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At what age would you put your child into a nursery? watch

  • View Poll Results: At what age would you put your child into a nursery?
    Birth- 3 months
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    Just over 3 months - 6 months
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    Just over 6 months - 12 months
    8
    14.29%
    Just over 12 months - 2 years
    13
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    Just over 2 years - 3 years
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    Just over 3 years - 5 years
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    Probably go in at about 3, but I'd use a sitter who does small groups before to allow my child to interact with others and have more stimulation from other adults apart from me and the boy. However, I'd hopefully be freelance so I would do the majority of the upbringing myself, apart from sending them to nursery for the all-important social interaction and being used to separation before starting primary school.
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    (Original post by TheJudge)
    Ideally i would be a stay at home dad looking after my children.
    Believe me, its not as fun as you might think it is. Endless washing up, cleaning and Cbbeebies on all day long. Never mind of course not being able to get anything done...



    (Original post by TheJudge)
    However its imperative that i send my children to top schools and offer them a high standard of living. I am studying mechanical engineering at a top uni i hope that if i get a good grade and a good job (read high earning) then i can afford a stay at home wife, a good house in a nice area, private education for my children and everything else i desire.

    Got the good house in a nice area. The parking is horrendous though, so half the time when I'm stuck at home its because I can't safely get the girls and necissary add-ons (changing bag, etc...) to the car as its half way up the street without having to get the pram out of the boot and strapping them in. And if the weather is bad, then this obviously isn't an option. God I wish the council would give us a CPZ, either that or the economy collapse enough so that the number of cars in our road halves, never mind the sodding commuters who knick the spaces during the day...


    As to private education, well its a complete waste of money up to the age of twelve IMHO, although I suppose really I ought to take a look at a private primary school to see what all the fuss is about. As to secondary schooling, well there are two very good schools in our area that aren't private, so I think we'd only consider going down the private route if the unlikely happened and either one of our girls turned out to be a thickie that can't pass the 11+, or of course if we end up having a boy later, as the schools in question are all-all girl schools.

    (Original post by TheJudge)
    As things stand i have to make my own path i can't rely on meeting a high earning woman.

    Well I did, met the high earning woman that is. She wasn't that high earning when we first met ten years ago though, maybe just above average I guess... But this and my late realisation that I had indeed cocked up by dropping out of uni, and therefore going back to actually get a degree, and then the whole house, kids, etc... happening before I'd managed to get onto a proper career ladder, did of course mean that I was the one to stay at home.



    Anyway as to the actual question that the thread is all about....


    Our eldest started nursery for two afternoons a week when she was about 22 months old, and she took to it like a duck to water. Our youngest will be starting this September (again starting with two afternoons), and she'll be around 20 months old, and I suspect that she will also take to it very well as she's tried to run into the place a couple of times when I've picked up or dropped off her sister.

    This time away from home is good for them, as it helps them to develop their social skills, and it also allows them to develop 'their world' away from mummy and daddy. They can make their own friends, and start to be themselves for the first time, rather than just an uncooperative and messy extension of mummy and daddy...

    Its obviously good for the parent who is stuck at home with them, as it does at least allow them to have a cup of tea and some time without screaming to watch some crap TV, do a spot of gardening, or just catch up on the tidying up, try to sort out changing the electricity and gas suppliers, etc... Or of course when I've got them both in for a full day, I fully intend to use that time to see some of the films at the cinema that I know my wife has no interest in seeing...

    As to when to put them into proper 'full time' nursery. Well oddly enough with two and my current 'no career' status, it actually makes more financial sense to hold off on that for as long as possible. Put quite simply if I put them both into full-time nursery now, even just from 9-3, then it would be £100 a day or more, and obviously a heck of a lot more for a nursery day from 8-6, which would allow me to do a 9-5 job...

    So, three years of age for full time nursery. They should be potty trained by then, and with the (limited) state funding it does at least mean that 2 1/2 hours a day are already paid for, so you just have to pick up the tab for the rest...
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    My daughter is starting nursery twice a week in September when I go to uni (she will be 2). I personaly wouldn't put a child in nursery much younger than 18 months-2 years and definitely not full time. As it is, I think she will benefit hugely from it, the place seems lovely and the kids looked really happy. (Also it is at the same place where they film Top Gear lol)
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    (Original post by abc101)
    How on earth is her post naive?

