his life, if he doesn't like her anymore then who are you to have a go at him. I bet you've passed up on some guys based on the way that they looked, so you can't now say that the OP is shallow because he is doing it. A few pounds is a lot, and it is easily noticeable.
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    [QUOTE=halfoflessthan50p]Well you managed to start talking about "a few pounds" 11 minutes after that post so im not so sure you did. I dont think anyone is disagreeing with the fact that expecting your gf to be a particular weight within a 2 pound margin is unreasonable. You've kind of put that and several other hyperboles into peoples mouths to make points about modern culture and body image without listening to what people have been saying.

    All we know is that the OP's gf put on enough weight for it to effect her attractiveness to him in a noticeable way. I'd say that was probably something more in the regions of 1-2 stone.[QUOTE]

    IMO, a few pounds is about 5+ so obviously I know he didn't mean 1/2 :p: So if I've misinterpreted other people's opinion then, silly me, but I don't agree that I've been putting hyperboles into people's mouths at all and I have read what people have been saying and giving my opinion.

    I agree that expecting your partner to be a particular weight is unreasonable, but I also think that expecting your partner to live up to your standards is unreasonable too. It's not really fair on your partner if she feels that she's comfortable enough in a relationship to not go to the gym 3 times a week and allow herself to eat takeaways and stuff if you are doing the same thing? If a woman constantly has to second guess herself, wondering if her boyfriend isgoign to think she's fat if she orders a steak at a restaurant or if she fancies eating a packet or two of crisps. It's not really fair on her, is it?

    (Original post by halfoflessthan50p)
    Totally agree although it is equal possible she was eating and doing less exercise which isnt an illogical assumption.
    I agree, she may have been eating and doing less exercise, but like I said before why should she have to in order to keep him happy?

    (Original post by halfoflessthan50p)
    Thats very sweet and hes obviously a lucky guy to have someone who loves him like that
    Aww, thank you! I think he considers himself quite lucky too :p: But personally I think I'm the lucky one to have a guy who adores me wharts and all. Also someone who doesn't think weight gain is a dump-able offence! Haha.

    (Original post by halfoflessthan50p)
    I think what one women on this thread is lacking is the ability to talk about weight gain, sexual desire and relationship issues without making it into a crusade against all men. I think youre blaming the entire TSR male population for something you should be blaming the fashion industry and the popular media.
    I don't think one woman is making a crusade against all men at all; I happen to adore men. I'm just finding a lot of them in this thread quite insensitive to a woman's needs, and expect her to be ready and willing to change to suit his desires at the drop of a hat; which, again, isn't fair. Also, if you want to know, I'll send you a PM in a mo with a link to my blog which may perhaps make you eat those last few words :p:

    (Original post by halfoflessthan50p)
    Nobody said that women should have no say in a relationship. But if a woman decides she wants to gain weight to the point where her partner finds her less attractive she has to accept that he is going to find her less attractive simply because humans are fallible and don't have conscious control over their sexual desires. If you love someone; you want them to find you attractive and you'll do what it takes to make that the case.
    I never said that a woman wouldn't have to accept that her boyfriend finds her less attractive; you can't help who and what aspects of a person you're attracted to. But I'm not really of the opinion that if you love someone you want to do whatever it takes to make them fancy you, I've never been like that. I'm too independent and secure in myself to adhere to the desires of a man. I'd only ever do something to satisfy my own needs, rather than someone elses - in all areas of life, too.

    (Original post by halfoflessthan50p)
    And forgetting to look after yourself because your secure and complacent in a long term realtionship is a real and common issue that alot of people reading this thread will face at some point. I certainly have.
    I agree. Extreme weight gain in a short amount of time; yeah thats forgetting to look after yourself. But putting on a bit of weight isn't really forgetting...it's not anything really. Nor is not wearing make up, or walking around in baggy t-shirts and pj pants isn't a huge problem either, at least it isn't for me. It's refreshing to be with someone who thinks I look prettier without make up than I do wth it.
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    (Original post by nouvelle_vague)
    essay
    see if you were hotter and skinnier, you wouldn't have time to write all that

    be out there having fun times.
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    (Original post by Adonis)
    see if you were hotter and skinnier, you wouldn't have time to write all that

    be out there having fun times.
    If you were hotter and more toned you wouldn't be replying to to me? :p:

    And I'm perfectly fine the way I am thanks. I consider myself to be quite pretty (not hot or beautiful, just pretty) and I'm not fat, I'm not skinny either but I'm alright. You may not find me hot but you're an internet person, you're not real so I don't care
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    (Original post by nouvelle_vague)
    If you were hotter and more toned you wouldn't be replying to to me? http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/images/smilies/p.gif

    And I'm perfectly fine the way I am thanks. I consider myself to be quite pretty (not hot or beautiful, just pretty) and I'm not fat, I'm not skinny either but I'm alright. You may not find me hot but you're an internet person, you're not real so I don't care
    LOL

    TBH... I couldn't really be more hotter/toned

    but I just don't have the greatest luck with womenz hence the abudance of time to spend on TSR instead of chillin' with the missus
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    (Original post by Adonis)
    LOL

    TBH... I couldn't really be more hotter/toned

    but I just don't have the greatest luck with womenz hence the abudance of time to spend on TSR instead of chillin' with the missus
    Well, that's a matter of opinion...what you find yummy about yourself others may not :p: Not that I'd know if you were hot or not, but like I say you're an internet folk.

    Why don't you have luck with the ladies? Surely ifyou're SUPER HOT women would be flocking from miles around? :p: I have a man but he happens to have friends who have birthdays and stuff and considering I can't afford milk at present...no fun times for me
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    u dont deserve her do u really fink even if u get married to a model shel be lookin the same 50 years later =S
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    (Original post by nouvelle_vague)
    Well, that's a matter of opinion...what you find yummy about yourself others may not http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/images/smilies/p.gif Not that I'd know if you were hot or not, but like I say you're an internet folk.

    Why don't you have luck with the ladies? Surely ifyou're SUPER HOT women would be flocking from miles around? http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/images/smilies/p.gif I have a man but he happens to have friends who have birthdays and stuff and considering I can't afford milk at present...no fun times for me
    Did you really say that?

    Thought you'd realise women looked beyond such superficial things.

    I've had women say I'm hot/amazing body, etc.. but reject me based on other stuff
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    (Original post by Ilora-Danon)
    You disliking her weight isn't her problem, it's yours so you sort it out in your head - you either accept it or move on. Getting someone else to change on your behalf is unforgivable.
    :ditto: This, entirely.

    You're either a troll or you're just an ass.

    Maybe I could understand if she'd put on a good few stone and you didn't feel like you fancied her any more but even then, to break up with her would be harsh.

    So to want to break up over a few pounds? I say break up with her so she doesn't have to put up with you any more.
 
 
 
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