    The fact is simple: if you do not want or cannot afford to take time off work, DO NOT HAVE KIDS.

    Having kids is not a right, it's a gift, and one that should be treasured. If you aren't going to look after your child yourself and he's going to be in the care of others from an early age, why bother having one?
    Hmmmm, you also need to experience life a little it would seem. Until you actually have children, then I am afraid that I can view you comments as nothing more than the whitterings of an ignorant.
    You idea that a child is a commodity for those of a certain wealth bracket borders on facism. I have no desire to read more of your tripe, so don't bother.
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    PS Helper
    I wouldn't work if I had a child until they went to infant school (although I would let them go to playschool at atound three).
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    Neither of my children went to nursery ( I assume this when the word "Nursery" is used it refers to a private one) purely because we couldnt afford them, simple as. My eldest didnt leave my side until he went in to reception class at primary school. My second son went to play group 5 mornings a week, initially we had to pay around £30 a week, but when he got to be 3 it was free as the Government had introduced free nursery place for the 3-4yr olds by then. I am a stay at home Mum, but not by choice.The reason is simple, I am not qualified in anything nor am I a graduate which means that I could only earn minimum wage and would only be paying every single last penny to a childminder as I have no family to help me. My husband works long hours and I never know what time he will come home at night.

    So to sum up, Nursery is a good thing provided you can afford it.
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    (Original post by Annie72)
    Neither of my children went to nursery ( I assume this when the word "Nursery" is used it refers to a private one) purely because we couldnt afford them, simple as. My eldest didnt leave my side until he went in to reception class at primary school. My second son went to play group 5 mornings a week, initially we had to pay around £30 a week, but when he got to be 3 it was free as the Government had introduced free nursery place for the 3-4yr olds by then. I am a stay at home Mum, but not by choice.The reason is simple, I am not qualified in anything nor am I a graduate which means that I could only earn minimum wage and would only be paying every single last penny to a childminder as I have no family to help me. My husband works long hours and I never know what time he will come home at night.

    So to sum up, Nursery is a good thing provided you can afford it.
    A wise post, and importantly, one based on experience. When both of mine were in creche the fee's were indeed high. On balance, and with a fairly large mortgage to consider, both working really was the best option, both Kids did 3 days from 3 months.....and they have sone just fine.
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    When I go back to work full time I will be putting my baby in nursery, so probably around 8 to 9 months old. My mother has offered to look after the baby but I don't want to take advantage or need to find a last minute arrangement if something comes up.
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    (Original post by Stomm)
    Believe me, its not as fun as you might think it is. Endless washing up, cleaning and Cbbeebies on all day long. Never mind of course not being able to get anything done...






    Got the good house in a nice area. The parking is horrendous though, so half the time when I'm stuck at home its because I can't safely get the girls and necissary add-ons (changing bag, etc...) to the car as its half way up the street without having to get the pram out of the boot and strapping them in. And if the weather is bad, then this obviously isn't an option. God I wish the council would give us a CPZ, either that or the economy collapse enough so that the number of cars in our road halves, never mind the sodding commuters who knick the spaces during the day...


    As to private education, well its a complete waste of money up to the age of twelve IMHO, although I suppose really I ought to take a look at a private primary school to see what all the fuss is about. As to secondary schooling, well there are two very good schools in our area that aren't private, so I think we'd only consider going down the private route if the unlikely happened and either one of our girls turned out to be a thickie that can't pass the 11+, or of course if we end up having a boy later, as the schools in question are all-all girl schools.




    Well I did, met the high earning woman that is. She wasn't that high earning when we first met ten years ago though, maybe just above average I guess... But this and my late realisation that I had indeed cocked up by dropping out of uni, and therefore going back to actually get a degree, and then the whole house, kids, etc... happening before I'd managed to get onto a proper career ladder, did of course mean that I was the one to stay at home.

    I think we are different people. You find it hard and let your kids watch trash tv. Not my style.

    I intend to send my sons to private school not so bothered about my daughters.

    I don;t mind staying at home or making lots of money.
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    (Original post by TheJudge)
    I think we are different people. You find it hard and let your kids watch trash tv. Not my style.

    I intend to send my sons to private school not so bothered about my daughters.


    I don;t mind staying at home or making lots of money.
    Now I'm curious...if you're intending to send your sons to private school (for the education/opportunities etc), why is it less important that your daughters have an equally good academic start in life?
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    (Original post by The Referee)
    Now I'm curious...if you're intending to send your sons to private school (for the education/opportunities etc), why is it less important that your daughters have an equally good academic start in life?

    I think state schools are very sexist, they are baised towards girls. Schools are filled with middle class women who like teaching passive girls and they cannot deal with unruly boys. I don't want my sons education to be hurt because a teacher can't control them.

    Ideally i will send my boys to a private all boys school.
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    (Original post by TheJudge)
    I think state schools are very sexist, they are baised towards girls. Schools are filled with middle class women who like teaching passive girls and they cannot deal with unruly boys. I don't want my sons education to be hurt because a teacher can't control them.

    Ideally i will send my boys to a private all boys school.
    I have to admit, of all the possible reasons I considered, this didn't figure!

    Fair do's then.


    (I can't say anything about people sending their children to private school - I was educated privately all the way through from prep school and I would advocate it to anyone).
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    I haven't planned that far yet.
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    (Original post by TheJudge)
    I think we are different people. You find it hard and let your kids watch trash tv. Not my style.
    It is only 'hard' as achieving more than keeping the kids alive each day, etc... is virtually impossible. Luckily I'm a very practical sort of person, and to be quite frank I have no respect for those that can't at least re-hang a door, fit a mortice lock, etc...

    Anyway, in the 'free time' that I do have, I like to spend it doing as many jobs around the house as I can when the weather is bad, or this and last year doing intensive gardening, IoW moving a lot of earth around this year, and moving even more earth around last year and building a flipping huge deck.



    (Original post by TheJudge)
    I intend to send my sons to private school not so bothered about my daughters.
    Oh dear...


    (Original post by TheJudge)
    I don;t mind staying at home or making lots of money.

    Staying at home with the kids is a thankless task, even moreso for a man to do it. If I had a prior career that allowed me to work from home it might be a little bit easier, for example I know of one guy who's at home with the kids who still manages to find time to manage bands, etc... Largely because most of his 'work' obviously takes place in the evenings etc...


    So as and when you find yourself in that sort of position, it would be interesting to see how your tune has changed....
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    (Original post by Stomm)
    It is only 'hard' as achieving more than keeping the kids alive each day, etc... is virtually impossible. Luckily I'm a very practical sort of person, and to be quite frank I have no respect for those that can't at least re-hang a door, fit a mortice lock, etc...

    Anyway, in the 'free time' that I do have, I like to spend it doing as many jobs around the house as I can when the weather is bad, or this and last year doing intensive gardening, IoW moving a lot of earth around this year, and moving even more earth around last year and building a flipping huge deck.





    Oh dear...





    Staying at home with the kids is a thankless task, even moreso for a man to do it. If I had a prior career that allowed me to work from home it might be a little bit easier, for example I know of one guy who's at home with the kids who still manages to find time to manage bands, etc... Largely because most of his 'work' obviously takes place in the evenings etc...


    So as and when you find yourself in that sort of position, it would be interesting to see how your tune has changed....

    Don't judge me by yourself. I find other people to be weak willed and pathetic people. What you find hard i find easy.

    I would love to look after my kids, i would keep them well disciplined help them with their studies and push them in sport. I am not sure i can trust a woman to do this as well as me.

    I don;t care what other people think of me, the fact you seem sad that other people look down on you for being a househusband says it all.
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    (Original post by TheJudge)
    Don't judge me by yourself. I find other people to be weak willed and pathetic people. What you find hard i find easy.

    I would love to look after my kids, i would keep them well disciplined help them with their studies and push them in sport. I am not sure i can trust a woman to do this as well as me.

    I don;t care what other people think of me, the fact you seem sad that other people look down on you for being a househusband says it all.
    Oh dear...until you said this you were getting a lot of respect for being honest with yourself about what you want.

    If you can't trust a woman to fulfill these tasks (as long as you don't have unrealistic expectation wrt sport) then I'd advise against marrying her!
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    (Original post by TheJudge)
    Don't judge me by yourself. I find other people to be weak willed and pathetic people. What you find hard i find easy.

    I don't know, sure I can be weak willed in that I might choose to leave some washing up to the end of the day so that I can have a cup of tea. But I'd certainly say that as far as discipline and teaching my girls patience (IoW saying 'no' to them), I know for a fact that I am far better at it than any of the mothers I've encountered are. Which might go a long way towards explaining why our girls are so well behaved, generally speaking of course.



    (Original post by TheJudge)
    I would love to look after my kids, i would keep them well disciplined help them with their studies and push them in sport. I am not sure i can trust a woman to do this as well as me.

    Discipline and study etc... come much, much later. Its when they're crapping everywhere that its hard, especially when you get them up in the morning and it turns out that one of them has decided to decorate their cot with poo...


    The 'hard part' is the monotony, the constant cleaning, doing the same thing every day, day-in, day out, 24-7...



    However the really hard part, especially as a man that stays at home with the kids is the fact that you exist in a world that is quite frankly dominated by women who hardly ever have anything decent to talk about. So on the rare occasions where you do actually get to talk to someone who's age has reached double figures, the chances are you'll have nothing really to talk to them about than the kids, and this can get very, very annoying....


    (Original post by TheJudge)
    I don;t care what other people think of me, the fact you seem sad that other people look down on you for being a househusband says it all.

    Far from it, most men who have kids themselves have a 'bloody hell you're brave' sort of reaction, and the mothers by and large start off with 'oh that's nice', and then when they actually start to think about it they realise just how hard it can be for a bloke.

    For example I take our youngest daughter to a play-group on Thursday mornings whilst her older sister is in nursery (part of the reason to put them in nursery is to allow some 'quality time' with each one, if you can alternate the sessions and still have time to get your shopping done, etc...). It happens to conflict with when she should be having a nap, so I usually by the time we get there, there is only twenty or thirty minutes at most before we have to then leave. She spends the time there running around having fun, I spend my time there sitting down watching her. Quite frankly I really can't be arsed to try to strike up a conversation with any of the mothers there, I'd rather spend the time trying to take a load off my feet and regrouping my energies for the rest of the day, which involves a ballet lesson for the eldest, and then trying to talk to one of the mothers of one of the other girls that takes those lessons afterwards in the cafe downstairs whilst the three girls charge around, having to be chased after every two minutes or so...



    Anyway gotta go and pick some beans from the garden for supper, put the oven on and put in the smoked salmon thingy, and try to get our eldest to pod some peas, oh and of course tidy up the kitchen... I could do with sowing some more carrot seeds, this really nice purple variety called 'Purple Haze', but I think I'll leave trying to do that until this evening if the rain holds off...
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    my brother got sent at 3, now hes 5 going into year 1, personally i find him naughtier than he used to be :/must be the kids.

    My own kids, i wont send them to nursery, but if i have to then 3-4
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    12 months - 2 years.
    i dunno though i love kids and when i have them id probably wouldn't want to leave them.
    but i think nurseries are a good idea well i must if i wanna work in a nursery when im older.
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    (Original post by Mrm.)
    Hmmmm, you also need to experience life a little it would seem. Until you actually have children, then I am afraid that I can view you comments as nothing more than the whitterings of an ignorant.
    You idea that a child is a commodity for those of a certain wealth bracket borders on facism. I have no desire to read more of your tripe, so don't bother.
    Fascism? Are you for real?!

    Excuse me for thinking that it's SELFISH to have a child you aren't going to devote yourself to. If you aren't going to be able to look after your child yourself, why the bloody hell are you having a baby?
 
 
 
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